Time off work - bleeding

[AudreyM]

So I am writing on here because I feel really anxious about work. I have Endometriosis, ecently diagnosed PCOS and I was about to finally start fertility treatment after months of consultations, bad news, early miscarriage and tests when I discovered on Christmas Day that I was pregnant. In the doctors words - we are very lucky.

I work as a year 6 teacher and SENCo (which I only have one afternoon for so spend much of my free time doing it) in a school with a lot of challenging children. My average work week is around 60 hours. One day on a weekend spent planning as I am new to year six as well as the role of SENCo. Monday and Tuesday I have meetings until six and I have to get into work around 7 to get ready for the kids. So just the start of the week can be so draining.

I had been coping relatively well despite the odd afternoon out for fertility tests with my partner. But when I found out I was pregnant at Christmas that all changed. I've gone from eating very heathily to only being able to eat things like cheese and bread (I've lactose intolerant) which has been due to constant nausea. I've not been able to exercise despite normally holding down the job I've described and lifting weights (strong woman training) 3/4 times a week to getting shut down for the whole day from just walking the dog down the street.

I got signed off 4 weeks ago - two weeks slots because of the above and the fact that on top of this I've had constant spotting and despite only being 11 weeks pregnant I've had to have 3 emergency scans due to this. The worst being last week with a huge gush of heavy red blood. Each time the baby is fine but I am so anxious about it. No one knows where it is coming from.

On top of this in my time off I've had to be treated for a UTI with antibiotics and also take pregnancy prescribed heartburn medication due to my IBS cause massive issues.

It's half term now and my fit for work runs out tomorrow. I am so anxious about work and don't want to go back due to me never having a break, it being incredibly high stress, always on my feet and long working hours. I feel bad about it but with the bleeding I am wondering if they will sign me off again or not. It's SATs in may so this half term coming up will be even more work, stress and pressure. What do I do? It's not like an office job and they can't change classes or give responsibility to other people. Adjustment to hours isn't realistic either. There's a lot required just to do the class job never mind be on senior leadership too. I've worked hard for this, I'm only 28 but I've started to see how other things are more important. Help! Advice please 😫🙏🙏💓

You know what you need to do. Your first responsibility is to your baby. Get signed off again. School will just have to suck it up.

Get signed off. I'm a teacher too and currently 27 weeks pregnant. My last baby arrived suddenly at 29 weeks so this is a high risk pregnancy. I was signed off for 6 weeks at the beginning for hg; which also happened with my first, and now I've been signed off again for at least 4 weeks but likely until mat leave starts as I have irritable uterus and have been having contractions, which are made worse by moving around.
Like you I'm usually very fit and healthy; I'm a qualified personal trainer and so is my husband. Last pregnancy I exercised regularly but this time it's just too dangerous. I understand the guilt you feel from both work and for not being able to be as active as you'd like but believe me it is worth it. Nothing comes above the health of you and your baby.
Some women have smooth pregnancies and can keep working and exercising throughout; others don't. You have no control over which catagory of these you fall into and you normally look after yourself well.
Just take however much time off you need. Work will survive without you and you need to focus on your pregnancy right now.
I really hope things get easier for you. The worry of a stressful pregnancy takes it's toll. I've found that pregnancy yoga, mindfulness apps and acupuncture help; might be worth a try.
Message me if you need a chat.

There’s no medal at the end it saying well done for feeling incredibly anxious and potentially putting your baby at risk for your job. Nobody says thank you. Your job won’t appreciate you anymore. I’m talking from experience when I had AWFUL anxiety throughout my pregnancy, every day was a battle and like you had a few scary episodes of spotting. I remember having a screaming match with my boss who told me “I would fuck everybody over” by starting my maternity leave early on doctors orders. You do what’s best for you and baby and forget the rest.

Assuming your doctor will sign you off, don't feel guilty about the school. They will have to find someone to cover you, possibly for the whole pregnancy.

It is ultimately JUST A JOB! I say this as an ex-teacher, and I know it's hard to remember, but it's true. Try to enjoy your pregnancy and your baby, and remember that this must be your priority.

I know it’s easier said than done though. Having my second miscarriage in a year (last one nearly actually killed me and I had a whole TERM off) and have been advised to take next week off to deal with it medically. I’m experiencing the massive teacher guilt and I haven’t even told work yet. The first kid to say “Why were you off?” might regret it...

Thanks so much for your responses!

I decided to book an appointment with a doctor at my surgery. She gave me a note but then promptly said I couldn't be off for the rest of my pregnancy which I totally understand and don't want and said directly to her. I'm just glad my husband was there, because he kind of stuck up for me, explaining how ill I have been etc. She didn't seem too concerned about the heavy bleed I had on Thursday and when I asked about what could be done when I do go back to work, so that they might make adjustments she said she wouldn't be able to help other than say not to do any heavy lifting.

She said there's no reason for her to say there should be any adjustments despite me explaining the situation.

I just feel like I am going to spend the next two weeks either dreading the appointment that I will have if I still feel this way or have more bleeding and dreading the idea of going back into all that intensity and stress of SATs build up. I had an email with the work timetable and I will have to put in a lot of extra hours every week this term after school in addition to the ones I already do to prepare.

Argh.

I'm finding it hard not to judge myself. I think I prided myself in being able to cope with everything before. I had pneumonia just before October half term and only had one day off despite being hospitalized overnight which in hindsight was nuts but it's just how I am.

My mum is a head teacher and she has said she doesn't think I should go back until after Easter. She has been around for the fearful scans and bleeding and has seen how ill I've been with not being able to eat very well and fatigue.

I'll just have to see whathappens? Not sure what else I can do.

Livid21 I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I can only imagine what you've gone through. I know what you mean, luckily in primary schools kids tend to be very kind when push comes to shove. I hope you're on the way to recovery and looking after yourself the best you can ❤ xxxxx

Op could you ask to see a different gp when/if you go back? I've found that some gps are less sympathetic than others; usually based on their own experiences with pregnancy.

Dies your work do occupational health referrals? Sorry, I'm not sure if it's available or not in the public sector. I suffer from a long term chronic condition and got my manager to refer me. They can pass on any recommended adjustments needed to your employer for as long as you need. Your doctor sounded really unhelpful tbh

Absolutely echo PPs, you need to put yourself and your baby first and have a break if you need one. Oh and I promise in a few weeks the nausea will be gone as quickly as it came and you will start to actually feel quite well again (for a while.. before the last trimester but that's a whole other story )

Get yourself signed off and don't feel an ounce of guilt.

Hey OP,

Good to hear you've been signed off again. I'd suggest requesting another GP if possible when you go back as this one seems a little insensitive. You will be off as long as you need to be and I hate the perception that women just want to take it easy as soon as they get pregnant.

Do what you need to for your health and your baby and forget everything else. Work will always find a way to replace you for a spell/sick/mat leave, but the health of you and your baby is not a laughing matter.

I hope things look up for you soon but please don't feel guilty x

I’m a dentist- if I am off work appointments have to be cancelled. So a lot of pressure to work no matter what.
My pregnancy was IVF after 2 losses, I have endometriosis also. I bled at 6 weeks and was signed off until 10. I bled at 23 weeks and was diagnosed with placenta praevia. I was signed off until I had an EMCS at 36 weeks.
Your baby is more important than work, just say to your Dr that you don’t feel able to concentrate due to the anxiety about bleeding. My Dr said she wouldn’t want me doing her teeth the state I was in, I was so anxious, and she was right!
Good luck

I’m a teacher and was signed off at 33 weeks with SPD. I felt really guilty about it but ultimately baby comes first and I need to be healthy and comfortable enough to deliver her into the world.

I had some early pregnancy bleeding.
All was fine, but the midwife said to me that should I go into work whilst not well (i am clinical staff NHS) if something happens and I make a mistake due to not being well, the hospital insurance won't cover me, but I will be held responsible for going in when not well. So that made my mind up as I was feeling very guilty.
I just had to ring in sick with severe round ligament pain.
I also had a month off due to mental health issues.
I agree with others, please get signed off it is not worth it being brave and struggling.

I am a teacher too so completely understand the guilt of being off. You need to put yourself and your miracle baby first. At the end of the day it's a job and you are replaceable by your school, no matter how much they think of you it's true.

I would see another gp next time. Also if you do go back can you hand over your SENCO role to someone else because this seems your biggest stress? It could be preparation for your MAT leave anyway. If not could you ask for another afternoon out of class for the SENCO stuff? Say the time given isn't enough. At my school the SENCO gets 2.5 days out of class, effectively a job share and we don't have that many SEN.

Thinking of you op, you must look after yourself and your child first before putting 30 other children first. They can get another supply teacher easily, you may not get another miracle as easily.