Scared/anxious about giving birth (second baby)

[Chocolateheaven123]

Just want to start off by saying that I didn't have a "bad" birth, and I know people have had quicker/worse but I still found it very overwhelming.

Basically, the start of my labour was fine:
Waters started leaking at 7.30pm, midwife was here within the hour to confirm and gave me another sweep, had a bath, had a bit of backache which turned into proper contractions by 10.30.

By 2,30am, I could barely cope with them so rung hospital who told me to go in to be assessed. By the time we got bags in car and at the birth centre, it was about 4am. Things really ramped up by then... strong contractions on top of each other, waters burst and just about managed to get into the pool.

DS was born at 5am with about 3 pushes in 5 minutes. It felt like I was being torn in half. I was checked as soon as I got to the hospital, and was already 6cm dilated. So I went from 6cm to birth in an hour.

I think I was in a state of shock as my blood pressure plummeted, I was bleeding after a 2nd degree year and fainting. I was eventually stitched up but it took me hours to move without passing out. And because my son was born so quickly, the theory was he didn't have a chance to expel fluid/mucus off his lungs, he developed a chest infection and he needed a few days I'm SCBU for his oxygen levels and antibiotics.

We recovered well and he's now a l thriving toddler. I'm now 6 months pregnant with a very much wanted and planned for baby. However, the closer I get to birth, the more nervous I'm getting. I'm literally losing sleep over it, and feel anxious/panicky at the thought of giving birth again. I'm scared because second births are normally quicker, and I have my little boy to consider.

I'm lucky that I have my parents close by and they can leave work straight away to collect my son. My partner is also only half an hour away. But I'm so scared of having another quick birth, tearing again, the pain, all of it.

I've spoken to two midwives (one just this week) and they have been wonderful and very reassuring but within a few days, I'm terrified again.

Is there anything I can do to help alleviate my fears? Was anyone else scared about giving birth? How did you deal with it? Any positive second/subsequent birth stories to share?

Im scared

Have you thought about getting a natal hypnotherapy cd? I found that really helped me when I was anxious with my first. I also had a fast second stage and my second birth was completely different btw!

Right there with you - I'm 32w and feel the same!!

I'm investigating a CSection, whilst it's a major operation, it's all within my control and the control element helps my anxiety.

My first labour was 17hrs of the scarey unknown.
Second less than 3 hours.
One ds was in less than 2 hours and didn't need medication, think you were just unlucky there.
Def no panic feeling after the first, still apprehensive but not fear!

Chariots I did hypnobirthing during my first pregnancy. I had visions of a relaxed, calm birth with the music wafting low in the background, definitely didn't happen I tried the CD again quite recently, it brought me back to the intensity of my son's birth and just left me very panicky

I was so stressed after my first birth that I cried at every midwife appointment with my second.
It was like the opposite. He practically fell out and I was like ' oh'
In fact it was lovely and I kind of enjoyed it in a ' I'm woman hear me roar' way.
In my friendship circle all of us had totally different, easier births the second time.

Hi I'm 34 weeks and feel exactly the same! Only difference was 2nd stage was prolonged and ended in forceps and PPH. I have a 6 year gap between the two thought that was enough time to be over it clearly not!

I have done online hypnobirthing- need to practice the techniques but still nowhere near 'looking forward to labour' as some people say. I told consultant I was considering requesting an ELCS. Hes referred me to a birth choices appointment with consultant midwife. Which I'm still waiting on with c.6 weeks to go!

I feel it would be a shame to have ELCS if labour could be a lot more calm/easier/quicker in my case. But then do I opt for epidural as soon as I get through the door or have I just then signed up for needing intervention again I don't know what to do either!!

Sorry I'm no help but you're not alone.