I think I may be pregnant and don’t know what to do?

[Belle567]

I have only been dating my boyfriend for 3 weeks so if I am then this is seriously bad timing but I am now 3 days late on my period. I know if I am that he won’t be ready for it and he doesn’t work at the moment. If this is the case though, I really do not think I could bring myself to have an abortion. The idea of it is already making me feel disgusting. I’m usually on time for my periods so I’m really worried! A month ago I was taking the combined pill but had to come off it urgently as I ended up at the hospital with some scary symptoms and I was passing out. Since coming off that I’ve been thinking about maybe the mini pill as it’s less hormones and less health risk. I’ve tried a range of methods. My partner has been using the pull out method recently, we’ve only used a condom once because he doesn’t like them. I know how stupid that is so please don’t lecture me as I am usually safe but my experience on the combined pill scared the life out of me. I’m going to take a test this afternoon and hope that it is in fact just a late period. My last period started on the 16th January and lasted about 4/5 days which is the usual amount of time it would. Any advice if I do turn out to pregnant? If not, any suggestions regarding contraception? When should you start worrying about a late period? Any other reasons it may not have happened yet?

I think you should take a pregnancy test. It’ll be accurate at this point. You may have a clearer view on things when you know what the reality is.

Cycles can be erratic (especially when changing contraception) even if they have been regular but of course the pull out method isn’t really a method of reliable contraception so the only way you’ll know is the test. Hope it is what you want it to be.

If you are pregnant and you’ve said you don’t want an abortion, please don’t feel pressurised in anyway to have one. There is support out there for you to talk through your situation.

Re contraception, would you consider a coil or implant?

Well sometimes periods are late. The pull out method isn’t a method of contraception and shouldn’t be used unless you’re really really ok with the consequences.

How do you feel about being a single parent? Can you afford it? Btw your boyfriend has equal responsibility and should have worn a condom, no excuse. This is both your fault.

Do a test, you don’t need an expensive one. Think about the pros and cons of having a baby (why doesn’t he work?). You barely know each other so not terminating will link you to him forever. Do you have family support?

You could talk to somewhere like BPAS about your options and thought and talk to your GP or practice nurse about contraception. And get yourself an STI check if you’ve been having unprotected sex with someone who you don’t really know.

First things first, take a test. At least then you'll know one way or another.

The pull out method is not contraception. And only condoms will protect you against STIs. Did you both have STI tests before you started sleeping together without condoms? If not, you need that now too.

If you are pregnant it is not solely your 'fault'. When he decided not to wear a condom he knew it was a possibility.

Don't allow yourself to be pressured into a termination if you don't want one. Fwiw I'm pro choice but couldn't have one either - I understand.

Well, men who won't use condoms can't really complain they're not ready for a baby...
Periods are late for all kinds of reasons, and coming off the pill is one of them. The periods you get on the pill are not actually periods at all, so your cycle can take a while to adjust.

Have you taken your test? I hope you get the result you want