Changing midwife

[CumbrianYellowBee89]

Does anyone have experience of requesting a new midwife? How did you go about it? Worried about any fall out from asking to change...

No but I'm barely going to seen mine from what she said. I saw her at 7 & 16 weeks and she said then I won't see her until 32 weeks as its not first baby?! How far are you? What are your reasons for wanting to change? I don't know but my practice only seems to have one midwife so might mean going to another surgery?

Hi @Justus22,

This is my first so I do see her a little more, I'm 25 weeks and have seen her twice now. But we've told her I have Aspergers so I'm very anxious and need a bit more guiding. But it's come to a head when she phoned me yesterday and told me (not asked) that she'd made an appointment for me at a different hospital to where I'm having all my scans etc, in the middle of the day in two weeks time. I said straight away I'm very sorry but I'm at work (and I'm already got time off for a scan later that week at the other hospital); and she just backed me into a corner and told me I have to attend. Made me feel like I was acting ungrateful because she'd organised it all. But she never asked me what I wanted or if I could even be available. If she's not listening now then what will she be like when I come to have my baby etc, she's made me feel scared.

Your are legally entitled to time off for a midwife appointment and if you need an appointment and they only have appointment space at another hospital there is not much you can do.

The NHS does not do appointments when is best for you they do them when they fit or when is best for a range of different patients. In our area community midwives do home visits for new mothers and babies in the afternoon.

I know I'm entitled to time off, but I already have a whole day off that week for another appointment. Plus I do also have a job to do and can't be off all the time. It's that she didn't even ask me if I would be available, just told me it was happening

I’m afraid that’s the way the NHS works for millions of people.

What is your other appointment? Do you live a long way from work because a full day is a long time for one appointment.

As a boss if they are a maternity appointment we just have to suck it up even if it is in the same week.
She obviously feels this will be of help to you.

Sorry to say OP but I think YABU. This happens often on NHS as they may not be able to fit you in any other time so you may have to attend somewhere else. My appointments were constantly changing places due to availability.

She didn’t back you into a corner. She organised you an appointment that you need to have for the health of you and / or your unborn child.

Also, she won’t be the midwife who delivers your baby.

@Jackshouse my other appointment is a scan and a consultant appointment and the hospital is 1hr 30 away from my house

@PotteringAlong but she didn't. She picked a new hospital to the one I'm already under, I have a consultant at my current hospital with all my care and scans booked there. She decided she was changing it to else where before I even spoke to my consultant. Didn't ask me about changing or attending and then booked an appointment I don't feel comfortable attending

Is the appointment for further support with your Aspergers? It could be that the consultant/specialist who can help you works at the new hospital, there might not be anyone available at the old hospital.

All of my maternity appointments were ‘dictated’ to me (for want of a better word) I don’t think the NHS have the resources to fit everyone in when it’s prefeable for the patient.

@YouLikeTheBadOnesToo no, if it was I'd make sure I attended. But this one is just because she wants me at the local hospital and not the specialist one my GP referred me to

I don't think you're being unreasonable as from what you've said there is no medical reason that you need to do this and you have the right to choose which hospital you are under (unless that's changed as I chose my hometown hospital when I lived an hour away with two hospitals closer.) Unless this is urgent tests/scans/treatments (some things need doing in a certain window) or like others have suggested to see someone to support you better, I can't see why you'd need the extra appointments or moving. If it's not been explained properly then I don't blame you for not wanting to be moved. I know its first time so they will see you more but unless you are high risk I was under the impression you only have 12 week & 20 week scan and midwife every 4 weeks from 16. I have one extra routine hospital visit for anti d injection as I have o negative blood. Other than this you may have appointments for vaccinations so without good reason you never usually get given appointments with 2 weeks notice nor do you need 2 in a week. My midwife has never told me or insisted when my appointment is, she's asked if the suggested would work, same with the team who booked my scan at previous one. I'd speak up if you think it'll affect your future visits with her. Where have you left it? Are you going yo all appointments? X

That is a bit random isn’t it CumbrianYellowBee89 Will this new hospital be where you deliver your baby? Does she maybe think you need to meet the consultant who’ll you’ll deal with during/after labour?

Also to add the NHS do send letters stating your appointment is on such a date/time but it also follows with "if this is not suitable please call the booking office to rearrange within 5 days." So NHS in my area certainly don't expect you to take it or leave it in my area unless it's emergency appointment of course in which case you would want to take it.

@YouLikeTheBadOnesToo she thinks she's doing best or her way is best. My consultant that the birth would be is at my current hospital as all planned and I'm happy. She wants it all changing as it's her preferred hospital and consultant (not mine). She think she knows best but she's not explaining she's just telling me

If that is the case then you need to speak up. Discuss your concerns with your consultant at your next appointment. At the end of the day it is your decision where you give birth, not your midwife's so you need to be firm with her as well.

Thank you all x

Change your midwife. This is about you. I have a similar situation in that I have a long term condition and am treated by a consultant at a hospital out of area. The local midwife I have isn’t fully familiar with the hospital or how it works but she is doing so well to find out and giving me the best advice she can. She knows that I’ve chosen to be treated where I can get specialist care and that is very important. I have been very lucky it seems, she is excellent. Unless I’m misunderstanding, it sounds like your midwife isn’t willing to entertain you being treated outside of her comfort zone and is pushing you back to the local hospital linked with her practice area. I wouldn’t even bother standing up to her, just ask for someone who understands your needs.

Thank you so much @FraggleRocking you've hit the nail exactly on the head there. I will be speaking to the midwives on Monday to sort a change

You should definitely ask about changing. You’re not comfortable, and the change in hospital seems to be only about her and not you. Hope everything goes well for you on Monday

Good luck on Monday! Hopefully it’s an easy fix and there is another midwife working in the area that you can see who is a bit more understanding and helpful.

The midwife can't just change you to a different hospital /consultant so I doubt that is what's going on. Is the appointment with the midwife? If so it will just be that she is based in the local hospital that day. She will have a list of people to see and obviously can't travel 1.5 hours to another hospital just for one patient. Does it really matter what room you are seen in?
I've had appointments at two locations and the appointments just get given to me. If I really can't make it I can rearrange the date but I don't get to choose the venue!
Go back to her and ask what the appointment is for and who with. Ask if you can delay the appointment for a week. But refusing to attend the local hospital is not going to be helpful. Surely it's much more convenient to go to the local hospital anyway, as long as it's the same person you are seeing?

@eightoclock that's not it at all! The local hospital isn't specialist, the other one is and that's why I'm booked there. I'm not going to see her at either she wants to change my consultant to the local one but I don't. She's made me an appointment I don't want without asking me.