Pregnant at 20

[hec98]

Recently found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant, due to my IUD not being in the right place.

Currently in my 2nd year at university (as is my partner).

Considering different options, just wondered if anybody who has been in this situation and either decided to proceed/terminate has any advice of things to consider?

Also, information on what sort of support is out there for full time students would be great (I've looked into it but hard to find a comprehensive list).

Thanks 😊

Hi,

I was in the same situation as you. Myself and my 'boyfriend' at the time were both second year students I was 20 going 21 and he was 21 going 22. I had fallen pregnant after a long cross over in my implant needing to be changed.

I was never for termination.. ever and never dreamt of going down that route but when it happened to me and I was put in a situation my views changed.

Having a baby wasn't right for us/me at the time. I was focused on achieving at uni and my mental state wasn't ready to carry and have a child.

Over two years on and we are now 30 weeks pregnant (planned) with our baby and couldn't be happier. It's a horrible situation and yes there's always a part of me wondering how my life would be now if I didn't make the choice I had but deciding what's important to you and the life you'd be giving the child is a big choice and shouldn't be taken if you're not ready or focused on something else.

Hope this helps xo

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant, gave birth at 20 and was in my first year of uni. I did consider not going through with the pregnancy and went to the first appointment for termination but changed my mind.

I switched to an Open University degree which meant I was able to complete my degree at home as didn't want to leave my 3 month old with anyone! It was incredibly hard, but there are childcare grants available for you and other benefits ect.
My uni were very understanding when I had time off with morning sickness ect and was lucky that I gave birth in June so was finished with uni. I was already be renting with my boyfriend who was working full time which also made it slightly easier as he took on the financial strain while I finished my degree

Was incredibly hard especially and family support was a huge help for me. Are you near family to help ? It is an incredibly hard position to be in and only you can know what will be the right choice for you and your partner.

Thanks to both of you so much for replying.

Honestly feel so stuck, I don't know what the best decision is to be honest.

I'm not near family no, and I guess I'm focused on other things too- but at the same time I'm not sure personally if I'd be able to deal with having a termination.

But I also recognise I shouldn't go through with it if it would be unfair on the child, such a hard decision, just don't know how it would work out.

I know I'd make it work if I go through with it, but I feel like it would be unfair on my partner and family to be honest (I know it's my decision but I think I would still feel guilt either way).

Sorry for rambling, thank you both for your replies 😘

@hec98 if you decide to go through with the pregnancy you'll make it work even if it'll be hard.

Looking back on my experience there's always a part of me wishing I never went through with a termination. I was fortunate to be able to conceive again.

If you have a supportive partner- and by partner I mean other half, best friend, mum/dad then you'll manage through it. There's also so much help out there for 'young' parents who are still in education.

You can always go back to uni, but having a family is a chance you may never get again depending on future health. There's no right decision but there's so much help out there if you decide to have a baby
Xx

You need to get to the doc so he can decide weather your IUD needs removing.

Thanks for your messages about your experience. It really is helpful. I think I'm leaning towards keeping it but I do worry if its financially viable, I don't want to bring a child into the world for it to have a bad life, but as you say I hope I could make it work, just obviously would require a massive step up.

And yes I've had the IUD out already, had to go to A&E for hours after finding out to check it wasn't ectopic etc (its not).