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Original poster

Boyfriend drinking

31 replies

mumm321 · 15/02/2019 16:28

Hi. I'm just coming in here to ask if I'm being unreasonable or what is wrong with me? My boyfriend has a drink every weekend and I've been asking him from I found out I was pregnant which was about 30 weeks ago to not have a drink one weekend and we could do something together on a Friday night instead of him drinking. It hasn't happened once! I'm fed up now with everything. He says there's 7 days in a week why can't we do something then. But it's not like that. He works Most days and weekdays are borin. I never have anything to look forward to. For example the weekend. We argue every single Friday of life about him drinking. I honestly don't think I'm asking for much. Can someone please help me out. Am I being a physco or what?

OP posts:
Jackshouse · 15/02/2019 16:30

Can’t you do something together on a Saturday night if he see his friends on a Friday? Do you ever go out with your friends?

Original poster
mumm321 · 15/02/2019 16:31

He works Saturdays and no I never go out with my friends. Haven't heard from my friends since I found out I was pregnant. They are all more interested in drinking aswell.

OP posts:
Original poster
mumm321 · 15/02/2019 16:32

It doesn't matter if he's working or not. He isn't no alcoholic or anything so I don't see why missing one weekend would do him any harm.

OP posts:
LovingLola · 15/02/2019 16:33

How long are you together?
Used you go drinking with him before you got pregnant?

Original poster
mumm321 · 15/02/2019 16:34

We have been together for 3 years and yes I went drinking with him before I was pregnant. He drinks every weekend in my house with his friends.

OP posts:
sillysmiles · 15/02/2019 16:36

Why haven't you seen your own friends since you got pregnant? In the earlier phase of you pregnancy you could still have met up with friends and driven home early when you felt that everyone was getting a little too drunk.
What was your social set up before you got pregnant?

LovingLola · 15/02/2019 16:36

Well hopefully once the baby arrives he will stop...

Original poster
mumm321 · 15/02/2019 16:38

I don't drive lol. And I don't care about not seein my friends. I have a few friends that call in and out only whenever they want something but that's the height of it. And he will not be drinking worth his friends around our newborn. Definitely not. If it bothers him that much not drinking he can leave and go else where and drink.

OP posts:
Thesearmsofmine · 15/02/2019 16:42

I think you would feel happier if you were meeting up with friend too. Do you work? Arrange a night out with workmates?

I don’t think you are unreasonable to want to do something for one night, to me it would be a warning sign about what’s to come because he can’t really be having his friends at your house drinking every weekend when you have a baby.

Whisky2014 · 15/02/2019 16:43

Oh god he definitely won't stop and you're gona be left stuck in house with your baby. Once baby arrives he will be "well, when do i get a break? I need a day off because i work". I can see it now.

He can't even manage 1 weekend without a drink Confused
How old are you both?

LovingLola · 15/02/2019 16:44

Is it only Friday nights that he drinks ?

Original poster
mumm321 · 15/02/2019 16:46

@LovingLola yes it's only a Friday night

OP posts:
sillysmiles · 15/02/2019 16:49

You are making him responsible for your social life and if he doesn't do what you want then you don't have a social life? You realise that is not a sustainable approach. You need more people that just your partner to be your social network.
Yes I think he should want to do stuff with you - but why not arrange something for a night out together? Is Friday night his only night that he doesn't work?

TBH it sounds as though you've dropped your friends now that you are pregnant and you expect him to do the same.

cja06 · 15/02/2019 16:50

If he only drinks on a Friday, why can't you do something another day. You say week days are boring but you still have Saturday and Sunday.

Are you sure you just don't want him going out or having a drink cause you can't or don't want to?

punishmepunisher · 15/02/2019 16:54

If he works all week and wants a drink one night a week I don't see the problem.

myrtleWilson · 15/02/2019 16:55

Does he work Saturday night or during the day? If he works Friday why don't you just say - I'll meet you after work on Friday at x restaurant and we can go for some food/or I'll meet you after work on Friday at x, and we can go to the cinema because I really want to watch "If Beale Street Could Talk"

Original poster
mumm321 · 15/02/2019 16:57

How am I making him responsible for my social life? I work 5 days week 9-5 I come home and I am knackered. I'm also 34 weeks pregnant. And also having problems in the pregnancy. I'm constantly stressed and asking him for one thing that he can't give me to. And I couldn't care less if I never seen my friends. I've never really been very close to my friends apart from one girl from work. And yes he works on a Saturday evening and Sunday. And I deffinetly haven't dropped my friends because I got pregnant. And I definitely don't expect my boyfriend to drop his friends either. He's a grown man he needs to realise that I'm stressed about our unborn baby as I'm having problems and mane do something with me for a change. I'm not asking for blood. I'm asking for one evening of his time. And he has agreed to no drinking when the baby comes along so I don't see why he can't do it now for one weekend .

OP posts:
Meandmetoo · 15/02/2019 16:57

You are asking quite a lot imo if you're asking him to stop altogether. But one time during the pregnancy? That's not too much to ask. Although, gently, you sound a bit immature....."weekdays are borin".

Do you live together?

Original poster
mumm321 · 15/02/2019 16:58

@punishmepunisher I work all week to so I do? Do I get a reward or a treat at the end of the week?

OP posts:
anniehm · 15/02/2019 17:00

You need to get the boundaries in place before the baby arrives - I know too many men who seem to think their social life can continue uninterrupted when the baby comes ! Explain you want some quality time before the birth together - but why can't it be a Thursday night (not too late?)

Original poster
mumm321 · 15/02/2019 17:01

Yes we do live together. And yes weekdays are boring for me. I go to work and come home and have to cook dinner and stuff and clean around the house and then I am so tierd i just want to go to bed. The only day he doesn't work is Friday.

OP posts:
Meandmetoo · 15/02/2019 17:01

Have a massive bar of chocolate? Have a half glass of wine (as long as it doesn't interact with the probs you are having)?

I now think a pp may be right that this is about you not being able to drink.

Original poster
mumm321 · 15/02/2019 17:03

@Meandmetoo no it isn't anything to do with me not being able to drink. I did drink before I was pregnant. But honestly it has nothing to do with me being jealous of not being able to drink. I could go years without a drink and it not bother me

OP posts:
Original poster
mumm321 · 15/02/2019 17:04

And also my daughter will b born by 36 weeks. I'm now 34+6. I've to go on Monday to get a date

OP posts:
Meandmetoo · 15/02/2019 17:06

So plan to go out on a Thursday? House will be tidy from day before as it's just the two of you, go for a meal so you don't have to cook. You'll be home for 10ish.

If he works 6 days that must be draining, about as draining as a pg woman working 5 days. Everyone's entitled to their own bit of 'me' time.

But again if you're only asking for one Friday I don't think that's much. But I can see his POV too.

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