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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

when to tell first born that there is a baby on the way?

14 replies

Nanoon · 04/07/2007 21:29

Hi I am 17 wks pregnant with my second child and my little boy is 2.10. DH and I are wondering when would be the best time to tell him that he is going ot have a little brother or sister so to hear other peoples experiences would be great.

DS is a bright little boy so may pick up on conersations and also quite physical so am already having to dodge his arms and legs when he is flying about.

6 months seems such a long for him to have to wait but on theother hand i want to give him plenty of time to get used to the idea.

Thanks

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daisybo · 04/07/2007 21:40

we told ds (he was 2.9 when dd was born) round about the time i started showing. 6 months is a hell of a long time to wait when you're only 2!
also have a look out for a book called 'there's a house inside my mummy' it's fab to explain to toddlers what's going to happen and it's written by the guy who does purple ronnie!

ChipButty · 04/07/2007 21:41

Leave it as long as you can as even a week is a long time when you are a toddler.

ChasingSquirrels · 04/07/2007 21:41

mine was probably a similarish gap - he was 3.4 when the baby was born. i told him at around 9 weeks, cos my ms is very bad, and i had to explain why.

ELR · 04/07/2007 21:43

dd was 2.4 when we told her then we took her to the 20week scan so she could see she was fine and liked looking at the pics

ChasingSquirrels · 04/07/2007 21:43

but i didn't say - we are having a baby, I said mummy is growing a baby in her tummy, and it is making me sick, but it is only as big as a pea, it will be a long time until it is born.
he certainly didn't ask when it was coming every day - i hadn't wanted to tell him for this very reason, but he (quite reasonably) wanted to know why i was spending so much time with my head down the loo.

MingMingtheWonderPet · 04/07/2007 21:45

Personally I would leave it a bit yet, iirc we told DS when i was about 23 weeks or so (just after the second scan). We thought it would seem more real to him once I was showing, and we didn't want him to have to wait too long!

agnesnitt · 04/07/2007 22:28

Told my daughter when I went for my twelve week scan. She's been involved, in her own way and at her own pace, every step of the way. She asks questions when she feels like it but I've not pushed it. This way I've managed to avoid it being a huge shock to her, and she has become quite used to the idea of a new baby in the house.

Agnes

CarGirl · 04/07/2007 22:31

I told my 3.2 year old a couple of weeks before hand, we were really low key about the whole thing. First day home from hospital sat eating dinner and she asked "whose is that baby Mummy" so I answer "I am" she says "No, mummy!" It was very funny, but it just goes to show that she hadn't noticed my HUGE tummy in all that time!

Pheebe · 05/07/2007 07:54

My DS is about the same age and we told him after the nf scan at about 14 weeks. Just mentioned in passing, no big deal. He's noticed my tum getting bigger and knows to be careful. I'm 24 weeks now and he came to the 20 wk scan and knows he's having a little brother. He mentions it occasionally, usually to sing to or cuddle the bump and we've explained that the baby has to grow bigger and will be coming after the summer. He seems happy with that, is in no rush and has bonded already in his own way. We figured this way it was just a natural progression and he didn't have the shock of hearing his home was going to be invaded and then there being a crying small person all within a few days.

Personally I couldn't wait to tell him

congrats on your pregnancy

lizziemun · 05/07/2007 08:56

We didn't want to tell dd (3yrs) untill we were much further along, but MIL told her after our 13 week scan.

We find she went in stages where she would ask about the baby, but we stopped talking about it in front of her, so she stopped talking about it.

Now i am 32wks and she can see the bump and it move she has started talking about "our" baby.

The last 2 night i have gone to check on her before i go to bed, she has had her muslins cloths up her pj top so she has a bump like me .

bozza · 05/07/2007 09:03

I think about mid pregnancy is my preference. But you may find it difficult because other people will talk to the child about the baby. My SIL told her 2yo at 5 weeks which I thought was a bit early. I haven't told my two yet and she is now about 10 weeks. But no doubt somebody will tell them.

amidaiwish · 05/07/2007 09:11

these books are nice as you can make up the story as appropriate for their age
here

DD1 was only 19m when DD2 was born, we just started talking about it a few weeks before she was born.

mum2george · 05/07/2007 10:22

Haven't read all the thread, sorry if I'm repeating. DS will be 3 & 3m when baby arrives. We waited until after the 20 week scan to tell him. Like you it was getting to the stage where he had to start being a bit more careful around mummy and people were talking about the baby in front of him, he's not daft after all.

janeinbarcelona · 05/07/2007 11:11

We told DD (3 years) at 12 weeks once we knew I didn't have to have an amnio and I had had a scan at which we heard a very strong heart beat (I was afraid to tell her earlier as I had had a miscarriage previously).

I know it's a long wait until December but like ChasingSquirrels I had been suffering with really bad ms and going to bed before her in the evening so I felt I wanted to explain things to her.

When I asked "do you know why mamma's tummy is getting bigger" she replied "because there's a baby inside"! She talks about the baby and kisses my tummy but hasn't once asked when it is coming.

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