Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Over 40 and pregnant with twins

38 replies

Hobbes39 · 14/02/2019 17:09

Hi - I'm just looking for people in the same boat and can't find a thread already...
I'm 41, 42 soon, and currently 7w pregnant with twins - after multiple rounds of IVF. I have a 5.5 year old DS (naturally conceived - if only we'd known how hard it would be to have a sibling!).
I'm obviously delighted, but utterly terrified of having additional risks - on top of my age - with this very much wanted pregnancy. I'm scared there will be something wrong with them and just scared for their safety....
Just wondering if anyone else wants to come along for the ride with me? I'm v conscious that this may all go wrong yet, but 🤞 these ones stick!
I haven't even got to the stage of the scary part of actually having 2 newborns at once - I just feel that's so far off still...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
kdd1980 · 14/02/2019 17:17

Not the exact same but I'm 40 next year and am currently 5 weeks pregnant with my 2nd. I already have an almost 4 year old and have had a hellish couple of years ttc no2 with 5 miscarriages along the way including a MMC which required surgery. I recently had a laparoscopy and they found and treated endo, on top of that I have PCOS and Ulcerative Colitis. Needless to say, I'm also terrified! Happy to keep you company as we both embark on this terrifying journey!

twinkledag · 14/02/2019 17:17

Hobbes! I was only thinking about you this morning and how I must check and see how you're doing.

No advice but over the moon for you 

SinkGirl · 14/02/2019 17:21

Congratulations! My surprise twins are 2 now, although I’m 36. Unfortunately twin pregnancies are physically demanding and the risk of complications is higher, but you will be much more closely monitored. I hope everything goes well for you.

Hobbes39 · 14/02/2019 17:33

Hi @kdd1980 - glad to have you join me - congratulations! I'm sorry you've had a hard journey too - along the way we have had 1 ectopic, 1 chemical and 2 MMC, and they diagnosed me with having some extent of endo too (as saw a endo cyst on my right ovary, not had a lap)... so our journeys sound similar...!
I assume at 5w you haven't had a scan yet? Will you had an early one?
@twinkledag - hi! And thank you! It means a lot when a familiar name gives some support - ❤️
@SinkGirl - thanks - I know of the risks to me, and I'm possibly being naive, but I'm not too worried about them - I'm more worried about the risks to the babies - I just so desperately want them to be healthy particularly as we have DS and if something is wrong, I worry my lovely DS will be end up being neglected 😞
When he wants a baby brother or sister (or both) almost as much as we do! I'm just worried, full stop! Confused

OP posts:
kdd1980 · 14/02/2019 17:36

@Hobbes39 oh dear you've really been through it too! Let's hope this time is the one for us! Amazing to have twins too! No no scan yet so who knows I could have two in there as well Grin. Went to the GP today and got the ball rolling there, they have put me on Asprin and Progesterone so fingers crossed that will help.

Seline · 14/02/2019 17:40

I had twins conceived at 23 and had a pregnancy from hell and a woman I know who's 39 has had two twin pregnancies with nowhere near as many issues as me. Age isn't the be all and end all! Good luck

twinkledag · 14/02/2019 17:47

Will be following this post and keeping fingers crossed ❤️

Rememberallball · 14/02/2019 18:11

Hi @Hobbes39, I’m jumping onboard this rollercoaster with you (well, it’s the nearest we’re going to get to a rollercoaster for a good while yet!!)

I’m 47 and 7w pregnant with twins. As you know my scan confirmed it yesterday and, like you, they are the result of IVF. DH has 2 adult children (one of whom is expecting their 3DC approx 2 weeks ahead of us). I had a miscarriage 12 years ago with a former partner and TFMR back in 1999 with my ExH.

Absolutely over the moon but, at the same time, terrified to be doing this at my age!! First midwives fe appointment is 13th March when I get back from my current holiday.

SinkGirl · 15/02/2019 11:27

I have a big group of twin Mum friends (I’d definitely recommend finding your local twin club for support) including one who had twins in her mid 40s.

Around half of us have at least one twin with some health issues / additional needs - twins are often premature which does make difficulties more likely, but it’s not inevitable. One friend’s twins were born very very early and are doing brilliantly. Mine were born at 35+1 and both have disabilities, one more than the other.

Keep as healthy as you can, take supplements especially vitamin D and B12. Twins can really deplete you of nutrients, I’m still struggling a couple of years on!

Rapha · 15/02/2019 15:36

Hi Op congratulations! I am pregnant with twins at 41 naturally conceived. There were three originally but I lost one at eight weeks . I am now 13 weeks and the other two are going ok . Can’t relax though ! I just want them here and well . I haven’t even thought about the new born part !!

Hobbes39 · 15/02/2019 16:13

Hi @Rememberallball - wow! Do your DHs kids know that you are pregnant? You must be delighted 
Will be good to have your company.
@SinkGirl - I've got to admit, what you have said frightens me - 50% have some sort of issue? Are they severe? I'm so scared of that being the case. I just worry so much for my DS and how it will impact him.
@Rapha - hi! Congratulations! Do you have multiples in your family? That must have been hard finding out you had lost one... I'm sorry for your loss Thanks. That's great you are now at 13 weeks tho and the other 2 are doing well! Do you have other DC or will these be your first? Do you know much about the risks to look out for? Are you being monitored more than usual? Good luck for the next few months x

OP posts:
CritterTamer · 15/02/2019 16:49

Hi ladies, I'll join you all. Recently turned 41 and currently just under 22 weeks with IVF twins (1 boy, 1 girl). Had a rough first trimester with OHSS and a rough start to second trimester with bleeding caused by a low lying placenta, but since 20 week scan showed it starting to move up all has been well and I'm finally starting to feel like a human being (albeit a whale - sized one!) again 😊

Rememberallball · 15/02/2019 17:02

Hi @Hobbes39; yes DH kids know about the pregnancy as do his parents and our siblings. A few of my friends know too as they were following our IVF journey.

I’m interested in seeing any data that can back up @SinkGirl’s assertion about 50% of twins having issues as I’ve never heard of that before and I worked in paediatric nursing for a long time. Yes, more twins are born prematurely which can increase risks but it’s not a given - in fact, friends of mine had 34+6 ivf twins at age 47 in December and, apart from a few days in scbu for monitoring their breathing and establishing feeding, they are perfectly healthy!!

aliceandkids77 · 15/02/2019 17:02

Hi doll! One of my best friends has three children- all of which she had after 43, and everything went perfectly!! I'm sure you'll be fine. congratulations! x

Rapha · 15/02/2019 17:41

Hey ! There are lots of us :) . These are Dc 4 and 5 for me OP . This is a second relationship and are my OH’s first two so very exciting! I am being scanned at 16 and 20 weeks then every week from 26 weeks to check for growth . I have not really been worried about the babies once they are here ! ( I agree the 50% seems high ) I just want to get through the pregnancy . I just had my nuchal fold test and measurements were normal but she said my age will more than likely make me high risk . I can’t have the Harmony test . I know tons of people who have had healthy babies in their 40’s , two at once is just a massive bonus isn’t it xxx

SinkGirl · 16/02/2019 11:56

Sorry, I wasn’t saying that 50% of twins have disabilities - just that in my group of twin Mum friends (about 12 of us), around half of us have at least one twin with some health issue or other. Mostly they’re not severe at all, I’m the only one that has both twins affected, although I’ve met a few other mums in a similar situation. The ones who made it to full term generally have very few difficulties / delays if any, so I suspect with most of us it’s down to prematurity more than anything, but it’s definitely important to make sure you’re as healthy as possible, taking supplements, regular monitoring of your blood pressure and urine when you’re further along etc, blood tests if you feel unwell. You’ll automatically be monitored more closely. One of my twins stopped moving during pregnancy but I had no idea as the other moved so much, and only went in as I felt unwell, so it’s really important to listen to your body and seek help if you feel something isn’t right. I’m sure you’ll be fine :) x

Hobbes39 · 16/02/2019 21:29

Hi @CritterTamer - good to see you here and glad to hear you are feeling more human! Have you had any advice specific to having twins from your midwife re delivery etc?
@Rememberallball - that's good to hear about your friend having twins quite early and then being all fine 😅.
@Rapha - I'm the same - not so worried about the babies once they actually arrive (although I probably should be! I know it will be exhausting) but I'm just so worried about them getting here healthy - I think is the combination of age and multiples that scares me, like both are risky by themselves, so combined risk just makes me nervous..!
@SinkGirl - thanks - I know you weren't saying that was an overall statistic, and I'm so sorry your babies have problems - how premature were they? Did you have problems during the pregnancy? Thanks for the advice and support x

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 17/02/2019 22:32

My boys weren’t very early - born at 35+1 - but one had IUGR so he was very small, he had a very rare endocrine condition that kept us in nicu for a couple of months and meant close monitoring for his first 18 months, he has some brain damage and his optic nerves didn’t fully develop. He and his twin both have ASD - it’s hard going sometimes but they are my absolute world and so incredibly lovely, better behaved than most two year olds (so far at least - the terrible twos have yet to reach us!).

I do remember the consultants talking to me about the increased risk of prematurity and developmental issues with twins, and the higher risk of maternal health problems, and I didn’t really listen to be honest. I don’t think I really grasped it at the time, and when they were in nicu I just got on with it, I didn’t know any different.

The important thing to remember is that the most likely scenario is that you and your twins will be perfectly healthy, and if things do come up then you will find the strength to cope with it. I have surprised myself by how much I can handle, I’m much more resilient than I thought I was before I had them.

My pregnancy was okay - I had awful fatigue and nausea, then felt great for a while until SPD kicked in. I was edging towards pre-eclampsia by the time I had my emergency section because one wasn’t moving. I did get seriously depleted of nutrients though, even a couple of years on and with treatment I’m still struggling to get back on track.

My friend had her twins at 27 weeks - they had a long hospital stay as you’d expect and one did need surgery early on but they’re 2 now and doing incredibly well. They’re both talking, hitting all their milestones, way further ahead than my two.

Most of the health issues my friends little ones have are mild - one had cataracts and has a mild visual impairment, one has seizures, a few have very mild CP, speech delay is more common in twins so we are around the age where a few are struggling with that but most are hitting their milestones as you’d expect. Two others besides mine have ASD.

I’m sure your little ones will be absolutely fine but believe me, if anything like this does happen you will cope - I never thought I’d be able to take care of and support twins with neurological disorders and other disabilities (my own health isn’t great) but I’m surviving and it’s all worth it.

Your DC will absolutely love them too - my friend had hers the other way round (twins followed by a singleton) and the relationship between the three of them is absolutely beautiful.

Twins can be so hard at times and people don’t really understand unless you’ve had them - seeking out other twin mums has probably saved my sanity, it’s so good to talk to people who understand.

Hobbes39 · 19/02/2019 22:41

Hi all - just wondering, those of you further on than me - when did you first start showing with twins?
I swear by the end of the evening I have a bump already - which is scary! It may just be bloating tho, but I was curious if you started showing earlier?
I was about 16w with my DS when it became much harder to hide and more like 19w before it was obv I was pregnant rather than just fat - trouser waistbands were tight at 12w, but not that anyone other than me would notice.. but I'm def feeling that way already and only 8w...!

OP posts:
CritterTamer · 19/02/2019 22:47

Hi Hobbes

By 12 weeks it was starting to be noticeable for me and DH, but easyvto hide with loose clothes. By 15-16 weeks people were starting to notice. I did have bloating earlier on though, very bad in the first 9-10 weeks due to OHSS.

Runningbutnotscared · 19/02/2019 23:19

@Hobbes39 thank you for posting - I’ve found my people!
I’m 38 and 13weeks pregnant with twins. Numbers 3 & 4 for me. By August I will have 4 children under 4 (and am panicking greatly about this).
They were a surprise! I thought I was ill and having a bad reaction to the new pill injection. Turns out they are not 100 % effective. Surprise!
I look very pregnant but that’s because I started eating three months ago and haven’t stopped.

I was going to run a few marathons this year and maybe an ultra next year. Now I’ll be lucky if I have enough energy to walk to the park.

@rapha why can’t you have the harmony test? The midwife took bloods at my 12week check ‘just to be on the safe side’ for, I assume, the NHS version of the harmony. Does your trust not offer that?

FantasticMrsfox78 · 03/03/2019 08:05

Hi All, I'll be nearly 41 when I have this baby (I'm 8 weeks), although not twins I too am really anxious about defects due to my age. I knew the odds increased with age but until I started googling last week I wasn't aware just how risky it was and quite frankly I was horrified. I don't have experience of twins but my best friend had boy/girl twins in her late 30's via ivf and were perfect. Another good friend is almost 43 and after 8 years of trying is having her girl/girl twins on Friday. She absolutely aced the pregnancy and no issues with the babies thus far. Good luck all you lovely ladies 👩‍👧‍👧💐 xx

Hobbes39 · 05/03/2019 09:35

Hi @Runningbutnotscared & @FantasticMrsfox78 - thanks for posting those positive stories Smile - it's good to hear good outcomes. Good luck to you too!
I'm now a day off 10w and have my first MW appointment today. I'm still scared that there's nothing alive in there, but by the end of the day I def have a bump I can't suck in - so something is growing - whether they / it are healthy or not, I have no idea... it's a long old wait til my NIPT scan next week. X

OP posts:
Hobbes39 · 14/03/2019 07:33

Hi everyone - how are we all doing?
Had my NIPT yesterday - scan was great - babies measuring 11+6 (my ivf dates would have me at 11w, so they are looking big..!) just have a nervous wait for the blood results now. Was so lovely to see them and can't believe how much they've grown! I def have a noticeable bump by the end of the day now - and even in the morning My Dh and I can see it! which is frightening me how massive I'm going to be later on - do twin mummies ever get their stomachs back?!
Anyway, hope everyone else is ok?
@CritterTamer - how far on are you now ?
Here's a lovely scan pic... Smile

Over 40 and pregnant with twins
OP posts:
CritterTamer · 14/03/2019 07:49

@Hobbes39 - glad everything is going well so far - how are you feeling?
I'll be 26 weeks this weekend and am absolutely huge and very uncomfirtable - midwife and scans say everything is bang in where it should be for a twin pregnancy though. I'm trying not to think about how enormous I'm going to be in another 10 weeks!

If it helps my two consistently measured 4 and 6 days ahead of the ivf dates throughout and so at my first NHS scan done at 14 + 2 they officially brought my due date forward by 4 days so you might get the same.

Are you finding out the sexes?