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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

How to get excited about pregnancy??

3 replies

mimitiggy · 14/02/2019 12:13

I see so many people on here who are TTC or pregnant and I wish I felt your excitement! I’m 10 weeks today and still nauseous all day every day.

I’m not going to terminate, I’m not looking for advice like that but if anyone would like to share any stories about their bumps or babies please do... my pregnancy so far has been hell - I sleep 11 hours (so this is obviously my first child 😉) then have a nap midday and am exhausted constantly!

I have arranged for some CBT (therapy) as I am obviously suffering from depression and I don’t want to take my usual medication just in case it causes any defects. But any days I’m not working I just lie in bed staring into space and honestly I can’t think of a single positive about being pregnant or having a baby.

Anyone that would like to help with any stories / photos / would also like to talk about feeling crappy, you would be helping out a fairly isolated and scared mum-to-be!

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Megan2018 · 14/02/2019 12:23

@mimitiggy

I'm not depressed, but neither am I excited. I am literally terrified.

I can't decide if I am more terrified of a miscarriage or needing a termination for medical reasons, or stillbirth, or actually becoming a parent.

I have not had many symptoms so feel ok in myself generally (bit sick, although I am tired now) - but my head is so messed up with anxiety.

I keep looking at parents with babies, or reading threads on here about velcro babies that can't be put down and thinking "I am never going to be able to do that".

I also keep looking at our house and thinking that is can't be real that there will be another person living here.

Have you had any scans yet? I am 9+4 with a private scan at 10+3 for NIPT testing. I hope that if this goes well I will actually start to feel some excitement. Right now it feels like a dream and I feel a bit "out of body" about it all tbh.

mimitiggy · 14/02/2019 12:28

@Megan2018
Thank you! I mean obv I am sorry you aren’t excited either but thank you for replying.

The fact that you are terrified of all possibilities suggests that it’s the unknown quality that scares you? Because chances are you will have a healthy baby (statistically) but you can’t control it so all the possible outcomes are lumped together. I met with a prenatal psychologist the other day and she suggested taking a few minutes to imagine the best possible outcome for a year from now. So for me it’s that I am utterly in love with my baby who is healthy and on some kind of sleeping pattern, and that me and my partner are still ok. It does actually help a little so I’ve been doing it daily. So like imagine the birth you want (which could be knocked out on drugs and having a c section) and the healthy baby in your arms.

I had a very early scan at 7 weeks because I had a relentless pain and they were scared it was ectopic - I saw a little blob with a strong heartbeat and felt... pretty much nothing. Good luck with your scan!

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purplemama1990 · 14/02/2019 12:36

I'm really sorry you're feeling that way, but I just wanted to share my experience with you. When I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks, I was definitely excited... but then when the nausea and exhaustion hit at 5 weeks, I felt AWFUL. I was sleeping around 12 hours every day, lost my appetite completely and was barely eating anything, couldn't cook or clean, didn't want to get up every morning, didn't want to even shower... if I wasn't at work, then I was at home in bed, either sleeping or just trying to sleep to forget about how awful I felt. I spent most of my days at work in the toilets dry heaving with nausea, and with an awful taste in my mouth all day long, and counting down the hours until I could get home to my bed. It's honestly the worst sickness I've ever experienced, both physically and mentally. I was in such a bad place and the nausea and tiredness didn't seem to be going anywhere by 12 weeks. I felt so down about everything, and even said to my husband a few times that I don't want to be pregnant anymore, and I meant it. I didn't understand why we had to go through this to have a baby, and I thought it's not worth it.

But somehow and slowly over the next few weeks I started feeling better a little bit at a time. The nausea calmed down until it disappeared finally, the bad taste comes and goes, I'm no where near as tired... I still sleep at least 9 hours every night, but at least I have some energy during the day and feel almost normal. I'm 18 weeks now, and just felt the baby kick for the first time a couple of days ago. It was the most amazing feeling in the world, feeling that little kick... it's real now that there is something growing inside me, and it isn't making me feel ill anymore! I'm excited about being pregnant now, and I can't wait for baby's arrival!

Somehow, I managed to get through that awful first trimester, and I just wanted you to know that you'll get through it too. It's understandable that it's difficult to feel excited when you're feeling that awful, and you know you're feeling awful because of the baby... I think more people feel like that than would admit it. I honestly didn't want to be pregnant anymore, as ungrateful as that sounds. It's ok to feel like that though. And I'm sure once you get through that first phase, and make it into the good parts of pregnancy, you'll start to feel excited about it.

For the moment, if you feel you need help and want to go to CBT, then you definitely should. Don't feel afraid to ask for help or to want to talk things through. I really hope you feel better soon, and just remember it's normal to feel like this, just not everyone admits it.

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