clexane

[emilou]

hi sorry i dont know where to begin i am 6 wks pregnant i have had 11 miscarriages the doctor has put me on 20mg of clexane once a day will it help me to stop have having miscarriages i dont know if i can go through it again i am due for a early pregnancy scan tomorrow and i am so worried my husband wont talk about it as he wont get his hopes up again i feel so alone and dont know where to turn sorry for rambling

Oh Emi

You poor hun, what a terrible waiting game.
The good news is the hcg has gone up a bit, I really hope it is the third option you listed.
Also you haven't had any bleeding so far, so that's also good IMO.

I had a suspected eptopic too, they thought they saw something in/on right tube, I had emegency op, but it was a miscarriage as i'd had bleeding already.

What is the furthest pg you have had? Have you been diagnosed with anything? I remember reading about a women who had 12 m/c and then was given some steriods and she then had successful pg, can't find the link anymore though.

Try and distract yourself till Monday, we are here to chat if you need us.

Emi-I don't want to be negative, but this is similar to what happenned to me in Feb, when the ovum didn't implant, but whilst your hcg is going up there is hop. I went for blood tests for a week, but at the last one mine had dropped so much they said I would m/c imminently, which I did that day. I felt a bit better inrespect that I knew that nothing could have helped that one and that although I had all of the hopes and dreams that youy get when you find out you are pg, it hadn't got to the stage of turning into a foetus. The other positive was that you are more fertile following m/c, my cycle went straight back to how it should be and I conceived the next cycle (am 20 weeks pg).
I hope your situation has a more positive outcome, I found the not knowing and waiting the worst bit.
Best wishes for you (sorry if what I said is too negative for you)

hi the longest i have gone is ten weeks they say i have sticky blood they have tried me on asprin fragmin and now clexane and cyclogest supp i feel like i am losing hope i wnat tomorrow to come but i dont if that makes sense, all i have done today is tidy my house has never been so clean i have bleached everything i have even done inside the kitchen cupboards. My husband says he doesn't want to try again as he cant stand the pain it causes. i keep having dreams of a baby crying but when i try to get to it it disappears. i'm to scared to cry incase i cant stop i just wish they would tell me one way or another i want this baby so bad. all i can say is that some one up there obviously doesnt like me to keep putting me through this pain.... sorry to go on you all proberly have your own promblems but congratulations josie on your preg.

Emilou-really feel for you, good luck for tomorrow

Hoping for some good news for you and dh today Emi.

Your dream sounds really terrible, I really feel for you, it can seem very, very unfair. Dh sounds like he is suffering too, mine was never open with me, and all i could do was cry and worry 24 hours a day. I would definitely go to a counsellor it would really help to get out all the pain and help you get back your strength.

I thought Sticky blood would be easy to treat, as it can be quite common, I hope you are getting the best care, i had to fight to get tests and treatment so I know how you can be fobbed off sometimes.

Take care

Oh Emilou ? I am so sorry that you are having to go through this I wish there was something we could do to help you. I really hope the test and results today are more positive. All I can add is that at my EPU, they refuse to do bloods because they say HCG levels are too unpredictable, they rely on scans alone. All your feelings are so natural and I recall having all those thoughts when I was in that horrible limbo before. Be kind to yourself hon and try to stay positive. Whatever happens, your body is pregnant and deserves your care. I had dreams constantly about keeping a baby on top of the wardrobe and not being able to reach it. They started around the time things went wrong and continued until a couple of weeks ago.

Uki?s right, the levels are up and you haven?t had any signs of a miscarriage, those are both positive.

Thinking of you today xx

hi well it is all bad news my levels have only gone up to 152 so it is ecoptic i have to go today to have the baby removed. i feel like i am killing it well i am it is alive. consultant has said my only hope is to ivf which we can not afford so i have got to accept that and realise that it is never going to happen.

husband thinks that him going to work today is going to help so i have got to do this all on my own, i want this baby so bad why do i have to kill it what sort of person am i.

sorry to go but this is the only place i feel like i can talk husband does not want to and i get the impression from his mother that i have let everyone down she does not seem to realise that i am suffering to she keeps going on about her easy pregnancies and how i must be doing something wrong.. if i am can someone please please tell me what i dont drink i dont smoke i dont do drugs i wont even take paracetamol when i am preg.. i dont understand any of it sorry to ramble thankyou for listening

Oh Emilou, I am so very, very sorry I am sending you huge hugs. Please don?t feel that you are killing it, neither the baby or you could survive this situation and it is a blessing that you know now and did not have to find out later when huge damage had been done. I am sure that doesn?t help your emotions but do not let self blame be one of them. I am sure you are hurting like hell right now and the IVF mountain seems huge but don?t give up, surely someone who has been through what you have is entitled to NHS assistance? I know nothing about it but I am sure someone will be along to discuss that side of things with you. I am sorry your DH won?t be with you I guess we all have to deal with things in different ways. I am furious at the lack of support from your MIL, how insensitive, cut her out, you don?t need people like that around you right now, you have to be your own best friend and treat yourself with kindness and respect. We are here to talk to you anytime but I would urge you to consider professional counselling too, you have to talk about this and not being able to do so with DH is going to make your recovery very hard. Do you have good friends that you trust who can support you hon? Thinking of you today, hope it isn?t too traumatic for you xxx

thank you mrsmcjnr apparently i am not entitled to ivf on the nhs because of the blood condition i have got which they call antiphoshilid antibody syndrone but they will do it privatly. right now i dont know what i am going to do i feel i should do the right thing by every body and just leave my husband so he can find someone else who can give him what he wants cause it is not me
i think i am going to get some time away by myself to work out what to do next.

but thank you so much for your support it means hell of a lot more than you can imagine.

My friends are linked to husbands as we all went to school together as we have been together since we was 13 so what ever i say will get back to husband i just feel time is running out at 34 yrs. sorry i am going on again well i better go and get it done as appoint is at 11.30

and thank you everyone

Have you read Lesley Regan?s book on Miscarriage? It was through reading that that I pinpointed my condition and got it diagnosed and treated for this pregnancy. There is a large section on your syndrome and I think it is one of her specialties ? where are you based? I think she does NHS work as well as private? As it is quite a rare thing, she might be interested in helping you ? long shot I know but maybe worth a shot. If you haven?t read the book, I?d be happy to send you my copy. There are some useful site references etc in it too.

Please do not say things like that about leaving your DH, you are just making yourself more hurt and upset just when you need to treat yourself well and rely on those around you. I imagine that you do feel a failure right now but you are not and I am sure that you are worth more to him then any baby you could have together. Time is a good thing, as is rest, it is huge what you have been through and you do need time to come to terms with it all. It must be hard to be in such a tight knit group ? I do feel for you, here anytime to chat or email me through the Contact Another Mumsnetter about if you?d prefer.

Thinking of you

Emilou super big [{{{{{hugs}}}}}} to you, I am in tears thinking about you, my dh sitting next to me feels bad too

I hope your own family have some comfort for you, and that you and dh grow together from this rather than apart. There are many couples who cannot have children or lose children and they can go on together and even become happy. It is not your fault at all, be kind to yourself.

Emilou-really feel for you-I don't understand why they say you aren't eligible, that seems really unfair, as friends have had treatment on the NHS for antiphosphillids, I know the ectopic makes things harder.
Please don't take it out on yourself, give yourself a little time out then maybe counselling will help (I know it did with me), might help your DH as well

they didnt do an op instead they gave me an injection which i did not want, as i have killed my baby. husband has got into strop as i wont take pain killers for the pain as why should i not feel the pain i am still not bleeding so my baby is dying a slow and painful death so i should suffer as i have killed my baby.

i am going away for a few days on my own to try and sort my head out husband not happy but i have to do it.

i cant believe i let them give me the injection or that i signed the consent form what sort of person am i

well thank you for listening.

Oh Emilou that injection was probably the best thing for you though, one of my friends had that done and she saved the tube (ectopic was there) and after the 3 month wait to try again she got pg immediately. So much better not to have an invasive procedure if it can be avoided.

Hon you must stop torturing yourself, you have to try to see the baby as a collection of cells that could not have gone any further ? I know you feel you are killing a baby but it couldn?t have become a baby hon and that was totally out with your control, you didn?t have a choice to make here. Very shortly it would have ruptured and could have died.

I am really worried about you, please don?t spend too much time away from the people who love you and please talk to someone, be it us here, a counsellor, anyone. Thinking of you at this awful time x

mrsmcjnr please do not worry about me you have to look after yourself and your bump.

Emilou-Please don't blame yourself-with the hcg levels as they were, it would not have continued, I think with this as with all m/cs, we try to find a reason to blame ourselves-it was just fate being extremely cruel.
With my first m/c I didn't have an erpc because I felt that I would not have hope about the little one becoming a miracle and surviving, even though I had seen on the scan that there was no chance, it didn't stop the inevitable happening. It's not killing the baby, it is stopping what has hapenned killing you as could happen with a tube ruptering.
Thinking of you