When to start maternity leave

[FionaJT]

Hi, just wanted some opinions/reassurance about this - I do a 9-5 office job in a fairly relaxed and supportive environment and am planning to work until 4 weeks before I'm due, which my midwife semmed to think was reasonable. Then last night I got a huge rant from my mother about how I had no idea what I was letting myself in for, and that I'm being selfish and irresponsible and risking mine and the baby's health. I'm on my own (as the father decised not to stick around!) my family are providing a lot of help and support and I know my mother is concerned for me, but now she's made me much more stressed and anxious and is making me doubt my own judgment. She's basically offered to pay me to finish 2 months before, which for a variety of reasons I don't want to do (I'm now 24 weeks).
Any thoughts on this - it's my first child so I'm totally at the mercy of my Mum's 'I've done it so I know what's right' attitude.
Thanks

Fiona

if you are in good health all through your pregnancy, and feel able to work, then go for it. I worked until 4 weeks before I was due and was waddling around a chemical site in hard hat and safety boots until the day I left!!

TBH I think I would have been bored out of my brains if I had left any earlier!

Hi Fiona - I worked up until 2 weeks before ds1 was born and 1 week before ds2 arrived. I felt fine, although tired, so carried on as long as poss as I wanted to have my paid maternity leave after the births.
I can see where your mum's coming from, but as long as you feel OK and you're not doing heavy lifting then there's absolutely no risk to you or your baby's health.

FionaJT - I worked till 2 weeks before my due date with my dd, and this time round I would like to work until 1 week before my due date. As long as you are fit and healthy in later pregnancy you will be fine taking 4 weeks off before you are due. Of course you never know what is going to happen, but if there are any health concerns for either you or the baby you can change your plans at the last minute and your employer is required to adapt.

You are not being selfish at all - personally I would have gone crazy sitting around any longer waiting for the baby to come.

4 weeks, both times.

In the US maternity leave begins at 38 weeks. There is no reason not to work up intil then if you're in an office environment.

Thanks for the reassurance - it's hard to keep things in perspective when my Mum is usually so helpful so I really appreciate some objective views

I left 2 weeks before baby was due because I wanted to maximise the paid maternity leave after the birth. I also have an office job and didn't find it a strain being at work. The worst thing was actually getting to work, but in the last week I given a parking space at work and so could drive (I'm in London and so usually catch the tube or bus). I certainly don't feel I risked my or my baby's health. As the others have said, though, it completely depends on how you are feeling. If you find you can't cope with being at work, you can change your mind nearer the date, or be signed off sick by your doctor. It must be a difficult situation with your mother, but I think leaving 4 weeks beforehand is more than enough.

as late as possible - take holiday before that. And remember you can be signed off sick usually up until about 5-6 weeks before your due date. You need to figure out how it works with maternity pay - you want to try and arrange to be on the most pay for the longest time.

I worked up to 36 weeks, then took holiday that I was due (it was June/July anyway), had the baby at 38 weeks and maternity leave started the same week the baby was born.

In that sort of work environment that should be absolutelty fine. I plan to finish around 35 weeks but I have two weeks holiday I have to take before maternity leave starts so I will start mat leave proper at 37 weeks. I forgot about the holiday so decided that I would have a week off extra as a bit of a bonus! But my job is physically quite hard work, 12 hour days on my feet for the vast majority of the time with some manual handling. But most other people seem to manage to 36 weeks here too. I think your mum might have a slightly old fashion view of things if you don't mind me saying, I think to finish so early was what happened many years ago. You should be fine. Something to bear in mind that someone told me too, you can always go earlier if you need to but you can't ask to stay longer!!

Agree with Flossam re leaving a bit earlier if you need to. I left a week earlier than originally planned (at 34 weeks instead of 35) because I really was not feeling well and TBH I did feel so much better once I'd left (although I was bored). But I find pg quite disabling and horrendous! Most other people I know worked later with no problems. I was in an office job BTW.

I am also trying to decide how to take off. I have decided to work for as long as possible (39 weeks) as I wasnt to maximise my time with the baby. I'm due at the end of Jan and so will get a couple of weeks rest over X-mas + NY. I figure that even if going to work just means showing my face and spending the day tidying up my computer (before surfing the net) it is preferable than sitting around at home waiting to drop and losing a few weeks with my baby2B.

3 weeks first time, 4 weeks second. I did negotiate working from home tho with my employer so for the last 4 weeks was only actually in the office for 3 days a week which made a big difference. It all depends how well you feel and whether you can take it easy when you're not at work, towards the end!

I finish this week and will be 36+2. Like you, I work in a supportive office environment. I think the difficult thing for a lot of women is the commute. I get a lift into work which has made all the difference, but I know that anyone with a long journey can find it a lot harder towards the end. Working from home (if possible) can also help, and, I would say, working in hot weather is harder but I think your timing is better than mine! Good luck!!

36 and a bit weeks had 2 weeks hol before starting mat leave so 38 and a bit DD arrived at 37+6 so was still on holiday

I had a 90 min commute into London and felt fine right up until I left. My mum was horrified I was working so late as they were told to stop work at 6 months. I think it's a generation thing as you get further into your pregnancy and having the baby you'll probably find your mum is shocked by a lot of things if she's like mine.

I worked until a week before my due date. I ended up being 10 days late so had more time on my hands than I expected. My maternity leave was more important to me once the baby was here iykwim. Anyway, I'd have just got bored at home and spent that week rewashing all her new clothes (!!) and making and freexing meals.

If your job is relaxing and supportive I think 4 weeks is hugely long to have off just to sit around at home, but that's just my opinion. I'd rather be at work and have longer at home with my baby.

1st - 6 weeks - dd1 was 2 weeks late, I was bored, bored, bored. My gp didn't think I'd get to 40 weeks!

2nd - planned to finish 2 weeks before, but had a fall and finished a week earlier to keep everyone else happy - ds was 1 week late. Again - bored!

3rd - planned and did finish 1 week before, dd2 arrived 1 day late. No time to get bored. Got to spend all of last summer in an air conditioned office instead of boiling at home.

As you've said you're on your own, so at least when you're at work, there'll always be someone around to keep an eye on you - tell your mum that your time at work is her time to get some rest before the fun really starts!

I went off 5 weeks before as I wanted "pure me time, sod everyone else time" before baby came. I do wish I had held out a couple of weeks more as I was very active until the day DS came (5 days late) and was getting bored.

All I can days is that your mum means well but you use your own body as a barometer so to speak - you will know what you feel capable of.

Keep coming here - there are some amazing, wonderful and wise people who will look out for you.

worked up until 36 and a bit weeks last time - although as I was a teacher and that was the summer holidays - I found it convenient to finish then. This time I finished at about 17 weeks but only cause we emigrated to aus and I am now at home looking after no1 whilst waiting for no2 to arrive in Nov. I felt fine last pregnancy - although I only had two weeks maternity leave as such as dd was born at 38 +2 weeks. Like some others - I think I would have been bored if I had finished any earlier.

I think you should do what you think is best... work up until 36 weeks if that is what you wish and you feel fine.

How has your pregnancy gone? Do you feel that you need time without the stresses of work to have some downtime and prepare, maybe immerse yourself in that whole last minute baby preparing shopping spree? If not, and as there's no guarantee that littl'un will appear on or even close to your due date, why waste that precious time with it when it comes. I was a first time mum with no DH or DP around and quite frankly I felt happier at work surrounded by supporting colleagues. I actually went into labour on my last day at work which I consider to be perfect timing! I had the entire maternity leave entitlement at home with baby instead of sitting on my own at home worrying.Some people need to prepare at home and get used to being away from the work environment. Only you know. Do what you feel is right for you and baby.

You can always stop work earlier if you want to. Tell your work you want to work up until you are 36 weeks and see how you feel. If you get to 35 weeks and you want to stop then you can. You can't do it the other way though...

I worked up to 34 weeks both times,and I had quite a demanding job (nurse). I wanted to have the time afterwards,and I also found it quite boring the first time sitting around waiting for ds to arrive,plus he was 10 days late! That said, the financial side of it was a definite consideration too. I'm 27 weeks pregnant with no3 and this time I'm finishing up in a couple of weeks as we aren't too stuck for the money and I am really looking forward to the rest .

it's up to you really, I stopped quite early, I think around 31 weeks first time and I'm stopping at 33 this time (but I've had quite a few holidays in the last month).

To be honest, I quite can't believe how people get bored, when working fulltime I used to find I never had enough time to do everything I wanted to do and maternity elave before baby was the time to do all those things, also I couldn't focus on work anymore, my mind had been taken over by baby completely. I also feared it would be early (she was 4 days late actually) and then I'd have no time to rest.

I just thought I'd offer you a different point of view, but if you feel fine and you see no reason to stop working earlier, just stick to your decision, ther's no health risks if you're job is not a physically demanding one!

Good luck

I went to work the 1st day I was in labour. I didn't relsie it was labour as my water didn't break and I thought I was just having braxton hicks.

I worked till 1pm and was in hosiptal by 5pm the following day.

I also went to the gym up until i was 8 months pregnant and went to center parcs on a cycling holiday at 8 months.

It depends on what you feel you can do. I was glad to be fit and active during my pregnancy and I think it helped with the labour and my recovery.

I planned to give up work 2 weekd before my EDD but I was so knackered I gave up 4 weeks before, as it happenned ds was 10 days late so it was nearly 6 weeks, and I was bored!!!!

What I did do though was use up 2 holiday days each week before the birth, so my last working weeks where only 3 days long as opposed to 5 days, and I had lovely long weekends!