Any single mums to be out there in S. London?

[Mscandylamb]

Hiya folks!

I created this thread because Im becoming increasingly aware how daunting and lonely being or becoming a single parent can be, so I'd like to hopefully talk and hopefully meet with other single mothers to be (im due 8th March) so got a few good weeks to go and I find at times I'm depressed because I dont have many friends if any... And family (which only consists of my mum and 2 brothers) I dont have much support because everyone is so busy with their own lives.. Well this is meant to be the happiest time of my life but im just worried about how being a single parent will effect me and my girl in the long run. I would love for any single mothers or mothers to be to reply to this post with your story, hopefully it can be the start of something new. Thanks all for reading, peace. Xx

Candy being a single mum is awesome, you know exactly where you stand from day one. You can plan your life and your daughter's life with no one sticking their oar in and annoying you. My children are adults now but if I were starting again I would say look for your local community centre and find out what is going on, there's bound to be all sorts of groups you can join. Ask your HV if she knows of any SP groups or even a local single mum that might like to hang out. Spring is coming so take your LO out with a book and a flask of tea and sit in playgrounds, you've had a read and some fresh air if no one talks to you and someone probably will.

Thighofrelief101, first of all thank you for your reply - I have weighed up the pros and cons of being a single mum but Its been hard so far, going to antenatal classes with no one beside you, whilst everyone else has someone supporting them. Also It will be hard for me to answer when my child gets to an age where shes asks who is my dad? Why dont I have a daddy? And that alone breaks my heart... My pregnancy was not planned thus the absent father but I hope at least I can meet a few other single parents like myself to exchange tips with and genuinely build a friendship with, it also doesn't help that I'm also a quiet person and find it hard to approach people.

Candy don't think so far ahead re your child's questions. They won't ask anything for about 3years re where's Daddy. Do you have a photo of him? I would simply be factual when they are very young ie who's Daddy? Frank. Where is he? Battersea.

Don't worry about the antenatal class embarrassment factor. For all they know your husband is incredibly rich and important and can't get time off. Is your mum going to be your birthing partner.

If i ever feel sad because life hasn't given me what i thought i would have i take an honest look around me. I can't see a single marriage i envy.

You are growing your own best friend and you will never be stuck for company again.

Your local council website will maybe have some interesting things in the leisure section re parent and baby groups.

Hi Candy,
Just stumbled upon your post, you must have given birth by now I imagine. I am a single mum to a 14 years old son and I understand your fears. I have been there but it gets alot better. Just checking in to see how you are doing...

Hi Candy, I am a single mum to be in South London! How are you getting on, I guess your little one must be almost three months now? I am not due till the end of November but if you'd like to chat feel free to PM me. I don't know any other single mums either and the dad is also not around. I hope you and the baby are doing well

Hi All,

I found out I was 21 weeks pregnant a week ago.... the father and I only dated for a month and have not been in touch since mid May. I told him (via text as he refused to see the importance to call that I had tried to relay) and he bluntly told me the only solution was to terminate. 21 weeks though. He has no idea what that would entail, what I am currently feeling physically, what I had to see on the screen when I went for an emergency scan to confirm and date the pregnancy. He has no idea that I have always wanted a child and have felt that dream getting further and further away for the last few years (I’m 37). Im terrified. I know in my heart I can’t go through with a termination but I can go through with this on my own. Doesn’t stop me feeling terrified and alone though! Cue the search that lead me to find this thread...

I live near Clapham Junction, so SW London.... due end of November. Looks like I’m doing this on my own...

Hi @Bufty82! We are in a very similar situation - and due pretty much the same time. I am sorry the guy you dated was so awful about it.

I also fell pregnant accidentally, in my case a one time thing, and the guy is not going to be involved, but like you I am 37 and while I briefly considered terminating I ultimately couldn't do it, I want a child and would not be able to forgive myself if I was not able to have one in future. And now he is already my baby. I know it is really scary though.

Do you have good support from friends and family? I have found that an enormous help. I'm sure it will take some time to get your head round it too as you've only just found out - I knew pretty early on so have had a while, there was definitely a time I was absolutely overwhelmed with terror at how I would cope financially and with childcare etc but bit by bit I have worked things out.

I hope you are ok and if you want to talk either on thread or PM I'd be very happy to.