This is my second pregnancy, and I'm finding myself far more fearful of labour than I ever was the first time round.
I really don't know that I have it in me. First time, I felt like I was in control, I could get myself in the zone, really shut down and focus. This entire pregnancy, I've struggled to do that (maybe because I now have a toddler?).
I just feel like last time it was a case of mind over matter, but I can already see myself becoming a bit of a state at the first hurdle.
First baby labour started Monday, I had him Thursday. Took from Monday to Wednesday to get to 8cm. I used hypnobirthing apps Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday morning at home, got to hospital 7.30am Wednesday at 5cm, started G&A,11am was 8cm, by mid afternoon nothing more happened and the decision was made to put me on the hormone drip along with epidural to get to 10cm. 8pm got to 10cm, epidural taken away as was due to start pushing at 9pm... wasn't allowed to push without a doctor present so had to hold it until one was available. Doctor finally came at 11pm Wednesday night, pushed from 11pm - 01.07.... delivered a back to back baby. 4 nights of no sleep and contractions.
Not a traumatic birth by any means I know (also not an ideal one I guess). I just don't know why I can't get in to that 'mind of matter' mindset, like I did before. I can't even concentrate on the hypnobirthing.
Someone tell me that when the tough gets going, I won't crumble and I'll just crack on and deal with it!