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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

37w I don’t want to do this anymore

24 replies

2ellenor2 · 04/02/2019 09:53

Hi everyone,
I’m 37 weeks today and I am really struggling physically and mentally. Throughout my pregnancy I have mostly been in bed due to depression, and I was very weak and unfit before hand, so now I have all this extra weight my muscles have not prepared for and I’m struggling to stand up and walk. I haven’t left the house in over a week because of this. I haven’t even been able to take the rubbish out because of this. I can’t get comfy at all, I can’t do basic things like keeping the house clean, the washing, sorting everything out for the baby (haven’t even packed my hospital bag) I’ve got endless amounts of appointments this week and I can’t face seeing anyone / going out. I also have severe anemia and haven’t taken my tablets because they make me feel ill (my own fault and I know I should be taking them) I just always forget about them. I’m also single. I just don’t know what to do anymore I obviously need to do the washing and take the rubbish out but it feels impossible to do. The washing up needs doing badly as well. I just don’t want to be pregnant anymore :( really struggling with my appearance too

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Butteredghost · 04/02/2019 09:56

Sorry you are feeling so rubbish. I know it's awful. Hang on in there. You've come so far, not long to go now.

Singlenotsingle · 04/02/2019 10:02

Oh dear, you've got yourself in a pickle, haven't you? Have you not got family or friends who could give you a hand? Have you got a HV who could make some suggestions? The problem is that your workload will double when the baby's here, and you won't be able to just stay in bed. Talk to your GP ffs!

CornGirl123 · 04/02/2019 10:04

Sorry to hear you’re not feeling well but you need to pull yourself together for the sake of your baby if not yourself. The baby could be arriving anytime now and you should not be bringing it home to a messy house where the bins haven’t been taken out for weeks and there’s piles of laundry everywhere. Once the baby is here, you will have no time or energy to do housework so sort it out while you still can. You also need to look after yourself so you can look after your child. Take the medication you’ve been told to take, go to your appointments so they can check everything is ok, make a nice environment for you and your child to live in and get the support you need to get into a better mental state.

foreverthe2ww2 · 04/02/2019 10:17

Hey,

im sorry that you are feeling so down, clearly by what you state you are in a bad way, .. it takes a lot to come on here and open up about where you are at with everything.

The first step is to call your doctors and maybe red them what you have written here, .. ask the reception for a doctor to call you back and state that it is a very important call as you are pregnant and concerned for your mental health, if you are straight to the point about it you can get help quickly .... forget about everything else for now because that can all be worked towards once you have the help you need in place .. small steps and one thing at a time. please make that call today after reading this and then please message here to say that you have done that, .. this is todays only goal and first step ok xx

Moonchild23 · 04/02/2019 10:22

Please don’t take any notice of the unhelpful comments saying ‘just pull yourself together’, I know it’s not as easy as that.
Definitely give your midwife or a health visitor a call and let them know how you feel. Try setting yourself a small goal for the day, whether that’s just go downstairs for a bit / have a shower.
Do you have a friend you can call to come over for a bit and help you with your hospital bag etc?

Marmaladehandbag · 04/02/2019 10:23

Sorry you are feeling like this. Pregnancy is bloody hard sometimes. You definitely need to sort the anaemia out as I think that is contributing. Take the tablets and try to deal with the sickness. It will be worth it for getting your energy back.

Is there any family that can help? You need to talk to someone and get help sorting your flat out ready for the baby. You will feel much better knowing that you have made a start, but I get that it is hard when you are physically struggling too.

I would also make the effort to go to your appointments and speak to your midwife about how you are feeling as you sound very down. You have time to change things, but you do need to take some action now as baby may come anytime in the next 5 weeks.

PippilottaLongstocking · 04/02/2019 10:29

For the iron issue I’d recommend liquid supplements instead of tablets, I can’t handle iron tablets at all but liquid is fine. A friend of mine is a single mum and gets help from homestart www.home-start.org.uk/ basically a woman comes over and helps with the kids and things like cooking/cleaning etc

Original poster

2ellenor2 · 04/02/2019 10:30

I have an appointment with the perinatal mental health team on Wednesday, it was meant to be weeks ago but the doctor was ill.
I don’t have any friends or family, I’m really isolated
I know I need to start taking iron but I usually take it for a few days then completely forget about it for weeks

OP posts:

motherrye · 04/02/2019 10:32

It was very brave of you post this on here and the realisation that your struggling is the first step so well done for doing that. PLEASE phone the doctors now and ask for a doctor, health visitor or midwife to phone you back urgently.

You can do this.

le42 · 04/02/2019 10:36

Hang in there, you’ve done an amazing job to get to 37 weeks carrying your beautiful baby. Could you maybe set yourself a goal each day, something small like Monday do washing up, Tuesday take rubbish out, Wednesday pack hospital bag.... break the jobs up so it doesn’t feel like a mountain to climb?

VimFuego101 · 04/02/2019 10:36

Please talk to your midwife so she can support you. Start by tackling the medication issue and asking her to find a version of the iron tablets that don't make you feel sick. That might help you feel a little better generally, to tackle the other things.

DannyWallace · 04/02/2019 10:43

Good for you for posting here OP. I can't even imagine how you're feeling at the minute.
I definitely agree with calling GP. Say you need to chat to someone but do not feel able to go in at present.
Hopefully your perinatal mental health apt will happen soon, but for now they can hopefully change your iron prescription.
Please keep posting here though, even if we can just keep chatting throughout the next few days that might help a bit.

Do you have any help when the baby is here?x

scaredofthecity · 04/02/2019 10:43

I have had two very difficult pregnancies and both times as soon as the baby was here I felt very different. I found looking after a newborn a doddle compared with being pregnant!
Yes pregnancy is fine for some, but for others it's a real struggle.

It's nearly over, your baby will be here soon. Being pregnant will be a distant memory.

You need to take your iron, it will make you feel so much better. As will being in a clean environment. Could you afford a cleaner to help you out for a bit? What about doing things in manageable chunks, 10 mins at a time? Or just in the advert breaks on telly?

SuziQ10 · 04/02/2019 10:45

Brave of you to post this.
I think you need some medical help urgently, as your feeling so low and are now due imminently.

You could ask for a GP home visit? I know these are reserved for serious cases where patients are housebound, but I think this includes you at this stage. You need some help. There is help out there, please contact GP to discuss your mental health and to discuss what you plan to do once baby arrives.

Mmmhmmm · 04/02/2019 10:47

There are pill reminder apps that can help remind you to take your tablets.

If things are really bad you might consider contacting the mental health crisis team.

Do you have any family nearby that can help you or are you able to afford a cleaner for a few weeks?

Kidneybean2016 · 04/02/2019 10:50

Try taking your iron tablets at different times. It triggers my acid reflux and I hate taking them too but I’ve found that taking them mid-morning or mid-afternoon is a better time for me. I only take one a day. It will help with the tiredness over time. Also just take things one step at a time. Match a job to something nice e.g. put some washing in and then watch your favourite TV program or read a book. Breaking it into smaller chunks may help. Hope you’re feeling better soon and remember there’s always a friendly ear here if you need one. Take care xx

Puggles123 · 04/02/2019 10:54

Please be honest at your appointment later this week, they are there to help and support you- but only can if they know you are struggling and how you are feeling. Iron tablets can be a bit trial and error as to what time of day is best to take them to avoid feeling poorly; I find first thing in the morning at least 30 mins before food works for me- I leave the packet by my phone as well overnight so I see them first thing and remember! Could you maybe try something like this, or set an alarm and label it so you know what it’s for? They should help with some of the physical challenges, and hopefully someone can support you with the rest.

foreverthe2ww2 · 04/02/2019 11:40

@2ellenor2 Ah thats great news that you have an appointment booked for this Wednesday, as mentioned above be as brutally honest as you can about how you feel and you will be supported with the next step. maybe grab a pad and pen and get writing, write anything - about how you feel maybe a start and useful for the midwife to look at plus its a form of expression and something to do. its good to look back on and maybe keep it going as a daily log so you can see your progression in how you are doing/feeling.

once you have had your appointment maybe you would like to update this post as a form of connecting with others and therefore not feeling so isolated (i totally relate with feeling isolated)

problems shared are problems halved. x

Original poster

2ellenor2 · 04/02/2019 11:53

@Puggles123 yes that’s when I find best to take them, but I’m prescribed them twice a day and I have a habit of putting food in my mouth as soon as I wake up.

I will update as when I can. I’ve just made something to eat which has made me feel a bit better

OP posts:

foreverthe2ww2 · 04/02/2019 12:20

Good xx

MiniMum97 · 04/02/2019 12:46

You sound depressed. Having Anaemia will not help this. Anaemia can also cause extreme fatigue and make you feel very weak. I am sorry to say that your Anaemia could get worse after the birth due to blood loss. Be aware that Anaemia can affect your milk production.

You need to start the tablets ASAP. Unfortunately they take a long time to work. If you really can't stomach them try some solgar gentle iron (you will need to take a lot of them if you are very anaemic). Compare the elemental iron content with the dose your GP has given you.

Take iron with some vitamin c (check what's safe in pregnancy but a glass of orange juice should do it if you can't take vitamin c supplements). Try to take iron on an empty stomach if you can as lots of things stop iron being absorbed.

Go to your appointments. You could also ask whether an iron infusion is an option for you as this will quickly raise your iron levels. Explained everything you have said above. Tell your doctors about your depression.

slappinthebass · 04/02/2019 13:58

Hang in there OP. I was going to suggest calling your midwife or making a GP appointment because it sounds like ante natal depression, but then I saw you already have an appointment for that on Wednesday.
Have you considered Spatone instead of iron tablets? Most people tolerate them more easily.

LucyEmx · 06/02/2019 08:45

Posting on here is the first step so it's good you have done this! Even if you talk on here it is something instead of feeling alone if you have no family or friends - I'm sorry to hear that ! I can relate to the depression side and it's seriously hard to 'snap out of' as others say to do! But it's literally the only thing that will help to just say right today I will . . . And take a few small steps. Have a shower and go for a little walk. Once your in make a start on your place.... take your time have tv on in the background take little breaks. Once your place is back on track you will feel loads better. Definitely go to your doctors appointments and have a plan in place for after the birth to help you continuing being down. Plan baby groups to attend. Nice trips out to look forward to once the baby is born ! You can do this

LucyEmx · 06/02/2019 08:51

Continuing you not feeling down *

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