7 weeks pregnant: I want my baby but I'm scared

[Ivasmktrr]

Hi everyone,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child at quite a young age (22, my partner is 21) and feeling very confused about what to do. We had talked it over and over decided to keep the baby as my initial response was that I'd be unable to go through with an abortion. My partner was less keen on this than me (I felt very positive for the first few weeks) and suggested that we considered an adoption as we are both currently studying full time and don't have a home together as of yet. However I felt that this wasn't an option for me either. But now at 7 weeks I am beginning to experience what I think might be the beginning of prenatal depression - I am constantly tearful and unable to focus and I feel less connected to the pregnancy than I did at first, which fills me with so much sadness. I am struggling with simple tasks like washing and eating and feel that I would be a terrible mother to this baby and that I wouldn't be able to provide him or her with any kind of a life. I know in my heart that I would love this child but my partner also suffers from severe depression and I fear that the pressures of birth and looking after a tiny baby would break us both and we would be unfit as parents.
However the idea of having an abortion fills me with dread as I know that what I want (perhaps selfishly) is to keep my baby.

I had a mc at 8 weeks in 2018 and fell pregnant again shortly after whilst using contraception as if my body just desperately wanted a baby. Would it be immoral to continue the pregnancy whilst feeling so down about it? And has anyone else experienced any kind of symptoms of depression early in pregnancy that made you feel like you just couldn't do it anymore?

I'm desperate for advice as my GP has not been great and has put a lot of pressure on me to make a decision.

Bella

Hey Bella, sorry to see you're going through such a tough time unfortunately you're the only one who can ultimately make the decision.

I'm also pregnant for the first time, although slightly different to you as I'm 25 and have a mortgage. I actually left my job just before I found out I was pregnant so that's been scary! Early on I had lots of thoughts about not being good enough for this baby/not loving this baby as much as I should. I spoke to my partner about abortion/adoption but deep down I knew it wasn't what I wanted.

I'm now 33+4 and still scared that I've made the right decision but that's just nerves! Ultimately I had every opportunity to choose another path and I chose to have my baby.

You have plenty of options, if you keep baby there is support out there. Go to citizens advice to find out more. You have until 24 weeks to have an abortion if you're in the uk so don't let your gp pressure you! You should make your first midwife appointment for around 8 weeks so speak to your midwife! And look into adoption, checking out your options isn't a bad thing!

Good luck to you x

Hi there,
I’m early on in my first pregnancy, 12 weeks and i’ve just turned 20. My partner is 21. I’m at University studying full-time whilst working part-time and my partner works full-time. But it can still be hard and stressful, mainly with money for us. My first trimester has been really hard, i’ve been throwing up every few days but I feel nauseous constantly. I’m also exhuasted, I’ve been sleeping a lot, too much if anything which has been causing me headaches. I’ve been struggling to clean or go into Uni. But now i’m 12 weeks i’m starting to feel more like myself, you’ll get there. We rent a house which makes the arrangements a lot easier but either way I couldn’t do this without my partners support.
Whatever you do is your choice, but I think you need to have a proper chat with your partner and explain that you need him.
Good luck, you can do this.