Baby isn't here and fed up of people commenting or pushing advice

[MissMoodyMoo]

I'm the youngest of my siblings. Oldest late 30s and myself being mid 20s. My family are constantly commenting that they can't believe I'm having a baby 😒 as if I'm a daft little girl in my teens! When in reality I have a professional job, bought house and in a long term relationship (but not married). I was the party girl out my siblings, loved going nights out socialising but most young people do? My mum really upset me by saying that she is really worried about how I will Cope and even said that I'll need all the help I can get when baby comes as I didn't take my nieces and nephews a lot over night etc and that it's going to be a shock. And I just think of course it's going to be a shock? Surely it's a culture shock for all new parents!?? I love my nieces and nephews to bits but when they were babies I was busy at uni and working and any free time I had I spent doing or going places with my partner. I also didn't have my own house so couldn't offer to take them over night often. 🙁 I understand I will always be the baby of the family but it's quite disheartening when people put me down it's also terrifying as then I question myself about motherhood and if I can do it. I'm due next month and now terrified

Don't be terrified, I'd had no experience of babies at all, never even changed a nappy and I did fine. You'll have the last laugh when you prove them all wrong.

I've had similar comments after a history of depression and anxiety. I've had family say things like 'how will she cope?' My family seem really surprised that I've gone the whole 9 months and sorted myself some CBT and haven't called them in tears. My Dad even told me that he kept expecting a hysterical phone call from me! I'm 29 and the baby was planned and it's very condescending.
I realise it's hard but I just intend on proving everyone wrong. I don't want to let anyone ruin this experience for me and trust my own abilities. I think concern often comes from a good place but it isn't always delivered in the most helpful way!

Unfortunately family are just that and they always see you under the light of what they want to see you :-/ just have to try and ignore and filter it out and focus on you and baby

Do people take their nieces and nephews over night?! Would never have even occurred to me.

You will be absolutely fine. You will figure it all out as you go along and in a matter of weeks you will be an expert on your baby and their needs.

I found the unhelpful advice continued once baby arrived, practice your 'smile and nod' or 'that's interesting' and ignore it all!

To be fair, we ALL need all the help we can get. Remember the saying 'it takes a village'? That's the spirit with which I would try to take that comment. We don't necessarily need the advice, but wouldn't it be fab if someone made us a meal, watched baby while you had a shower or hopped out for a coffee for half an hour? I'm sure we'd all appreciate that once baby arrives and has settled in.

We don't have to be martyrs and we don't have to do it all on our own. Just smile and think of the help you're willing to accept.

Im the youngest and very similar to you, was the party girl and travelled a lot in my late teens and 20s, living in a few different cities, e.t.c. My older sister got married at 22 and had 3 of her kids by the time she was 29. I didnt get married until I was 31 and last year had my first baby at 34. But I think a lot of my family still see me as the wild party girl/black sheep and I had similar comments about how will I cope etc, even had a few people saying they were surprised I was having or wanted kids?! Ive always wanted a family with the right person when the time was right! Some people have no filter! Though others dont mean to sound patronising and mean well.

I also had lots of advice/comments before and after baby was born about sleeping, routines, feeding, no one in my family ever breastfed and they all thought i was some kind of hippy for doing it and couldnt understand why I did it and I had some ignorant, hurtful comments about that particular area.

Yes it IS a culture shock for new parents but you WILL find your own way that works for you. Dont be terrified, its the best thing that will ever happen to you.And just grit your teeth and smile throughout all the unwelcome comments.