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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is anyone else terrified of giving birth?

17 replies

Wintersun · 02/07/2007 20:30

I am 25 weeks with dc2 and am petrified.
I had a bad experience the 1st time. To cut a long story short, the hospital got my notes mixed up with someone who came in at the same time but with false contractions. They thought I was making a big fuss about nothing and kept trying to send me home. I was totally ignored for hours and hours.

Anyway, I am getting really, really anxious now.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mummypigoink · 02/07/2007 20:35

both of my deliveries were really good, but I was much more scared the second time in case it wasn't as good as the first one (i had a water birth).

so i think it's normal to worry second time round cos you know what to expect and either want a good experience again, or are bothered at thought of it happening again. I'd be terrified in your position tbh (sorry if that doesn't help).

can you write somewhere in your notes about your previous experience so the midwives know your concerns and can make a better go of it this time? and can you have a chat with community mw and ask her for advice?

big hugs!!

PoshShinyNewTent · 02/07/2007 20:38

Wintersun, I'm sure that there will be lots of people along with all the right things to say soon. I just wanted to say that I had a medically unremarkable but difficult (for me) experience when I had my DD, and was terrified about going through it all again with DS; I wound myself into a real frenzy about it. Then, when it all started, I felt very calm, and it was a completely different experience. On a practical level, make sure that the staff are aware of your concerns and take them seriously! Will you have someone with you to support you? - Make sure that you agree in advance what you want them to do/say. Good luck; I'm sure that you'll be fine

whomovedmychocolate · 02/07/2007 20:39

I would ask to go through your notes from last time with a midwife at the birth unit, to allay your fears and put it to bed. I did this and it was enormously helpful.

Alternatively have a think about whether hypnobirthing might help you .

mummypigoink · 02/07/2007 20:39

PSNT ~ did I say the wrong thing

kittywits · 02/07/2007 20:41

Wintersun can you look into getting a doula? I think having that support would really be helpful to you. Perhaps lulumama will come along soon and explain things to you.

Beauregard · 02/07/2007 20:42

You have done it once ,you can do it again!
I was exactly the same when i was expecting dd2,i hated the experience of hospital with dd1 and really was dreading going again plus the 15/20mile journey to get there.I even had a few panic attacks about it.

Then i gave birth alone(except dp) on the bathroom floor
Bloody fabulous i was soooooooooo relieved !

lulumama · 02/07/2007 20:43

to say i have had 2 big glasses of wine, so will not be talking much sense

I will psot more tormoow,

definitely agree a 'doula is a good idea

and speaking to someone at Birth Crisis or Birth trauma assoc.

sorry yu had a horrible time first time

no reason that it wil be like that second time

lulumama · 02/07/2007 20:45

god, i am ashamed of my spellings!

i truly am sorry yuou had a bad time

from my own persoanl experience, i had a bad time first time, and an amazing , uplifting and life changing time the secodn time

I would also suggest doing some reading, that will empower you and remind you that birth is natural and physiological and can be done !

Ina May Gaskin

Sheila Kitzinger

Janet Balaskas

are all good places to start

if you live near me, i would be happy to help x

Original poster

Wintersun · 02/07/2007 20:49

Thanks for some good advice here.
I know in my head that of course I can do it again but I keep having panic attacks when I think about it.
I'll discuss this with the midwife and see what she says.
I think I'll look into a doula as I'm worried about childcare for ds1 anyway. I don't mind dh not being with me.
Will the midwife have info on doulas?

OP posts:

Mercy · 02/07/2007 20:50

Wintersun, I felt the same with my second.

I was totally ignored almost up until the last minute with dd (a combination of lack of staff and a refusal to believe that at first time mum could be in strong labour so quickly).

Anyway, a former midwife (dh's aunt actually!) told us to make sure dh did some of the talking and basically to act as go-between.

It worked! I was told to go home at one stage as my contractions had started at mid-day and then disappeared for 5 hours. dh insisted that we stayed (quoted Dr's order, which was true) and surprise, surprise I went into full bang on labour half an hour later.

A long-winded way of saying get your dh/p on board and clued up.

lulumama · 02/07/2007 20:51

unlikely,

best to look at the link i gave , which is for Doula UK, they have a find a doula service

www.nurturingbirth.co.uk train and place doulas nationwide

Mercy · 02/07/2007 20:51

ahem, or get a doula

I am so slow at typing sometimes!

mummypigoink · 02/07/2007 20:54

my local sure start have a doula project if you have anything similar nearby

lulumama · 02/07/2007 21:01

mummypig..what area you in>?

MrsScavo · 02/07/2007 21:05

As mentioned earlier.. try hypnobirthing. I did when I was pregnant with DS2. I was very scared, after DS1's difficult birth, and it helped temendously.

I highly reccomend it.

mummypigoink · 02/07/2007 21:07

www.newlanddoulas.org

here's a link to their web page

lulumama · 02/07/2007 21:19

thanks mummypig

was thinking of approaching surestart myslelf, so good to know these schemes are going on x

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