Anxiety pregnant after miscarriages

[CLSDoc]

I found out I was pregnant just under a week ago, following 2 early miscarriages/cp. I was spotting at 10dpo but think it was implantation bleeding. I've had my bloods done and hcg went from 8 (10dpo) to 27 (13dpo). This is still not enough to convince me. My progesterone is on the lower side at 29.74 at day 21, I'm not sure what it was at 10dpo but the result said minor abnormality. My GP doesn't seem interested in the progesterone level but I'm crippled with anxiety as I'm sure this is what caused the last 2 losses.

Hcg of 27 seems so low which is worrying me more.

I can't stop poas and it's making things worse because the line progresses one day then appears the same/slightly fainter the next.

I'm getting bloods again today (15dpo), but even if they've doubled again I don't think it will relieve any of this worry. They've also booked a scan for 6+4 if I manage to get that far.

I'm convinced I'll lose this one as well, and don't know how to shake the feeling of impending doom. I want progesterone suppositories but my GP just isn't interested in my concerns about it.

I feel like I'm going mad, and that I should be excited but it just feels like expecting the worse might soften the blow a bit when it does happen.

Just wanting some support and distraction please.

I was in the exactly the same boat a few months ago. Pregnant again after 2 miscarriages/cp (and a molar pg) and basically convinced it was all going to go wrong again.
I'm now 29 weeks along with an exceptionally wriggly baby.

I was given two pieces of "advice":

1. (From a consultant at a specialist miscarriage clinic 24 hours before my BFP) 'A lot of what we do here is guess work and witchcraft. We can't make any promises.' Which while it doesn't sound very positive it did give me peace of mind, as it reminded me that I couldn't control the outcome and it wasn't my fault if anything did go wrong.
2. 'You are pregnant now. & every pregnancy is different' a reminder from my best friend, that the outcome of one was not necessarily going to be the outcome of the other.

My advice just now would be to step away from the tests, repeating them doesn't help and to have a look for a counsellor that specialises in fertility/pregnancy loss, i saw someone for a few months after my 2nd loss and it helped immensely.

Sending massive hugs and I hope your scan goes well

Thank you @literategiraffe . Congratulations on your pregnancy! I so hope mine goes the same way! It's more my progesterone I'm freaking out about to be honest. There are too many stories of bad outcomes online and it's just so hard to not keep googling. My GP is well and truly sick of me now. I'll get my hcg back today and hopefully it'll have doubled and I can rest a bit easier.

I had several miscarriages before having my naturally conceived twins. Did you get a reason for your losses? I guessed mine was progesterone and went private to get cyclogest but miscarried again. It was a different iasue.

I had three miscarriages (two early and one missed) I then fell pregnant and had a healthy baby, her sister followed quite quickly afterwards. That anxiety never left me in my successful pregnancies, I didn't buy anything for my first til I got to about 38 weeks and convinced myself I was going to lose my second from the moment I found out...

Worrying and being anxious about it is very normal after everything you've been through but really it won't change the outcome. I found downloading some pregnancy meditations helpful, I found it relaxed me. There's one called "beautiful bump: hypnosis meditations for pregnancy" on Audible that was quite nice.
Try to relax and be positive, keep your stress levels down - I definitely know it's easier said than done. Hope you have a very healthy pregnancy and that your HCG results reassure you a little.

It's looking bad. HCG has slowed, but is still doubling. Was doubling every 38 hours, now every 48. Woke this morning and my breast are back to normal when they had been fuller. I'm devastated but keep thinking "oh well at least I expected it". Bloods again tomorrow but I'll be a nervous wreck by then and think the hpts will tell me all I need to know anyway.

GP has eventually agreed to speak to gynae about progesterone but I think it's too late now, which makes me so angry. Still, at least I have my recurrent miscarriage clinic appointment in March so I should get some answers there. I think I'll give the next cycle a miss.

Hi @CLSDoc - sorry you are having a rough time. I know the anxiety all to well - we have been TTC#2 for nearly 4 years now and I've had an ectopic, a CP and 2 Mmc - with the latter 3 being after IVF. We have unexplained secondary infertility. I am now 5w pregnant again after our last IVF round and I'm so scared this will go wrong again.
I don't want to give you false hope, but doubling every 48 hours is good I think. Wait and see for your next test, all is not lost yet.
One thing i think is worth sharing is that my IVF consultant doesn't prescribe progesterone after a BFP pregnancy test. He says there is no proof that progesterone supplementation is of any benefit to people who aren't actually diagnosed as low in progesterone normally other than making us pregnant people feel we are doing something. His explanation to me was that progesterone drops because a pregnancy isn't viable, not the other way round. I begged him for progesterone last cycle when I had my BFP and he agreed - I still had a MMC. I suspect without the progesterone it would have just been a MC rather than my body clinging on to it, but no way to know.
Good luck with your next bloods, hang in there. I know it feels like forever x

@Hobbes39 I think waking this morning to smaller boobs has sealed it for me. My progesterone is low for pregnancy I think so really wished they'd helped earlier. Just waiting for the bleeding now. I managed to get booked in with a counseller tomorrow so that should help how I'm feeling. And then bloods tomorrow should confirm my fears I expect.

I was told progesterone is low because of a non viable pregnancy rather than causes one too. I took progesterone in one pregnancy and also had a MMC. I had the tissue tested and my baby had a chromosomal abnormality. There was absolutely nothing I could've done. Hope you're okay OP x

My symptoms were all over the place at the beginning, I often woke up not 'feeling' pregnant.
HCG doubling in 48hrs is still good and the doubling is supposed to start to slow slightly from 6-7 weeks I think. I know it feels safer to expect the worst tho, I did the same!

I was seen at the recurrent mc clinic at St James and they were great, the consultant prescribed weekly HCG injections from the day I found out until 12 weeks instead of progesterone as he said that there was little evidence that additional progesterone would be beneficial in my case (deemed to be out of whack hormones due to polycystic ovaries). They then did early scans before discharging me at 12 weeks.

Fingers crossed for you, hang in there x

Just to echo what @Seline said - with my last MMC I had d&c - which meant they tested it and discovered a chromosomal problem - so like Seline there was nothing that could have been done. No amount of progesterone would have helped.
Also, I had a reassuringly high HCG level this time but so far my symptoms keep coming and going too. While your levels are still doubling there is still hope. X

Thanks everyone. I just can't stop crying. I'm not sleeping well and am terrified that it's happening again. I thought the 2ww was bad but this is horrific.

By far the second worst time in my life was during my miscarriages second only to when we thought DD wasn't going to survive. Take care OP it's hell.