Need to vent, cannot agree on a name!

[Htaylor182]

I just need to get someone elses perspective on this and whether I am being a bit hormonal or unreasonable.
Ever since we found out it was a boy I loved the name Reuben. OH didn't like it because its not manly enough and was looking at something like Zuess, Orion etc.
I have another daughter call Ava so like traditional ish names don't like anything to odd.
Anyway everyone has been sticking their opinions in, especially MIL and Co who have named it Jack?! She says Reuben is a disgusting name and reminds her of a killer when she was younger.. Yet Jack the ripper doesn't come to mind no?
Anyway this is stressing me out thinking that this poor child is going to have some ridiculous name so I said I will try and meet in the middle with OH about names, he doesn't like Reuben okay well we will try and find something else. He loves Oak/Oakley Forrest, or Forrest Oak/Oakley. Is he just on another planet? He's a tree surgeon, and expects that the baby will follow in the business so needs a tree themed name. No. Also our surname begins with G too close to Gump, like Forrest Gump. It's awful, I said he could pick a middle name whatever he wanted but no he wants to name it completely because my name choice is wrong and he hates it. I am literally at my wits end here, I've tried to compromise but he's coming up with ridiculous names, it's embarrassing. I'm on bed rest with a kidney infection so I'm thinking over it alot more and the more I think about it the more it winds me up! Am I just thinking to much into it and getting annoyed for no reason?! I just have a feeling he's gonna arrive and we still can't agree on a name

How about Rowan? that's a tree and not too far from Reuben.

Don't discuss it with anyone else especially your stupid mother in law.

Oakley is cute and increasingly popular but nyes Oakley Forrest is cruel and he'll get picked in.

Fwiw I adore Reuben

Your DPisso an idiot for thinking a name will somehow make his child more manly and no doubt give him a larger penis.

Get a name book or download from website. Tell DH he can go through and cross off any he doesn't like. You do the same on a Seperate list. No conferring. See if there's any ovealap.

This is why we haven't told family our (my) first choice...

We don't really agree on a name either. But honestly, she's coming out of MY body... she gets his last name, so I'm taking a bit more control of her first and middle names. It's not that I'm ignoring him (I'm not going with a name he's vetoed, maybe just not his favourite) and her middle name is going to be a family name (from his or mine).

Oh and he doesn't know I've put my foot down!! He's still trawling through name books and lists, which is great, because he might find something we both LOVE.

I agree with you that his name choices are a little out there.
Could you get him to download one of the baby name apps and go through and make a shortlist of say 20, then you do the same and see if there are any names on both lists?
DH and I had exactly the same problem - he likes quite modern 'edgy' names and I love names like Samuel and Thomas, which he thinks are boring. We couldn't find a compromise AT ALL so after giving birth I played the '70+ hour labour and episiotomy' card and got my first choice of name. Sadly I think that means he gets to name the next one though!

We've tried multiple books, 1000 boys names and honestly the 3 he liked were Zuess, Orion and Forrest. I don't mind Oakley if I had too but I'd have it as a middle name. May get him a dog then he can name that instead!

Hate reuben, i like Oak/oakley BUT i think it HAS to be a name you both really like,

He wants nature/tree inspired names } Here are some suggestions:
Ainsley: (Scottish) Hermitage wood or clearing
Alder: (German) Alder tree
Ash: Ash tree. Also associated with fire
Aspen: A poplar tree with heart-shaped leaves that quiver in the lightest breeze.
Aster: Greek word meaning "star"
Birk: Scottish for birch tree
Bryce: As in Bryce Canyon National Park
Bryn: Welsh for hill
Briar: For the sweetbriar flower
Clay, Clayton
Conall
& Heath
If none of those work for him tell him he won't get a say unless he comes up with something better than Forrest.
Good luck OP!!! :)

Can you imagine on sports day, run Forrest run! Oh my i feel so sorry for this baby. I'm just so tired of getting no where with him. And feeling so ill as well is not helping matters as just haven't got the energy to keep going over and over names when he's been my little reuben since 17 weeks. Weve scrolled through pages and pages of nature/tree related names none he likes, always comes back to Forrest. Oak is second choice, Oakley third however that is the village next to us so not ideal. He's going off that he's gonna take over the family arborist business but poor boy may want to do something not tree related! He's not even here yet. Just really fed up, I feel like everything sorted apart from that and I just am coming to the end now 4 weeks to go and feeling like why cannot he just meet in the middle, I said I'd give him free reign over the middle name. Guess we're both stubborn and unwilling to budge

I think I'd also be a bit that he's already planning on his sin being manly like him and taking over the famy business.
What happens if he wants to be a nurse instead? Or a ballet dancer.
Why not his daughter up a tree with a kick ass blade?

@SleepingStandingUp exactly what I said! It's just ridiculous, he's really annoying me about it. Poor thing isn't even here yet! Unfortunately my daughter does get pulled into it, but me being an over cautious mummy tries to keep her out of it 😂

@Htaylor182 this thread made me chuckle I have to say Can you imagine on sports day, run Forrest run!

I think Reuben is a lovely name, I really do and if he doesn't like that, then as suggested by app, Rowan is really nice too.

Yikes OP I’m with you, his name choices are awful! I’d have thought the family business would be reason enough to avoid all tree related names!

We downloaded an app on our phones for baby names that has the same set up as tinder. So it alerts you that you have matched a name if you both like it but not if one or none like it

If you do go with one of his choices which you've listed, please spell it Zeus not Zuess else it really will be very "out there"!

Good luck - I found that just saying "My favourite is X" worked well in the end!

I didn’t discuss the name with anyone but my dh even though we couldn’t agree at all.
Even after the birth we were squabbling ahaha. I felt better able to put my foot down after the pain mind you

Anyway my dh was like yours in the sense that he wanted to name a ds a ‘warrior’ name or a battle field name etc making his ds ‘manly’ whatever: we came to a neutral agreement that we would name the dc something that represented that somehow by meaning. In the end we had a girl and chose Matilda as we found it originated from the meaning might and power^^ and also ‘battle mighty’.
Maybe you could do a search at some ‘manly themed names’ and see what comes up that suits you rather than ending up with some strange name.
I’m with you OP, no need to put a dc through unnecessary pain of whyyy did your parents call you that.

Sorry don’t know how it all ended up in italics!

Well at least he's generally overbearing and not over bearing and totally misogynistic

How about Red? As in Giant Redwood?

Heath, Rowan are
Good Compromises if you like them. I agree with you Oakley is good as a
Middle name.
I think Reuben is a bit marmite so can understand he didn't like it, compromise is the way forward.
Ignore MIL my mum was my naming nightmare ... every day almost is 'strong names' and didn't hold back telling me she hated the name we chose for our DD and tried to get my family to back her up to get us to change it .... not a
Chance!

I'd fight the family business idea later but use it just now to veto tree names. People would laugh at Oak Forest, the tree surgeon. Round here we have Mr Young's antique shop and a choice between Dr Payne and Dr Love - everyone brings these two up when talking about daft names (and as surnames they had no choice).

Zeus?!

Can I just second the poster who said please, please, if it's going to be Zeus, spell it the conventional way. 😣

Did you post about this before? It seems very familiar!