Husband Panicking about money

[JCAC16]

Hi. I'm new to MN and posting. I'm 12 weeks pregnant with our first child. My dh seems a bit down lately, and all of a sudden hates his job, and is worried that he may be made redundant and then we will blast through our savings and then possibly lose the house.
I think the upcoming big change is worrying him, and maybe he feels like he has a lot on his shoulders (as he'll need to support us more while I'm on mat leave). I've tried reassuring him about his job, and how we'd survive if the worst was to happen.
We are both frugal anyway, have a small amount of savings, and have very supportive families that could help us out in a worst case scenario. I know it's scary and vulnerable having a baby, but don't know how to reassure him.
Has anyone else had this with their dp? Is it just part of becoming a parent? Any advice on how to make him feel better?

How hard for you. I do feel women very often carry the emotional burden at this time and it's a big adjustment for any relationship. But... it's also a mature and rational concern to want to make sure you're able to provide security and income for your new arrival. I don't know his job situation, obviously, but imagine the chance of losing his job isn't huge... these pressures always seem so immense in the moment but you will look back in five years when you have this brilliant, delightfully rambunctious and desperately beloved offspring and that will feel like the only thing that matters. Things can and will go wrong but you will get through it, and it will be worth it! xxx

It’s scary when you’re expecting your first-it’s all a bit unknown and you aren’t sure how much things are going to end up costing. Are you currently working?

I can relate to your partner! My hubby is chilled out about it but I’ve been freaking out about it even though he’s in a stable job and I’ll get maternity albeit it’s a part time job as I’m self employed too but depending on how labour goes, may need healing time etc. It was very unplanned for us so it’s all been a bit of a crazy rollercoaster ... I can empathise with your partner all you can do is communicate and try to maybe come up with a ‘worse scenario’ case and have a plan maybe that’ll put him at ease.

Unless his job is actually at risk right now could you look at taking out an insurance policy to cover against redundancy/sickness? Might make him feel a bit less panicked?

This is why I saved up to pay my 'share' whilst on mat leave. Whilst we are a team, financially supporting someone (and a new family) is a big responsibility and teamed with the emotions of having a baby and all the changes that brings its really stressful.

My DH was made redundant whilst on mat leave. Due to him only being in the job a short time he got very little redundancy pay. I think being an exhausted new parent didn't help his performance at work. DH felt he'd failed us. Thankfully he got a new job quickly but his confidence was really knocked.

Could you save much between now and when baby arrives?

Unless his work has announced redundancy then he can get out a policy it doesn't cover the first 3 months but they do back date it he also couldn't take a voluntary package.

Have a sit down with your finances and work out what you will need to have in savings and if there is anything you can cut back on starting now and put it in to savings e.g we would get a weekly takeaway without thinking about it so saved £80/month just cutting that out.

Also use Facebook Market place/nct nearly new sales etc its great for baby stuff (do not get a second hand car seat or mattress). We got a mama and papas changing chest of drawers for £20 that retails at £280 not a mark on it!

Sitting down with a clear plan will help also be honest with each other and others that you are saving so I reduced the amount I would spend on birthday presents still found something nice 🙂

Thanks for all the messages. We have always shared money/accounts when I earnt more, and now he that he does. We have enough savings to last around 4 months comfortably (more if we pause the mortgage for a couple months) if he lost his job, and by the time baby is born, this will be more. I've tried reassuring him, but maybe we should sit and write it down so that he can clearly see it.
His job isn't at risk at the moment, but there were a few rounds of redundancies when he first started, so I think he just feels insecure that it could happen again at some point, and with the baby, he's worrying.
I just think dh is overwhelmed with the change and responsibility and I don't know how to help, I hate seeing him be stressed (even though he tries to hide it and support me through my crazy hormones!).