How to clam my Baby Fever?

[Youcandothis365]

Hi lovely ladies!

I posted on here last year about this but I can’t find the thread. In short, I need some tips on how to cool my major baby fever.

Around April last year I really started to yearn for a baby; it was a crazy physical feeling. My DP wanted one last “grown up” holiday and booked for us to go to the Dominican Republic in November 2018. I was gutted as (1) it meant that we couldn’t start TTC away and (2) as there is a risk of Zika virus in the Dominican, we would have to wait 6 months after getting home to TTC.

We eventually agreed that we would go on holiday and, when we got home, we would have the blood tests for Zika. If we got the all clear, we would crack on. So basically I spent the majority of last year on countdown for TTC.

In October 2018, around a month before our holiday, my husband got made redundant from the job he has had for 18 years.

The last couple of months have been rubbish to say the least, but he now has a new job (which he starts in a couple of weeks). He says that, rather than spend money on bloodtests, we should wait until the end of May (which is the 6 month period the NHS suggest) to TTC. I know what he is saying is right (it will give him a couple of months to settle into the new job, it will give me some time to lose more weight and save some more money) however, all I can think about is babies!!! It is literally taking over all of my waking thoughts.

So, does anyone have any tips / suggestions how to calm my baby fever?

• how to calm baby fever, not clam!

How much does it cost for the blood tests?
Did you actually get bitten when you were in Dominican?
I would be very wary of trying before the recommended date, or without getting a blood test to ensure I was Zika-free.

I think perhaps just focusing on some things you'd like to do/achieve before you become pregnant. I knew that we'd be trying about 6 months before we started, so I made lots of plans for us - minibreaks, nights out with friends, tickets to things like the races, concerts. Mostly things that involve drinking as I knew I would really miss that social aspect of my life when I became pregnant.

Now that I am pregnant (and I am delighted to be, no question of a doubt) I'm missing all the things I'm not allowed. It must be psychological, but something about not being able to have/do it... I'm desperately craving sushi and G&Ts and even saunas... even though I could have used the sauna whenever I was at the gym and never bothered!! Now I'm wishing I could use it.

I would say to make a list of all the things you suspect you'll miss when you're pregnant/a mum, and just spend the next few months actively enjoying those things.

Just focus on enjoying your life before there is a bunch of stuff you can't do. You might feel really unwell in your first trimester, so even just enjoy feeling well every day and being able to go out and do stuff!

I'm even wearing so much more from my wardrobe because I know in a few weeks I won't be able to fit into my nice dresses. Everyone at work has mentioned I look smart, LOL! I'm just trying to get the wear out of things before they get packed away for a year.

Hope this helps xx

Also, remember when you are pregnant its a long time and not all of it is fun, and then you're a mum and your life is different FOREVER. Try not to wish away your life, you'll probably miss this period when its gone.

I was in Florida for the last 'grown up holiday' before ttc. There was a high zika warning there too. Conceived almost immediately upon returning home, and I asked my doctor, midwife and obstetrician (i was consultant led) about the zika threat and they all said it wasn't a concern at all, and that zika is only a threat if you are already pregnant, not if you conceive later. DD was born last year perfectly healthy 😊 Might be worth asking your GP or phoning the community midwife for advice?

@Bunnybaubles, I'm sorry if this goes contrary, but of course they would say that if you're already pregnant!! Freaking you out when it's a bit late accomplishes nothing...

Op- stick to advice from the cdc and international travel advice.

@Physicskate I agree, that's only my experience. However, I do believe if they thought there was a genuine risk they would have tested or monitored me, rather than tell me lies to stop me worrying? This came from my GP, my community midwife, and my high risk obstetrician who I was seeing because of a genetic condition.

I was high risk of getting gestational diabetes during that pregnancy too, they didnt ignore it for fear of freaking me out, they tested me straight away.

I suffered severe headaches for months, consultant referred me straight to nurology to make sure it was nothing to worry about. Turned out it was pregnancy migraines.

I had high blood pressure, (essential hypertension possibly linked to my genetic disorder) they immediately got cardiology involved and I had several tests and ultrasounds done to make sure there wouldn't be any complications later on that could affect me or my baby.

But anyway, as I said, that's only my experience, which is why I suggested speaking to a professional, because that might be the case, or it might not. Always best to check before taking someone's advice 😊

The thing with Zika though is that it’s not curable. If you were bitten and infected, Your baby would be at high risk of being born with severe life changing problems. It’s just not worth the risk.

Complications before or during pregnancy aren’t easy to deal with. You should spend this time doing everything you can to be as healthy as possible as you don’t know what lies ahead. You said you need to lose weight etc so focus on that - these months are yours to enjoy yourself before life is different forever.

I agree with yukka. There are a lot of unknowns with zika. The foetus is affected, but you, as a legal human, are mildly affected and there's nothing they can do either way. The only way of knowing how severely affected (or not) a foetus is by the virus is if there is obvious microcephaly on scams. Other effects won't be able to be determined until after birth.

Other complications from pregnancy are dealt with differently because there are generally treatment options (insulin, diet in the case of gestational diabetes). Additionally, the mother's health is treated as more important because a) foetuses have very very few legal rights and b) without a reasonably healthy mother, there is no foetus!

Just to address @Josico58 G&T comment. Have you tried M&S alcohol free premixed G&T? It's really rather good.

It's not worth the risk op. Either wait out the period of time or get the blood tests. However, in my view it is not really long to wait and you can use the time to focus on getting as fit/healthy/happy as possible ready for pregnancy.

Hi everyone.

Thank you for your replies. We are definitely going to wait the suggested period.

I'm going to take @Josico58 's advice and book some things in the diary so I have things to look forward to and (hopefully) make the time go quicker!

PBobs ooh thank you, I will check it out. I've been enjoying Sainsbury's Nosecco - it's not the same but makes me feel less left out!

You can have sushi if the fish has been previously frozen, which it has to be under EU law. Just keep an eye on your consumption of high-mercury fish like tuna. I ate a lot of sushi in my last pregnancy!