Am I being unreasonable????

[Oaklands]

My partner and I are expecting our first baby next month so naturally we've done a bit more shopping to prepare.

For the past 8 months I have been picking up bits and bobs from shops I've been in, sale rails etc.

It's worked out after all this time that I have brought everything with the view that my partner will buy a couple of the more expensive items (car seat and pram).

My partner has a very good job and brings home 4k a month. I was self employed and used what little I had to buy things.

My issue is... My partner wants to buy second hand. Whilst I understand this is what alot of people do, he doesn't need to do this. Just for his items I don't understand why he can't buy them new???

He comes from a background of buying things online and on eBay, and don't get me wrong I'm all for a bargain. I just would have thought, for a first child, and with his salary, is it so terrible of me not wanting another child's crumbs and snot on a pushchair/car seat???

I know this is first world problems 101 but I do find it incredibly fustrating. I've gone without things for myself to buy NEW stuff for my baby.

Also I know you should never buy a second hand car seat anyway.

I totally get it.

It feels like a massive first world problem but I'm just not a second hand fan, particularly for baby things. I feel like the going shopping and choosing things is all part of the experience of becoming a mum for the first time.

Fortunately my DH is the same as me so I'm not sure what you could say to yours :( as long as you make sure he knows how much it upsets you

Oh! I would definitely put your foot down on things that are made with fabric like pushchairs etc. Tell him you're concerned about the potential for germs if a child has ever been sick or anything on the item, it could be harvesting all kinds of bacteria. Get that guilt trip going ;)

He should but them, you need to tell him what you’ve just typed

You can find some great bargains for second hand upper luxury prams. They wouldn't have crumbs on them either, if they have been refurbished and cleaned with care.

I wouldn't get a secondhand car seat though.

Personally I would buy new OP if you can afford to. Unless you magically find abarely used second hand items.
IME the clasps and mechanisms always end up breaking at some point (on pretty much every pram/buggy on earth), so the more ‘used’ the pram is the less time you’ll have before you’re swearing your head off trying to collapse the bloody thing / put the break on / change the seat position etc.
Our buggy (new) was absolutely brilliant but we did give it an absolute hammering. After two kids it just gave up and had to be tipped.

And car seats are so gross. Kids vomit in cars (at least ours did. Constantly), throw food all over the place and inevitably will have a few nappy explosions. They’re not that expensive to buy new anyway - we got a brilliant deal from John Lewis I remember.

Totally get where your OH is coming from though. On the face of it, it’s a practical and economical decision to buy second hand at a very expensive point on your lives!!

I've just bought a second hand Stokke Tripp Trapp with all the kit and kaboodle for 100 pounds. But I wouldn't buy car seat, pram etc second hand as I can afford that stuff. I wouldn't ever pay full price for a Stokke TT though - hence the second hand.

I think for a first baby I'd definitely buy new if you can afford it.
You're not supposed to buy second hand car seats in case they've been involved in an accident.

Never buy a second hand carseat. It isn't safe.

As for the rest, I can't see your problem. We bought everything second hand. We could have afforded to buy it all new, we have a similar income to you. I just don't see the point and feel it's very wasteful.

Babies are expensive and buying everything new is a huge waste of money. You could easily spend all your disposal income on baby paraphinalia. Wouldn’t you rather put that into a savings account or use it for a holiday rather than spend thousands of pounds on stuff you’ll use for only a few months.

Buy car seat and pram new, Ikea antilop, and most other things are fine second hand imo. But of course it’s your choice what you do, but you’ll need to start working on some common ground with OH.