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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Anyone have any issues this their husbands towards the end of pregnancy

6 replies

MissMoodyMoo · 23/01/2019 23:24

I could scream!!! Bit of a back round story. Basically it's our first baby in our late 20s. We have both enjoyed being quite wild over the years and like a night out. Obviously for me that has stopped due to being pregnant. I've been very open minded about not taking my other halfs freedom away and understand it's completely different for him. He just can't say no to a night out 😐😐 he had 4 Christmas nights out and 3 of them stayed out all night at his friends as I can't be bothered with him when I'm sober/hormonal and he's drunk. He also got very drunk on Christmas day but what can you say it's Christmas I suppose it's "allowed" and for new year we arranged to have our group of friends over to bring in the bells as I wasn't feeling up to going out!! And surprise surprise he got so wasted I spent most of the night looking like a controlling cow taking drinks out of his hand whilst he was slumped on the couch which was mortifying as no one else was even that drunk 😡😡 so anyway before new years we had agreed that as I'm close to my due date (end of feb) and have had complications that he won't be drinking just incase something happens as I need to have an elective section and the last thing i want is to be rushed in for and emergency one and him be out partying somewhere!!! Anyway his best friend (who is in his 40s single and no children) keeps making digs at him asking if "I'll let him have a drink or go out with the boys" which makes me fuming! Like how disrespectful!!! Now he's decided that he's off for another night spent away drinking and watching the football whilst I'm left in the house myself. And I know I'm probably very needy just now but he's making out as if he's hard done by because he's not had time to let steam off since new year etc and that I'm a joke and controlling. I totally understand he has a very stressful job and works over 50hrs a week but I just don't think he realises we are actually having a BABY!!! He can't just piss off for a full night and most of the next day to get steaming with his friends whenever he feels like it! I'm starting to think he has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol 😭 I'm sat here in bed crying probably being a bit OTT over everything and i just can't understand why he can't sacrifice one thing! I've sacrificed my physical and mental health during this pregnancy not to mention my career as I've had to take sick leave since 27 weeks due to being so poorly and terrible pregnancy complications 😭 I think he just thinks I sit in all day doing nothing and moaning!

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oinkoinksnort · 23/01/2019 23:29

Really feel for you OP, sounds like he's behaving irresponsibly with no regard for your feelings.

27 weeks here, both DH and I are pretty sociable beings and both love a drink probably more than most.
I'm totally fine with him going out but we have an agreement and understanding that in this last trimester coming up, he doesn't drink if it's just me and him alone so that he is able to drive me to hospital should needs be. If he wants to have a night out without me, he checks I'm feeling okay and that DM or MIL are available should anything happen. He's probably more conscious of this stuff than I am...

AornisHades · 23/01/2019 23:35

He is not going to suddenly change. How many weeks are you? First of all you need a plan B because you can't rely on him. Have you got one?
If he's drunk in a corner when you have the baby then you need to consider how you want to live with him and a newborn.

MissMoodyMoo · 23/01/2019 23:40

He doesn't drink in the house he's more of a social drinker and enjoys a night out with the lads which when he was younger would be every weekend or the occasional night after uni. I just don't think he realises how much our lives are changing and obviously for me it's changed much sooner that it has him but he needs to be able to say no to a night out or not think of distressing after a shit week at work with sitting in the pub watching the football with a pint 😓 none of my family drive apart from me and I'm not close with my dad so if I were to go into labour or have an emergency I'd have to either drive myself or phone a taxi or ambulance! I just think he's being really selfish! Which is totally out of character for him. He's normally the most loving sweetest respectful man I've ever met!...but when it comes to a night out he's an arse

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AornisHades · 24/01/2019 00:08

So he needs to spend some time phoning around to find a taxi firm who will take a woman in labour.
Can you take him to a midwife's appointment for them to lay down the law?
It does depend on how close to term you are but DH was certainly sober (not that he got drunk routinely) and contactable from 35 weeks.

Blabbermouth93 · 24/01/2019 09:50

My dp has acted like this all the way through this pregnancy its my 4th baby and first daughter you would think he's excited but nope been left to every scan hospital appointment and midwife on my own.

Even yesterday i thought i had lost her i had to drive myself to my mums hysterical for my dad to take me up well he sat in and played on his computer I've just had a discussion whether he is coming to the birth he doesn't know yet probably not was his answer so not expecting anything new.

I am now planning for a getaway when i am able to do so i have had no support during this pregnancy and that is something I'm not willing to put up with.

MissMoodyMoo · 24/01/2019 12:05

He's been so excited and in all other aspects has been amazing, it was actually him that urged me to stop working so early as it was putting both me and baby at risk. We even bought a bigger house around 12 weeks pregnant so he's been going to work all week and decorating etc then having a blow out at the weekends 😕 which I've been fine with buy I'm 34 weeks now with pregnancy complications and the consultant has said to be prepared now!. So last night after his tempertantrum I basically just told him I'm not his mother so I can't tell him what he can and can't do and if he thinks it's appropriate to go out drinking and staying out then that's up to him. He woke me up this morning asking if I still loved him lol and rubbing my back apologising saying that he'll just watch the football in the house with a Chinese instead hopefully realised he's going to be a daddy and it's not appropriate now.

I'm just so worried about when he does drink! It's never just a few pints then home. He binge drinks to the point he's so drunk he can't walk or talk and has to stay at a friends because I'll not let him home! I use to be the same but I'm a mum now going out every weekend on the shots is a thing of the past!!. Im from a very working class family so have always had to work hard for my money and nights out or holidays. Where as he is probably high middle class and although he works really hard with a hideously stressful job 50hrs a week his life style has always been very glamerous with lots of social events and nights out surrounded by alcohol. And I just think his relationship with the drink is unhealthy. It's never one it's 10! But he doesn't drink in the house or during the week he's just a weekend binge drinker

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