Tokophobia & Those who considered a C-sec Or had one?

[CoraBlueWater]

Hi ladies,

No hate on this thread please if you can help it, I'd just like some honest opinions. I can't sleep and I'd just like some honest answers.

For those who have had an Elective Caesarean, do you regret it now or are you still happy with your choice? Could you elaborate in your answer if possible.

And for those who were considering and Elective Caesarean and had a vaginal birth. Are you still happy with that or would you still have preferred a C-section after experiencing your vaginal birth?

Thank you

I didn't have tokophobia as in diagnosed by a psychiatrist, but I had an extreme fear of giving birth. After growing up hearing my mums horror birth stories, and reading all the stories here on MN, I just felt I couldn't risk it. I had an elective cs and it was great. It was really calm and relaxed, and it was over so quickly. Wasn't in much pain afterwards and recovered quickly.

I definitely don't regret it. I joined a mothers group and heard all about their weeks of pre labour contractions, start stop labours, sleepless nights, hours/days in labour, terrible injuries and accidental home births. I feel like I got off really lightly. Also many labours ended in an emergency cs - so a really high chance you could end up with one either way.

Definitely would have another if we have another baby.

My tokaphobia was also undiagnosed but I had PTSD following my first labour.

For my second labour I opted for a c section. My first labour was long and horrific.

DD was born 5 days ago by c section. She was breech so I didn't really have a choice in the end. However, I went in to labour before my section date and it was progressing very quickly. I ended up with an emergency section, though it was lovely and relaxed.

I was talking to DH about it yesterday and I think, had she been the correct presentation, I'd have still gone through with the section but would have always wondered "what if" as it was a very very different feeling labour and the support from staff was very different too. As it was breech, but progressing so quickly I was given the option of vaginal delivery as she already had a foot out. I chose to continue with the section and on balance feel it was the right decision. My recovery has been significantly better than anticipated. And significantly easier (mentally and physically) than last time.

I think I might have had tokaphobia but didn’t realise it was a thing. With dd I was petrified of giving birth, to the point I would be crying reading any of the pg books on birth and was in complete denial that I could manage it. I couldn’t even think about watching programmes like one born every minute as it would make my fears so much worse and really affect me. I had a failed induction. I genuinely think my body was so scared of giving birth it refused to comply and wouldn’t do it. I ended out with a csection because of the failed induction, I have no regrets and it was a positive experience. All along I wanted a csection but at that time I couldn’t request a csection for non medical reasons. I’m now pg again and will be having a csection.

Interested in this as I am really debating what to do. Have also had strong feelings against anything other than a csection. Am pretty terrified of the alternatives and really worried I won't be given a choice.

I have to say my owhooe pregnancy was warped last time by the fear that birth woukd be at the end of it. I had months of ridiculous anxiety. This time I kmow I’ll have a csection and most the anxiety about birth has been so much better. From a mental POV I’m coping much better about having a csection.

I always had a fear, but opted for a home birth. C section was second choice, I didn't want to be in hospital.

I have had 2 home births and don't regret a thing, I loved them. My fear was medical staff touching me though, and vaginal examinations. Not a fear of pain or pushing.

Yes I was diagnosed with tokiphobia- never thought I'd be able to have children but had great counselling and now have two beautiful daughters, both born by elective c section. Both really calm experiences and my partner and I feel very lucky really.

Never been diagnosed with it but I really was scared of a vaginal birth so elected for c section.

I do wish I could know what contractions felt like, and also the "excitement" of going into labour, as it was weird knowing when I was going to have the baby, but I reckon I'd have ended up with a c section anyway so glad I went elective.

My recovery was fine - was back driving within 4 weeks.

Not yet sure what I'll do with number 2 if we are blessed.

Good luck whatever you decide - follow your gut x

I was massively dreading giving birth. Was crying all the time thinking about it and the closer i got to my due date the more i was so anxious. My DM explained to me (she had goven birth naturally and also by ceserean) that it may hurt BUT i would be ok. I know that seems so silly but honestly its true.. the doctors, nurses and midwives will help you if you need help with the pain ( I had gas and air and pethodine). You really can do it, it hurt but i dont regret it and id rather give birth all over again than have a bad migraine! Its almost as of you zone out and your body knows that this is what you have to do. You will do great x

I had tocophobia and was in complete panic when I found out I was pregnant, and highly anxious throughout pregnancy. Thankfully had a wonderful midwife who supported me throughout and I feel very fortunate that, after psychological and medical assessments, I was approved for an elective section. It wasn't easy to get agreement from the consultant, but I stuck to my guns and I am very glad I did. The final few weeks were terrifying as I was convinced I'd go into labour early, but once I was at hospital on delivery day all was fine.

I was diagnosed with tokophobia and have had 2 babies by csection. With my first I did consider a trial of labour but with a move straight to csection if any intervention was needed (specifically forceps) but in the end chose an elective section. Absolutely no regrets here. In fact I really don't understand the feelings of some of my friends who felt they had 'failed' and 'not properly given birth' when they ended up having emergency sections... I respect their feelings obviously, but in my view delivering a baby is giving birth, however it happens

Have a look at the blog Forever Amber. She had an elective section due to tokophobia and has a lot of posts about it.

@joeturnersleftfoot you aren't missing out, contractions feel like the cramps of your stomach pushing when you have the most severe upset stomach ever I also would imagine the excitement of going into labour is on a par with being prepped for your section and knowing you will have your baby soon.

I don't think you missed out, it's just different types of excitement. I still wonder what a section would be like, or an epidural and feel like maybe I missed out on the traditional experience of baby in hospital, visiting times, etc. I still don't regret the home births though.

From my very first midwife appointment, I was adamant that I wanted an elective c-section because of my tokophobia. I had several appointments with the consultant and he said that he didn't advise a c-section, but would let me have me one if I really wanted. I actually decided in the end that I would give vaginal birth a go - I was still far more comfortable with the idea of a c-section, but the consultant pointed out that if I wanted a large family, the more c-sections I had, the riskier it would be, and that was the main thing that changed my mind.

Anyone who's been to an ante-natal class will know that even when contractions start, you're told to stay at home until they're frequent and regular because that's the best way to "relax" and help labour progress. With my tokophobia, that was absolutely not the case for me. Contractions started at 6 minutes apart - and 48 hours later, they were still 6 minutes apart. I only relaxed enough for labour to progress when they agreed to admit me to the ante-natal ward (still wouldn't take me on to the delivery suite at that point). As soon as I was 3cm dialated, I got an epidural, which was brilliant - I was very comfortable, couldn't feel a thing, and felt ok about the prospect of pushing a baby out. But 12 hours later, I was still only 4 cm dialated, despite pumping me full of induction drugs to move things along, and so I ended up having a category 3 emergency section (the least urgent EMCS).

I'd had several operations previously, so was prepared for what to expect from a c-section. In actual fact, I found it a total breeze! I was in hardly any pain during my recovery, home within 48 hours and fully mobile within 72 hours (though still took it easy, just in case!). For my next child, I will be having an elective section - no question.

So in summary - if I had gone with a vaginal birth, I think I would have coped with it. But Reastie makes an interesting point about our body's being reluctant - maybe that's why my labour didn't progress. And from my c-section experience, I know I wouldn't have regretted having an elective either. The risk of multiple c-sections is still in my head, though - I'm paying close attention to Mumsnet threads about 3+ sections and have accepted that if my second goes badly, it might be best to stop at two children.

Hey, I recommend listening to the Fear free childbirth podcast, the woman who runs it had tokophobia and she’s now created a course to support women in overcoming it.
Whatever route you choose I hope you have a peaceful birth xx

I'm tokophobia and pregnant with my second. My first was delivered by section - the only way I felt I'd be able to cope, and I managed fine, to the extent that I knew within an hour of birth that I'd do it again once day. Recovery was easier than anticipated, and much easier than most of my friends with vaginal births had.