Lonely

[Alicia87721]

Hi just looking someone to talk to  I'm 17 and I'm 31 one weeks pregnant. I feel as if I have nobody. My boyfriend works everyday from morning till 9 o'clock at night. My mum works full time aswell. So im constantly in the house alone. I feel as if I have nobody to ever talk to. Everytime I ask my friends to come and see me they make up silly excuses and most of the time they are all caught out lieing. All I do everyday is lie in bed until my boyfriend finishes work and then I go to stay in his house and go straight to bed again. I'm constantly in bed. My boyfriend keeps telling me to do stuff around the house but it's not like that I want someone to talk to and be with I hate being alone.

You might not like what I am going to say but I agree with your boyfriend, you need to be proactive about doing things as you are making yourself miserable by moping. It may not be nice being in the house on your own but you have to keep yourself busy, bake some cakes, clean, go for a walk, have you attended any antenatal classes? Download MUSH its like tinder but for friends that are pregnant too - you might make some friends on there. Learn to enjoy your own company - you are your own best friend :)

Yep sorry but you need to be proactive or by the time that baby arrives you’ll have a sedentary habit it’ll be hard to break. Google your area. Find something you want to see and go walk to it. Try swimming. See if there are any coffee morning meets you could go to or mums groups.

The world is your oyster if you get out of bed and live.

You do need to push yourself to get out. I moved to a new city 5 months before falling pregnant so have no family or friends nearby and my partner works all day.
Have you got Antenatal classes booked in? I met a nice group at mine and make myself go for coffee and form friendships and having people going through the same thing is very beneficial.
You should google local antenatal groups and maybe get out for walks and things on your own too.
I would happily spend all day in bed but know it's best to get out and you just have to push yourself to do it.

Hey I can kind of relate, I had my first at 18 although found out at 17 that i was pregnant, im now almost 34! .. but i understand where you are coming from, because you are 17 you dont have anyone in your age group to share this with that can relate, they are all out doing there own thing so im sure that highlights how you feel plus any other pregnant women are mainly older so it will feel more so like you are alone. Above it is mentioned there is an app called MUSH for connecting with people in similar situations so that sounds like a good start with the suggested ideas of forcing yourself to be more active, .. walk every day, maybe just a 10 min walk, to the shops and back or something around mid day to break the day up?

Do you have any hobbies that you can maybe sign up to classes for to get out of the house? May be a good way to meet new people :) Not sure if you’re on maternity leave but what about work friends? Wouldn’t rely on your bf and mum as when the baby comes you’ll have to get out of the house too else I would imagine you’ll go bonkers with cabin fever.

Library, coffee shop, swimming, antenatal classes, book clubs, coffee morning at local mum groups, go for walks or a drive to see new things - you have to make the effort to fulfil your own happiness and not rely on others so much.

There is literally always a mum group on most days and will be great to meet and get to know these people who are like minded - mums! You'll want to take your baby to these groups, soon enough you'll have a lovely circle of friends and so will your baby.

But if you don't make the effort, nothing will change.

I would chat to your midwife about this - I know lying in bed all day and feeling low could indicate depression.