Anxiety about reduced movements

[worried77]

I’m 26+3 and it feels like nearly every day I have some worries about baby not moving enough. I then do the ‘have a drink, lay down and pay attention’ thing and generally will feel the baby move after some time (sometimes not for well over an hour). Often just one or two small movements then they’re quiet again.

This is DC2 and, really, I think this little one is just so lazy compared to DS. I do have an anterior placenta but I had that last time as well.

Sometimes, but rarely, baby does have a little party in there so I know they are capable of moving around a lot when they want to.

The last three or four nights, I’ve been awake in the small hours thinking that I haven’t felt baby move. I know that’s silly as they could have been moving a lot in my sleep, maybe even that which woke me up! But I just can’t help feeling like something’s wrong... then baby gives one or two little squirms and I have to tell myself to relax.

I know they say to go in with any worries about reduced movement, but with my anxiety I would literally be there every day. And as I’m not 28 weeks, they can only check the baby’s heartbeat using the Doppler which will reassure me for all of 5 seconds.

Don’t really know what I want from this post... a bit of reassurance? A firm “pull yourself together!” maybe?

Maybe this baby’s “pattern” is just very infrequent, gentle movements?! That sounds a bit... unusual? Just feel worried, I feel like I know something is wrong but I have absolutely nothing to suggest there is (and a history of anxiety to suggest I’m wrong!)

My first baby was like that. She would move but a lot of the time it felt like gentle flutters rather than big kicks. She was like this all the way up until I had her. Although as my due date got closer I could physically see her move in my belly by then. I always thought this was normal until my pregnancy now which is whole different story. This baby kicks me like he's trying to break out. Even keeps me up at night. I wouldn't worry too much as long as you're feeling regular movements. If you do feel concerned though definitely let your hospital know. Or get a private scan just to reassure yourself everything is well.

This is the shit (but inevitable) consequence of the kick-counting movement. I totally agree with it - just to make that clear - but for anxious people like us it can make pregnancy quite a fearful time. I remember feeling that I had to be hypervigilant, or my baby could die at any moment, and it would all be my fault. The panic when movements were reduced, the eventual rush to hospital, worried sick that it was "too late"..

What helped me was hypnobirthing meditations as it helped build up a kind of confidence that all would be well. I began to see my body as working with the baby.
Now...I'm not at all "woo" and had ALL the drugs with my first, and would happily do so again. But the mindfulness and deep breathing stuff did seem to calm me down.

Also I just had to learn ways of talking myself down off the ledge, reminding myself that he would normally move at these particular times, babies sleep too (for some reason I wanted him to be bouncing around all the time which was unreasonable) etc.

Another thing I told myself was if I was worried I would go in even if I felt silly. That took the pressure off I think as sometimes the most anxiety-inducing bit was the "will-I won't-I" palaver

It's not number of kicks but pattern that matters. Each baby is different. What times of day is the baby usually most active? Consciously check for movement at those times.

If it helps, get a private scan with an umbilical doppler. That'll reassure you that blood flow to the baby is as it should be. That's what I ended up doing.

I think its perfectly normal to worry about movements especially when you are advised to keep an eye on them so much nowadays. I've had days where I think I haven't felt movement as much and then I sit down and concentrate and feel movement to reassure me. My midwife said to me not to feel silly contacting them if you are worried, she said even if you are seen say in the daytime and reassured and then are still concerned by the evening again then to go in again. They won't make you feel like you are wasting their time. I also notice different patterns depending on the day, for example the days I work I feel movement nearly all day long because I sit at a desk all day and I guess am more aware of it, whereas on a weekend when im busy and out and about I don't notice movement half as much. I also don't feel any movement when I sleep because I sleep like a log, so maybe my baby is already in a great routine of sleeping all night! Or im just a heavy sleeper and it doesn't wake me up. Everyone else's normal isn't the same as your normal so keep that in mind, but don't feel silly for feeling like something is wrong, contact a midwife if you are worried, that's what they are there for :)

Baby usually moves more when I get into bed and then early hours of the morning (about 4ish). Which I think is why I feel so worried when they’re quiet when I go to bed and then still quiet in the middle of the night.

I have had a couple of kicks just now (I’m laying on the sofa having had a drink and a snack!)

I feel like this every day and every night it is bloody awful and taking over my life and pregnancy. 1st baby, 3rd pregnancy which doesn't help i suppose. Only 24 weeks but there is conflicting advice whether to bother about reduced movements I rang triage on Saturday and they got me in and checked with doppler babies heart beat then by Sunday I was petrified again. It's making me so anxious I'm going to speak to midwife at next appointment because I do think I'm over worrying and stressing too much x

I'm under care for severe anxiety and have been told not to count the kicks - it's very anxiety-inducing. Instead my mental health midwife told me to just make sure I don't go to bed without feeling him move. That seems like a sensible way to monitor it. Often I'm busy all day and don't feel much, but he'll move at night if I lay on my side, drink something cold and sugary etc. (Then he has a party at 4am.)

Also at 26 weeks I wasn't feeling huge movements. It was only past about 30 weeks that they became more hefty. I have an anterior placenta.

xJune88 it’s awful, isn’t it. Sorry about your previous losses

That’s probably good advice, whatswithtodaytoday. I try to not over-react and if I’ve felt baby at some point in the day, will try to relax about it even if they have been quiet for some time.

The “will-I-won’t-I” (go to hospital) debate that 1Bobbinwinder mentioned is the worst.

I get you. They stress it so much (rightly I suppose) that you feel if something went wrong it would be your fault for not noticing and doing something. I could literally have been in the hospital every other day from about 30 weeks! Pregnancy is just such a rubbish time especially if you have anxiety as everything is ten times worse. Just got to slog on. Agree with a pp about private scan though.

I will consider a private scan, have heard you can get good deals on GroupOn. How do you know if they will check the blood flow through the umbilical cord? And also whether they’re any good?!

Mine was with babybond, it tells you what each scan checks for on the website. Mine checked that fluid level, baby growth and blood flow seemed OK. Also did a 4d preview for free so I got some videos of my DD.

Thank you, the BabyBond scan looks great! Much better than any of the GroupOn ones I’ve seen locally. Am going to speak to DP about it