Travel distance during late pregnancy?

[hiccupgate]

39 weeks due at the weekend.

How far did you travel in the weeks around your due date?

I had plans to meet a good friend in city about a 30-40 minute drive from our home later this evening. It’s a drive I am very familiar with because I was commuting their daily until taking mat leave. I’m also very familiar with the venue (it used to be a regular haunt). The drive can take longer in rush hour, so I had planned to stagger the drive to avoid the traffic.

DP wakes me up this morning at 07:30 before leaving for work telling me that he is not happy with me driving that distance and spending time in said café/bar, because:

• It would only take the baby kicking for me to crash the car
• What if my waters break
• What if I start getting contractions
• What would happen if I had to be rushed to a different hospital

I am a low risk pregnancy, I carry my notes everywhere and I’ve done my research. If my waters break I am not guaranteed to go straight into labour, I’ll just leave and drive 20-25 minutes to my normal hospital (opposite end of the motorway). If I start getting contractions, they’re very unlikely to be 10/10 immediately, so I will have plenty of time to get home and then get to hospital later. I’m not walking anywhere far – literally a five minute walk from the car to the café and vice versa.

I’m supposed to be seeing another close friend (also now due) later in the week in the same city. He’s telling me that she should come here! Never mind that that would be a full hour away from her home as we were supposed to be meeting in the middle. No concerns for her welfare then…

I have some underlying anxiety / depression issues and for me, getting out and about, meeting people and remaining sociable while I can, is a really core component of keeping me mentally well. He knows this very well. I am now literally facing a week of not seeing a soul apart from my DP in the evenings and it’s making me panic. I have potentially another 12 days after my due date of not seeing anyone.

This is my first pregnancy and I don’t know if I am being unreasonable or not. He left the house saying “I need to be more responsible” and me saying I would cancel my plans. I’m not dragging everyone over here, as they quite often come here and I don’t want to be self-centred and demanding. He doesn't want me giving birth in the local midwifery centre for the similar reasons - concerns about the transfer time to the main hospital (15-20 mins).

Please be gentle! Ta xx

I would speak to your friend you are meeting today and suggest perhaps a closer meeting point? So you don't feel like you are making her travel to you but you are still close enough to your home if needed. I do agree with your partner to a certain extent, he is just worried about you going into labour and being far away, I totally get jay but only you know how you feel and if you feel you can make the journey then do it just take it easy.

Yeah, I have suggested to the one friend that we meet a bit closer but I just don't like inconveniencing people. I think I am just used to being very independent (yes I know I'm about to have a baby!) and I now feel very caged. I know it's about to get worse, so I want to make the most of my remaining free days while I can! x

I think if you're comfortable with the trip then it's fine. We are a good 45 mins to an hour away from the hospital in the first place, but it's unlikely that labour will start and get to an intense level that quickly. Not sure why he thinks baby kicking will make you crash! I've been driving with a very active and kicking baby this whole time and can't say it's ever affected me when behind the wheel.

If you did go into labour and felt you couldn't drive, then he can either come get you or worst case scenario you call an ambulance if it was an emergency. But that would be very unlikely! As long as you have your hospital bag with you, your notes and can easily get in touch with people, then I'd carry on as you are. Especially as I think the risk to your wellbeing and mental health is greater than the risk of going into labour 40 mins away.

I think he’s got a point. I was very gung-ho in my first pregnancy but was lucky really. On the Thursday I was in London and was a good 1h30 away from home. Next day I had to go into hospital as they were worried about pre-eclampsia. Soon after my waters went with no warning.

I know what you mean. I’m 38 weeks with second pregnancy and have been asked for weeks if it’s safe for me to drive by family and friends. My husband keeps saying it’s dangerous when baby kicks. They don’t understand that we are used to it. I would perhaps ask your friend to meet somewhere in the middle. I’m sure that they would understand. Does your friend drive? If so, explain to your partner that if you did go into labour then you would have a driver on hand which is actually much better than being at home on your own. You’re right to keep active and seeing your friends is a good thing while you are waiting for your new addition. You know yourself if you’re overdoing it so enjoy yourself xx

30-40 minutes wouldn't bother me, but longer would. We didn't plan any journey longer than 30 minutes from 37 weeks, which is good as DS arrived at 38+1 and DD at 37+4!

He is being ridiculous. If you feel comfortable then go.

Also for the record my waters broke before labour started and I was able to wash the dye off my hair, put a load of washing on and wrap a load of Christmas presents before my contractions really got going!

I think he is being unreasonable. If your labour started at home you wouldn’t get in the car and drive straight to the hospital. So being 45 mins or so from home is no time at all, you’d have plenty of time to get home if you feel the need to urgently leave.

I'm 40+6 with my second DC. I have to drive 40minutes each way every day to pick DC1 up. DH works the same distance away. If you feel comfortable, then I say go ahead. Just keep your hospital bag and maternity notes in the car just in case!

If you feel comfortable then you should carry on as normal - you know your body better than anyone else. Your mental health comes first for sure. Have fun :)

Thanks for all the responses guys. Its nice to know I'm not going completely mad! I'm meeting one friend a little closer later in the week and getting a lift there and back to help DP feel a bit more comfortable.

@kidneybean - I thought the baby kicking thing was weird but sounds like it might not be so uncommon. Guys really do struggle to understand sometimes...