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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant with one night stand

18 replies

talie1008 · 21/01/2019 12:10

I am pregnant with a guy I slept with a couple of times. He doesn't want to know so it's just going to be me. I already have 2 kids. People are already asking "who's the daddy" "I didn't know you were with anyone" and more awkward questions. How do I tell everyone to mind there own business and it's nothing to do with them? I already feel ashamed it's happened the way it has and I feel like everyone is making it worse. Explaining it to my kids was ok, they are open and ask me questions when they have them. But everyone else is being nosey asking what happened etc. Please help! I don't know how to handle it!

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 21/01/2019 12:15

Ignore them. Change the subject when they ask. Or give them a stupid/comedy answer when they ask who is the father like “your husband or the milkman or what are you talking about? I’m not pregnant I just had a big lunch”. Have fun thinking up loads of different responses. It is literally no-one stop business. You don’t have to provide them with that information.

WonderWoman2019 · 21/01/2019 12:15

Hello. Honestly, I would just say "thanks for your interest but it's a private matter" and smile politely. Repeat as necessary. They will soon get the message. Best of luck with your pregnancy Flowers

gentlyscented · 21/01/2019 12:17

Is this people on social media asking, or in real life?
I'd just say "I was seeing a guy for a while and now I'm not.oh and btw it's none of your fucking business!"

Congratulations btw x

Enidblyton1 · 21/01/2019 12:17

I guess whatever you say, people will enjoy a good gossip, but they’ll get bored eventually and move on to the next interesting topic.
I’d just say something like - oh it’s just me, the Father’s not interested. Say it proudly and firmly and hopefully you’ll be able to move the conversation on after that.

Josico58 · 21/01/2019 12:19

talie1008 Although it seems rude, I think it's to be expected. I would be surprised if a single person I knew announced a pregnancy, although I probably wouldn't ask them who the father is.

You only really have 3 choices, all require a confident answer:

  • The Truth: "I'm not with the father, but I am excited to raise this baby on my own. I've done it with my other 2 children so I know I am more than capable."
  • A Lie: "I wanted a sibling for my children so I got pregnant by sperm donor. I don't need a present father to raise this baby, I have more than enough love to give it by myself"
  • Refusal: "It's not ideal circumstances so I don't wish to talk about it, I am just looking forward now and focusing on the health and happiness of my unborn child"

If anyone pushes you for further information, gloss over it or point blank refuse (politely). Simply say "I'm not interested in talking about it, I'm just excited to be welcoming a new baby into the world".

Remember, you're an adult and you really don't have to justify yourself to anybody whatsoever.

Notquiteagandt · 21/01/2019 12:28

I am having a baby alone. Ghe few people that have been rude enough to ask I have just told I am doing it by myself and she has all she will need. End of conversation.

grinchypants · 21/01/2019 12:30

I'd just be as honest as you can and at the very least it will show you who's really supportive of you.
Wish you all the best for your pregnancy, I'm sorry it's the way it's planned out

Ccec · 21/01/2019 12:54

I'm also in a similar position, got pregnant after sleeping with someone for the first time but despite having known him for years he wants nothing to do with it all. All my family know the truth about exactly who the father is (we all live in a small town and would be impossible to tell one and not the others) and a close friend. So far i have only come across one person who has asked after the father directly which was a work colleague and i know she wasnt being nosy, i am a private person and she genuinely didnt know i wasnt with somebody so i simply replied that the father wanted nothing to do with it and that was that. Other than that ive told a few friends im less close to on facebook just because it came up in conversation (e.g they asked if i wanted to go for a drink on new years) so i explained i was pregnant and when they replied they didnt realise i was seeing anybody i just said that he wasnt interested and that was as far as the conversation needed to go. I dont think people ask to be rude or nosy, its just that it does take 2 people (or at least sperm and an egg!) to make a baby so its natural for people to ask questions. If anybody was rude i would tell them to mind their own business but i havent had any experience of that yet.

Original poster
talie1008 · 21/01/2019 13:12

Thank you! My mother said "should I just punch you now" and asked loads of inappropriate questions in front of my children. Didn't feel like much of an adult then. People asking in person not over social media. I don't use it. Xx

OP posts:
Ccec · 21/01/2019 14:05

There is certainly no need for that. I've had to have several practical discussions about it with my mum but never infront of my child. He's 11 so he knows the situation but we've talked about it when he isnt around. You certainly arent the first and wont be the last person to ever get pregnant in this situation so you shouldnt be made to feel bad for it. It's your body, your business and if people can't say anything helpful then they are the ones with the problem, not you.

binkybea · 21/01/2019 14:11

'The father and I are no longer together ' Wink

If they continue say 'it is a private matter and for the sake of my son/daughter I am not going to talk about it Angry

ILoveMaxiBondi · 21/01/2019 14:54

Your mum threatened to punch you? Sad OP keep yourself safe, don’t feel you have to maintain relationships with anyone who make sure you feel like shit.

Original poster
talie1008 · 21/01/2019 18:21

Yeah she never been around for my other 2. I try and just keep myself to myself. Only have few people I'm close to now. Made my own family!

OP posts:
Original poster
talie1008 · 21/01/2019 18:21

Yeah she never been around for my other 2. I try and just keep myself to myself. Only have few people I'm close to now. Made my own family! She just really hurt me. I protect my children and I don't want them hearing things that aren't for their ears.

OP posts:
rededucator · 21/01/2019 20:14

I'd just say "I'm doing this myself." And let them take from that what they will. Congratulations and good health to you x

HollowTalk · 21/01/2019 20:15

Did you not think of taking the MAP if you didn't take precautions on the night?

Ozziewozzie · 21/01/2019 20:21

I understand your worry. People can be so nosey, just for a bit of gossip.
It really is none of anyone’s business except yours and your children’s. Credit to them for understanding. Accidents happen. Credit to you for not stressing on what you should do, instead getting on with it.
Could you just say, you really wanted another baby and a close friend helped you out. When their ears prick up and they begin to ask more questions, just say, oh I promised I’d not discuss it and remain discreet, sorry, I can say nothing more, but my children and I are really happy sobtgats all that matters.

Ozziewozzie · 21/01/2019 20:22

^ so that’s

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