hi chocolatepeanut, i remember you from last year. we too lost our baby, when i was 30 weeks. i am now 35 + 4 and it hasnt been an easy ride. up & down with my emotions, anxiety and insecurities. when i was about to complete 30 weeks i got so nervous that i called my grief counsellor from last year and went in for a session. it was great, she helped me through that week and i was able to vent everything i was feeling since the begining of this pregnancy. i felt relieved.
my partner has been amazing too, he is much more confident than me so he is able to give me a lot of support on the days im feeling insecure. however, i do give him a lot of stress sometimes.
i believe life only gives us what we can handle, and if thats how i had to live this experience, i best surrender.
after the 30 week mark, i did get more and more excited about this baby. once in a while i get imsomnia because im so excited about it. and sometimes i still get insecure, but in a lesser degree.
today, 1st of july, we had our antenatal crash course and it was wonderful. i kept picturing myself in the labour ward holding our healthy baby in few weeks time.
i think as long as you can cope with your emotions, whether they are negative or positive, you will progress during your pregnancy towards the good ones and not let only the negative ones to dominate you. you will change throughout the next weeks, you will see. and lets face it, who is absolutely secure and tranquil about having a baby?