2nd Pregnancy 17years apart - will the Birth be easier?

[NChangeForNoReason]

I was 20 when I had my last baby and it was a very traumatic birth with a botched epidural, failed vontuse and forceps delivery. Coupled with an infected episiotomy and PND I suffered with PTSD for quite a few months after.

17y later I'm pregnant again and want to minimalist the stress with a CSection.

I've spoke to the consultant and they aren't convinced on my justification. They have stated that it will be a lot easier 2nd time round.

While I understand it's a major operation and they are trying to prevent bad outcomes (and cost), even a quick birth will hurt! Also as I'm significantly older, with a low pain threshold and really want to avoid situations that could invoke PND and stress.

Has anyone experienced 2nd birth (after 10/15y+) and still had a significantly better experience (as per the myth that 2nd time is easier)?

Gosh, poor you! You were a young mum. It's daunting to become a mum at ANY age but what a tough start to parenthood you had by having such an incredibly difficult delivery.
I don't have such a big gap. But what I have experienced is the delivery at a younger maternal age vs. delivery at an older age (two deliveries when I was older: 38 and 42). My age did not come against me in any way with regards to pregnancy and delivery. So, in this regard, being 'older' doesn't automatically mean 'difficult pregnancy/difficult delivery'. As you know yourself, this can happen at any age. Given your history, you are understandably anxious. I think it's really, really important that, again, given your history combined with your age, you make sure the midwives plug you into a consultant led pregnancy (you're not old in the least, but you can factor being 38 years old at delivery into this request). I might be barking up the wrong tree, but I do know that my older age combined with a history of suicidal PND with number 2 was enough to have a consultant led pregnancy and delivery at 42. Actually, my last pregnancy was my easiest by far! It was a breeze, physically and emotionally, which helped with the birth.

With regards to the c-section, I am no pro by any means and I haven't experienced a c-section, but I too would be wanting a c-section if I were in your shoes.

How far along are you and have you been able to talk to your midwife team about your history and concerns?