Suddenly incontinent at 20 weeks, please help.

[PisforPROBLEM]

Nc for this as I have spoken to friends about my issue and don't want to out myself.

I'm struggling and appreciate any advice you can give me. I have gone from being a fully continent person, with no bladder issues, to someone who leaks urine when I stand up. It started on Sunday, and I can't control it at all. It isn't just when I sneeze or cough, I just leak when standing and walking around.

I have been checked out to make sure it isn't amniotic fluid which it seems it isn't. I'm just miserable and uncomfortable. I have been trying to be positive about it, but I'm so upset.

I don't want to go out as it can be very uncomfortable to be away from a toilet. I suddenly have urgency issues, and it seems like my bladder is half the size it was before Sunday. It's not a urine infection, but feels a bit like it sometimes.

It is having a huge effect on my mental health and I don't know what to do. My midwife is going to see if she can refer me to urology, which is something. The obstetrician who checked me over was so dismissive I felt hopeless. His attitude was that it's not my waters so just get on with it.

All the information I can find seems to be about stress incontinence, which I'm not sure this is as it's not when sneezing etc. I don't understand why it has just happened like this.

I'm also reacting to the pads, and getting sore. I have ordered some cloth ones in the hope they will be more comfortable.

Does anyone have any advice that could help me please?

i'm sorry, this must be tough, but its good your midwife is getting you referred. you could try a pair of these, which look and feel like normal knickers but are absorbent? all the best x

Hi pisforproblem your name change made me giggle. I too have namechanged to answer.
Can I ask is this your first birth? I am wondering if it could be due to damage from a previous birth becoming more apparent now that if you are pregnant again, with the weight of everything and pregnancy hormones relaxing everything.
After my ds was born I had terrible problems with incontinence. Slight bladder prolapse.

I find the medical attitude somewhat shocking that we should just get on with it.
I also find that the way incontinence pads are making a fortune from healthcare’s lack of willingness/funding to address this terrible.
They use glamorous advertising to market their products and make it ok and I makes me feel quite angry. Not that there shouldn’t be a market for products like Tena, but I just do not believe if men faced this issue they would be told to get on with it, piss themselves and put up with the associated psychological harm that goes with it, oh and spend a small fortune on pads for the rest of their life.

Anyways, I digress, the good news is I found physio hugely helpful. I paid private as the nhs couldn’t have gave a shit quite frankly.
It is much better after a couple of months of doing my pelvic floors properly. Has played up a little this pregnancy. I should be delivering by c section this time to avoid any further damage to my lady bits as further tears could damage the pelvic floor which supports the bladder.
Could you look at private physio? Mine was worth her weight I’m gold I don’t regret a penny of it. She made sure I was doing pelvic floor exercises properly and gave me different methods to optimise the muscle strengthening.
I won’t hesitate to go back to her if I need to after this birth.

Sleep thank you I will have a look at them if I don't find the cloth pads an improvement.

@splat0 - thank you so much for your reply. Could I please ask what the symptoms for you were of your prolapse? Does what I'm saying sound familiar? What I am experiencing just doesn't seem to match up with the symptoms of stress incontinence.

I'm referring myself to the antenatal physios to see if they can help, but if not I will try private. A friend also recommended a physio on the nhs who helped her massively.

This is my second pregnancy, dd was delivered by c section, so no birth trauma. I completely agree that men would never be expected to just put up with it, and about the profound effect this has on your self esteem and psychological wellbeing.

Thank you again for replying.

Do you actually feel yourself leaking or are you just damp down below all the time? It may be that because of everything being more relaxed in pregnancy this may only be a pregnancy related issue and regular pelvic floor exercises may help and prevent the problem continuing after the delivery

@jellybean100 - I can feel myself leaking. It's the feeling that is upsetting me the most. I then clench and panic and it's then that it starts to feel like a uti. So that side of it I think is caused by anxiety.

There is a spongy lump in the vaginal wall which is essentially the bladder which has slipped through lack of support from the pelvic floor. And a feeling that my insides were going to drop out.

So I used to just leak randomly for no reason and it was stress incontinence also so running, coughing, sneezing.

But whilst I don’t claim to be any kind of an expert, this seems less likely for you if you had a c section, as I think it was the birth and tear I had that was the cause of it.

I’d try the physio anyway it can never hurt to know how to do your pelvic floors properly.
Good luck.

Just to add into the complicated mess, I have a health condition that basically means my tissues are too lax which is why I'm wondering about a prolapse. It's called ehlers danlos syndrome, there is something wrong with the way my body makes collagen, which means everything is too stretchy and weak.

Definitely worth getting checked for prolapse then and learning to do pelvic floors.
It is manageable don’t be worried if you do have one, but you need to make sure you have the right advice from someone who knows, which in my experience was not that doctor it was the physio.

I only have some mild stress incontinence when exercising. Tena lady pads are the only brand that don't irritate me so trying out different solutions could be a good idea.

Thank you splat, you have been really helpful.

Exploding sorry to hear you are having some issues too. Hopefully you are right and the better pads will make a big difference to how I feel.