Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Breastfeeding or Formula; why?

97 replies

Midwife23 · 16/01/2019 13:59

Hi everyone!
I’m interested in everyone’s thoughts and opinions on infant feeding. Why did you choose to breastfeed it use formula? Did anything influence your decision?
Currently indecisive!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Queenofthedrivensnow · 16/01/2019 15:34

Urgh the dp can help out if it's ff. because men are incapable of any other aspects of care.

brookshelley · 16/01/2019 15:35

BF both of mine - still going with DC2 who is a year old. It’s amazing to watch your child grow from something you have created for them. A joy despite the challenges. Very grateful I was able to BF and had support to succeed.

Ragwort · 16/01/2019 15:35

I b/f because I am lazy & couldn’t face the thought of sterilising & all the equipment you needed. And it’s free. It was a struggle at first but worked out fine after a couple of weeks. I did mix feed eventually which is rarely talked about, DS had a carton of ready mixed milk occasionally, it was just easier than expressing when I wanted to go out.

wombatsears · 16/01/2019 15:36

@flumpybear

But the OP asked why we personally chose to bf or ff. For me personally, I believe that bf has provided a closer bond than ff would have. Obviously this isn’t the case for others but I myself haven’t had negative feelings about bf.

RiverTam · 16/01/2019 15:42

are you a student midwife, OP? Or a mum-to-be?

ReaganSomerset · 16/01/2019 15:47

I spent a ridiculous amount on suitable clothes etc to wear to be able to breastfeed when out

You really don't have to. Easy to lift tops and a back to front vest top or a maternity belly band underneath, pull the top up and leave the vest in place to hide your belly. Or v necked/low cut/buttoned top or dress and maternity belly band pulled up to cover the bra area underneath. Pull the belly band up and the top/dress/jumper down.

You can even use bralettes instead of nursing bras (or buy nursing bras instead of maternity bras while pregnant and just use them).

Still costs you a bit, but doesn't have to be a fortune - you can probably use a lot of the stuff you already have.

BertieBotts · 16/01/2019 15:51

I liked the idea of BF - seemed the obvious choice. Probably because it's what my mum did so seemed like the "normal" way to feed babies to me. IIRC this is the usual closest predictor - what you consider the default.

If I had to come up with reasons then it would be because it was freely available, ready prepared, don't need to worry about temperature or sterility etc. Yes there are costs in terms of mum's time and other things, but that didn't really occur to me.

I planned to co-sleep and it makes sense combined with this as a strategy to get as much sleep as possible.

almutasakieun · 16/01/2019 15:54

Formula all the way for me. BFing is too fucking hard. It's a thankless task, kids can't sleep, and you're like a cow. I fucking hated it. I did it for 6 weeks. If I had my time back? No fucking way.

Nothisispatrick · 16/01/2019 16:03

Urgh the dp can help out if it's ff. because men are incapable of any other aspects of care

Except feeding is a huge part of care of a young baby. FWIW my dp does all the night feeds which is a huge help to me as I really struggle without sleep. It also allows a lot of freedom, I go the gym, dp can take dd out all day or I can go out all day without dd.

The same could perhaps be achieved with expressing, but it’s not uncommon to not get much output when expressing and it’s extremely time consuming unless you have a huge supply of milk. I doubt I could pump enough for dp to do all the night feeds whilst still feeding dd in the day.

I would love to have breastfed but it didn’t work out, but I can’t bear all this slagging off of formula on MN at the moment. Not everyone makes the decision to ff before their baby is born, sometimes it just ends up that way!

ZaphodBeeblerox · 16/01/2019 16:03

While formula is a godsend for women who can't breastfeed, pretty much every measure of child and maternal health shows that it is better for children to be breastfed. Lower rates of osteoporosis and female cancers and PND in mums who breastfeed; and lower rates of obesity, and higher IQs in children who are breastfed. I'm not ever going to shame a mum for formula feeding - because we don't know what went into that decision or even if it was a voluntary one, but as long as it works it's an amazing way to give your baby and your body a boost - so not sure why you wouldn't try it.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 16/01/2019 16:04

I always assumed I'd breastfeed.

Then DS1 was born underweight and had to spend time in SCUBU. We had some trouble getting breastfeeding going in the narrow timeslots he was allowed out of his incubator for skin on skin.

It was a condition of his release that he be taking fluids through his mouth (he was started off on breast milk through he nose) so it reached the point where an insistence on breast feeding might have delayed him coming home with me.

I remember making the decision that coming home was more important and I would give up on breastfeeding if necessary.

Then they put us in transitional care for a few days and once we were able to spend time together the breastfeeding fell into place.

With DD2- Breastfeeding came very easily so no problem.

Ever since DS1, however, I've been very clear that breastfeeding is a nice to have not an essential.

If you find it getting in the way of connecting with your baby, with anyone's physical health or mental health, or with your enjoyment of life generally: my advice would be to give it up without a backwards glance.

There was a woman on my ward when I had DD2 who had had a very difficult birth (doctors were looking over her notes and visibly wincing). When the breastfeeding consultant came round she said "No thank you. My body's been through a lot and I've decided not to bother" I felt like cheering her!

Conversely there was another woman who was having a lot of trouble getting breastfeeding going and it was clearly becoming an enormous stressor for her. I (privately) felt like she's probably have been better off giving up.

ReaganSomerset · 16/01/2019 16:06

Wrt reasons to breastfeed, there are benefits for the mother and baby, as already discussed. It also helps mum lose the baby weight by burning calories and reduces likelihood of childhood leukemia. For more on the benefits, I've given a link below.

www.nhs.uk/start4life/baby/breastfeeding/

@cocolola23
The issue we have is that years ago, formula companies were allowed into maternity wards to give new mums free formula. Women were fed lies, told that a breastfed baby should only need feeding at often as a FF one, that if the baby needed breastmilk more often than that mum clearly wasn't producing enough, or they had a 'hungry baby' that needed formula. They were warned that if they gave breastmilk they wouldn't be able to tell that baby had had enough and were risking under-feeding. They were told that formula was just as good because the companies that sell it wanted the profit. Basically, they were taught not to trust their own bodies, that the men in white coats knew what was best for the babies. And as a result the vast majority of women formula fed. And the art of breastfeeding was forgotten. When the later generations discovered that actually, breastfeeding is best for mums and babies, no one remembered how to do it any more. Mums could no longer ask their own mothers, siblings, aunts and friends for help. And of course, any suggestion after the fact that maybe formula isn't quite as good was met with a raft of mum guilt from the previous generations, who then ignored this upsetting information and continued to encourage new mums to FF.

The problem with the nhs campaign is that it makes mums want to BF but doesn't give them the support and tools to do so. The support offered varies dramatically by area. I was admitted back on to the maternity ward when I struggled to breastfeed at home and didn't leave again until I was confident with it, but lots of mums don't get that level of support and give up because they want their baby fed and happy but can't do that breastfeeding because they need the help and can't access it. So you get all of the mum guilt with none of the breastfeeding benefits.

However, I believe the tide is turning. In my area at least, the baby groups are full of breastfeeding mums. At a recent baby massage group I attended, everyone fed their babies at the end and only one mum out of the ten that were there used a bottle to do so. I think breastfeeding is becoming more popular. And as people get used to seeing it and start to develop a group of friends and family members who have done it themselves and can offer advice and help, it will be that much easier for new mums who want to breastfeed to be able do so.

blondeirishmummy84 · 16/01/2019 16:10

I have both BF and formula fed, there are pros and cons of both and each baby is different.
I loved BFing because you didnt have to bring bottles and formula out and about with you or faff with them at night. I think it helped me lose a lot of baby weight too as it helps your uterus contract back in. It also releases feel good hormones and less likely to get PND (although its not to say BF dont get it). Also its cheaper and always at the right temperature, as well as has all the health benefits. Luckily my son had perfect latch and no issues there. Plus you only ever needed one arm to BF, leaving the other hand free lol. I didnt mind feeding in public either.
It was utterly exhausting in the beginning with when baby is constantly feeding to build up your supply and they are on the boob almost every hour. My nipples did get very sore from constant feeding but just pushed through it. Thankfully I never got mastitis either, but Ive this can be awful for BF Mums.
FF is more convenient in other ways too, no leaky boobs or wearing BF clothing (although that didnt bother me too much). My husband could help with feeding and it was always good to know exactly how much baby was getting, as well as adding a bit more routine/structure rather than feeding on demand. The tommee tipee prep machine is good if you're going to FF. Oh also, you didnt have to be cautious about what you eat or drink when formula feeding!
Downside to FF is sterilising bottles and the cost, but in the grand scheme of things its no big deal I guess, the time flies by when theyre babies!
I found I bonded with baby whether BF or FF so that doesnt matter at all.
Im expecting again and BF is my first choice but I know combi feeding can and does work so there is no pressure and just going to see how it goes.
Dont feel pressure from anyone on how best to feed your baby. Good luck!x

Verbena87 · 16/01/2019 16:10

I planned to breastfeed because it’s what everyone else in my family has done, so seemed normal, because of the health benefits for mum and baby, because of the convenience and portability (we like camping and walking).

In reality I also found it to be profoundly healing emotionally after a really tough labour - it allowed me to see my body as capable and functional again and I think it was instrumental in my psychological recovery. Really hadn’t considered that being a benefit and it was a lovely surprise in a tough time.

I do also feel strongly that my experience doesn’t mean breastfeeding is either an enjoyable or achievable choice for all women, and that the culture of shame and judgement around how babies are fed needs challenging from both sides.

uhtredsonofuhtred · 16/01/2019 16:10

FF all 5 of mine, had no desire to bf at all.

See so many people struggle to ween babies off bf or on here moaning that they don't sleep because baby/toddler wants to feed all night,also saying they can't go out because baby won't take to a bottle 😳 fuck that! I like to hand my babies to someone else and let them take over while I do something for myself. Plus I never understand how the fathers get a look in with mums who have a baby stuck to them, how do they bond?

Nope not for me, but each to their own

Endofrelationship · 16/01/2019 16:11

Reasons to breastfeed:

  • nutritionally superior to formula due to enzymes, antibodies and the mother/child exchange meaning breast milk changes over time to meet child specific needs. This is point is indisputable (unlike some of the the points below)
  • health benefits to mother
  • health benefits to the child
  • some people think it's free
  • some people think it's more convenient
  • some people think it strengthens the bond with their child and they like doing it.

Reasons to formula feed:

  • anyone can feed the baby at any time. This may lead to mother getting more sleep and feeling more supported. Also means other family members can feel more included.
  • baby can be left more easily, which is great if mum needs to return to work or go away for any reason (including wants a break!)
  • some people find it less hassle and more convenient
  • some people dislike breastfeeding and don't want to
  • having choices can improve maternal mental health

I breastfed DS as nutritionally it's best. But whilst doing so realised that that is not the be all and end all of infant feeding and therefore will formula feed DC2. Though I have expressed some colostrum.

Some people successfully combination feed, I wasn't able to though.

ZogTheOrangeDragon · 16/01/2019 16:13

You really don't have to. Easy to lift tops and a back to front vest top or a maternity belly band underneath, pull the top up and leave the vest in place to hide your belly. Or v necked/low cut/buttoned top or dress and maternity belly band pulled up to cover the bra area underneath. Pull the belly band up and the top/dress/jumper down.

You can even use bralettes instead of nursing bras (or buy nursing bras instead of maternity bras while pregnant and just use them).

Still costs you a bit, but doesn't have to be a fortune - you can probably use a lot of the stuff you already have.

Every single thing you have mentioned here would have been things I needed to buy. I just did not have any suitable bf clothes at all.

LikeARedBalloon · 16/01/2019 16:19

OP your username makes me think that you might have a good idea about breastfeeding vs bottle feeding already??!!

TeaByTheSeaside · 16/01/2019 16:22

Do what you want to do, OP. Don't feel pressurised by others.

My view was that I'd give breastfeeding a go and if it didn't work out or was too difficult/ painful, then I'd move to formula.

Being a new mum is really hard and there's really no need to force yourself to breastfeed if it's not working out.

Madratlady · 16/01/2019 16:27

Breastfeeding, by far the easier option once you get feeding established and biologically exactly what your baby needs. Formula lacks so much that just can’t be made in a factory and is standard whereas breast milk adapts to suit your baby’s needs.

PerfectPeony · 16/01/2019 16:32

I breastfeed because it came naturally to me and I had an overwhelming urge to. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I feel like I have a great connection with DD. It was very hard at first but I’m glad that I got through those first few weeks. There’s the nutritional aspect but there really is nothing better than going to get your baby weighed and seeing them gain weight when BF.

I also got to eat loads of biscuits and still lose weight. I find formula a massive faf and would probably be quite unorganised with timing/ how long it stays out he fridge.

Also when I want more sleep I just bring her into bed with me and latch her on. It was quite relaxing when she was small to just sit on the sofa feeding and watching box sets.

I was fine with being the only one to feed her- I actually liked that she needed me tbh. Plus as I’m on mat leave I’d be doing the night feeds anyway.

That’s just me though. Some people get on really well with formula feeding. Now DD is 6 months she has the odd bottle which has worked out okay.

RiverTam · 16/01/2019 16:38

RedBalloom exactly. If this is research then I wish OPs would just make that bloody clear. Second thread this week like this.

cheesenpickles · 16/01/2019 16:57

I'd say it's down to the individual but price wise you can't beat bf. I bfed both my kids for 18 months each and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's not for everybody and the lack of knowledge about what it normal and natural in the healthcare system and society is shocking.

AlwaysColdHands · 16/01/2019 17:14

I was determined to BF because of nutritional benefits, health benefits to myself, convenience & cost. I’m lucky it worked out, but being the sole source of sustenance for a colicky baby who never slept was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. It was a nice change to give a bottle of formula once a day from about 6 months. I carried on until about a year.
I’m intending to BFagain this time round, but will probably be easier on myself and be happy to try a bit of combined feeding sooner. No medals for nearly killing youself in order to say you’ve ‘exclusively’ BF.

Ambs81 · 16/01/2019 17:40

I hope this thread doesn't turn toxic....but....in my experience breastfeeding is;
-free
-easy
-food ready to go at any minute, perfect temperate and sterilised!
-the best nutrional choice for you baby
-gives your babies antibodies/ is antibiotic
-much easier through the night
-gives the mother many, many health benefits (such as reduced risk of cancer, less risk of postnatal haeommarage as it contracts your cervix, weight loss)
-its also tough, especially the first few weeks, but beyond 8 weeks is very easy

I started mix feeding from about 6 months, I found it really hard to prep bottles and usually forgot to had to breast feed - but it was good for when I went away for the day etc.

Next baby I would like to exclusively breastfeed up to six months and then mix feed.