Difficult situation - advice please

[PurpleFlower1983]

Hi everyone,

I’m currently almost 34 weeks pregnant, all going well so far, no complications etc. My MIL has suddenly and sadly just been given a terminal diagnosis of weeks meaning it’s very unlikely she will meet our baby. My DH has been staying at her house in order to arrange care etc. and I joined him over the weekend. It’s a 5 hour drive away from where we are and a 4 hour train ride.

We are both home again now but the plan is that we will go down on Fridays and return Sunday nights. Obviously there will be a time where I can no longer do this. I’m going to talk to my midwife about long journeys when I see her but from what I’ve read, the car journeys should be ok up to 37 weeks. Does this sound ok?

My other concern is the birth and what happens if I go into labour 5 hours away from home or of my DH is away. We are taking my notes, bag and car seat with us but are there any other things we should practically put in place?

Thanks in advance, I know this is an unusual situation.

Sorry about your news OP.

I can't comment on labour 5 hours from home - although I think you'd be unlucky. I do think having an emergency plan in place is a good idea. Do you have someone near you who would help if your DH is away? I guess finding a hospital with a labour ward near your MIL place would seem sensible too? So you know where it is if you need it? Sorry - not sure how it works in the UK.

In terms of the journey I haven't heard that long journeys should stop at any point. Many airlines allow you to fly long haul until 35 weeks (some at 36) and short haul until 39 so I would be surprised if a drive with a break for leg stretching and the bathroom would be a huge problem. I would imagine it's more about comfort for you.

Thank you, I’m going to look into the hospital, it’s a city so should be ok.

Sorry you are going through this. I think the biggest issue would be the journey home from the hospital if you did give birth near MIL. If you end up with an instrumental delivery, c section or stitches it could be very uncomfortable for you, and also newborns aren't advised to be in a car seat for more than 30 minutes, turning a 5 hour journey in to a 10 hour one!

So personally I would consider stopping doing the journey from 38 weeks as I wouldn't want to give birth so far away from home.

As for your DH being away, most labours last longer than 5 hours, so I'd call him as soon as you think you might be in labour. I'd also have a friend or family member on standby as birthing partner/ hopsital transport if nothing else.