Size 24 Mum to Be

[EileenO]

I've just joined Mumsnet today and this is my first post! I'm 7 weeks pregnant and very excited. However, none of the info that I've found on the net is aimed at BBW Mums to Be and I'm hoping that some one on here can tell me I can get maternity wear and just what to expect during pregnancy e.g. will I have complications because of my weight? Will I actually get a bump that's noticeable etc.

Looking forward to your responses!

Thanks,

E :-)

RGPargy and easywriter, he he, so you reckon I'm rambling on then!!! he he, did warn you didn't I!!!
Thanks 4 your comments ladies.
Its lovely to chat on here with you.
Easywriter, what the heck are you talking about, what makes you think you're gonna be too old for a fourth child? Are you thinking of leaving it for the next 20 years then!!!! Cos in the next few years you've more than enough time.....too old, my foot! Too old for what exactly, is it something I should know about (wink)(blush) what can I say!!
I am gonna be 38 in 6 months time too, and I promise you girl, I'm gonna keep going as long as I can, cos once you lose the ability to have babies,(you've had it - pardon the pun!!!for me personally anyway, that's when you're gonna step on to the roller coaster that'll wisk you off to old age!!! So i'm gonna push prams for a few years more, I hope!!! My grey hairs are already a pain in the you know where tho, so have to get it coloured in case i'm mistaken for grandma!!!!

Great post Rosequartz, it's really inspiring! I'm on my first and have so many worries.

My consultant has said he wants to give me an early epidural as he thinks he needs the maximum amount of time between contractions to get the epidural in because of my weight, but honestly, does a light covering of fat on your lower spine make any difference? Did they have any problems doing the epidurals on you?

I don't even know whether to go for an epidural anyway, if I had to have it that early I wouldn't even know how bad labour pains really are. And you've been through it 7 times, so it can't be that bad (can it???)

Did you get more tired during labour because of your weight? What I'm worried about is getting knackered and not being very mobile because I'm exhausted, and then them saying "well, we'll have to do a section cos you're crap"

Sorry for picking your brains, but you sound like you know your stuff!

Sorry to nudge in banana but discuss the life out of this early epidural thing before you agree to it.

Once you have an intervention you increase the likely hood of requiring another. (This holds for all women). If you have an epidural you won't feel the pain, sure, but you won't be able to stand (or sit) you'll be lying down with a monitor on. In short, you're not in a good position to labour horizontally. This can (I stress not in all cases but enough for it to be something for you to consider) set you on a path that leads to other interventions.

Four questions a midwife told me were useful both before and during labour were:

what are the pro's of doing this?
what if I were to wait and have it later?
what are the alternatives that i could consider?
what if I don't do this at all?

Be prepared to check what you hear with a reliable source too as (hate I to say it) I've heard an awful lot of one sided BS from so called medical professionals who basically want you to comply with what they want you to do.

Also, you don't have to stand to labour or give birth. What about a pool (to labour in - water is supposed to provide great pain relief and you will be floating so you won't be exhausted by supporting your own weight) a lot of hospitals have pools or you could hire/buy one and take it in with you.
You could sit on a birthing ball, helpful as you will have gravity on your side, it'll take your weight, and you can be busy moving into lots of different positions to help you birth your baby.

Don't take what your consultant says as the law without discussing all your options.

Sorry the first question should read what are the pro's and cons of doing this

My epidural was put in with minimum fuss other than my spine being a sneaky thing and getting in the way when the anaesthetist was doing the needle jabbing.

Early epidural my arse. Unless you want one tell them to keep their distance until you are ready. They cannot administer it unless you consent (with the usual caveat about life threatening situations etc.) so stick to your guns m'dear.

Agnes

Agree with Easywriter. I had an epidural because I was exhausted to such an extent that I was getting rather unwell with myself. It did lead to continuous monitoring though, as they go hand in hand.

Make sure you make an informed choice. Go grill your midwife, and only listen to your consultant if you really have to.

Agnes

hi bananabump,
first off, you asked if having a bit of extra fat around your spine would make it difficult to get the epidural in...to answer that question all I can say is this - I don't think there are many pregnant women around with the same extreme weight problem as I have, and to make things a little more difficult, most of my weight is around my middle. I won't pretend that the epidural was thrown into my spine like a dart, but it did get in there and it worked like magic. I've heard some women say it didn't work for them, but it did work both times for me.
You then asked what the pain of giving birth is like......well, without the epidural, it feels like you are gonna bloody well die!!!(bear in mind my biggest baby weighed 12lbs.9ozs though) sorry I know that sounds horrible, but having said that I have to admit that I am no hero when it comes to pain, I am a big baby really!! But whilst not wanting to scare you, it really really hurts like hell, especially when the shoulders and head are born, its like an extreme burning/stretching/ really horribly painful experience. BUT many women go back for more! To be quite honest though, I would like to have an epidural, and would have liked with my last 4 babies as well, but I felt sooo guilty having had so many babies and still need the ultimate in pain relief!! If I have the guts this time round, I will deffo ask nicely for the epidural, as its much nicer and a lot more ladylike to not scream til the hospital roof caves in!!!In previous deliveries I had diamorphine/pethidine, with the diamorphine i don't remember much as was too high on gas and air (that is great stuff!!) but the pethidine, dunno if I got it too late, but it didnt' ease the pain at all for me, and I would never have that again as I was sooo drowsy for ages afterwards, and the worst thing about it, was the fact that they had to give my baby a drug to stimulate her due to the effects of the pethidine, so never again.
The other question you asked regarding tiredness - throughout pregnancy I am sooo tired, its unbelievable how I manage to funcion at all to be honest, good job dh helps out around this place. But to answer the question you asked, I was up and running almost immediately after giving birth to each and every one of my babies, and I don't recall getting tired during labour either. I'm sure the excitement of it all kept me going though. The midwives are often amazed at me dashing about straigh after giving birth, secretly though it might be psychological more than anything due to the fact that everyone seems to expect the bigger women to just sit there and have no energy whatsoever. Prove them wrong girl. You don't say how much of a weight problem you have either? If you want to tell me then I shall compare your little problem to my mega problem, and so hopefully make you feel a little better as a result. I'm not trying to push you though, if you want to tell me then do, if not then that's alright.
But please don't worry about anything, the weight is nothing to worry about in pregnancy and giving birth despite what the do-gooders tell you. Remember that I was seeing a consultant for infertility prior to starting our family, and he was particularly nasty and told me that I would NEVER get pregnant at my weight, and refused point blank to give me fertility drugs, stating that for me to become pregnant at my weight would create a medical emergency (must admit I was 22stone at the time though)
But, I didn't set out to lose any weight, I was determined to get pregnant naturally, and that I did....7 times over!!
Interestingly enough, I always lose around 3 stone after giving birth though, and thankfully do not gain much throughout pregnancy. It doesn't take me long to indulge though so the 3 stone or so soon finds its way back to familiar places!!
Don't worry hun, you will be fine, if you don't have the epidural then you can always scream the place down, just like I do!!!!! I warn them to get some ear plugs!!!I could do with some of that gas'n'air at home though!! oh bliss, seems to take you well away for a little while, and then you're back down to earth with a bang!!
Do'nt forget these are my experiences though, and the fact that I have had many children definitely doesn't mean I know everything, doubt if anybody knows all about it no matter how many kids they have. I'm sure every mother would tell you that its a totally different birth story for each and every child they give birth to.

with my epidurals in first two deliveries, I have to add that no further intervention was necessary in my case. It might have taken a little longer for the babies to arrive, but so what, arrive they did - eventually!!

bananabump - how many weeks pregnant are you hun? sorry if I missed it somewhere!

not wishing to sound daft, but did the consultant tell you that THEY wanted to give you an early epidural? If so, then what the hell are they on about.....dunno if its different in your area, but here the consultants don't go anywhere near that side of the bargain, its the anaesthetists who sort out the epidurals? I wonder if its different in other places? Come on Bananabump put me out of my misery!!Where abouts are you anyway?

Hi, sorry was off doing some bits of housework, missed all the posts! Thanks for all your responses, it's appreciated.

I'm 35 weeks pregnant, 25 yrs old and size 26/22stone before getting pregnant (god knows what I am now) it wasn't planned, I would have wanted to lose some- well, a lot! - before getting pregnant if I'd have had the choice.

Sorry you're absolutely right, it was the anaesthetist who was talking about giving me an early epidural, not my consultant (I end up seeing a different consultant every time I go in anyway!)

By the way, I just wanted to say how angry I was reading about your experience with that shitty sonographer. I had a similar (but not one tenth as bad) experience with one at a growth scan a few weeks back, who tried to say I might be too heavy for the large metal table that I had been scanned on three times previously, and then blamed my weight (several times, just in case -ohmygod!- I wasn't aware I had a weight problem) for her crapness. None of the other sonographers before or since had had a problem seeing what they needed to see!

Glad you had her sorted, there's no need for that kind of nastiness, it's just pointless, it's not as if you can make the flab disappear for ten minutes while they scan you!

Everyone else has been ok with my weight to be honest, which is lucky for them because since the attitude of that sonographer, I've been just waiting for one of them to say something unnecessary, and I'll have a right go! We all know we're overweight, don't need a lecture, especially when you can't diet/excercise much because of the baby.

So you would recommend an epidural then? I'm not going to try pethidine, I've never heard ONE woman say it was any good. Sometimes I think maybe I should go for it, after all, all I'd be missing out on was the pain, and as you've said, it's probably going to feel overwhelmingly horrible so is there any point in being brave...? (I'm not very!)

But then as Easywriter pointed out, it could be the start of a load of possibly unnecessary intervention, I really didn't want to be flat on my back, or having incessent fetal monitoring etc. My choice would have been a waterbirth but there are no birth pools at hospital and you can't take your own as the labour ward is upstairs and the floors aren't insured to support the weight. And of course, a home birth is out, even though I'm 100% healthy apart from the weight, no high blood pressure, diabetes or anything (still the consultant won't let me out of his sight)

Bloody hell, I think I've caught your writing bug, Rosequartz!!

I'm in Wrexham, N Wales, where are you?

bananabump, i'm on the island of anglesey, also in north wales then eh!!! My god, us north-walians don't half ramble on!!!
No sure of the distance between Anglesey, well say from Bangor to Wrexham as that might be easier to calculate. Have to admit geography is yet another subject that I failed miserably!!
If not really too far to travel it might be an idea to meet up if you want to and feel up to it some time.
Going back to previous post, please don't worry about your weight - you really mustn't let it ruin your pregnancy and birth experience you know. Thank your lucky stars that you are healthy, that's the main thing, at least we can do something about our weight problem should we wish to, when you feel a bit down about it, just spare a thought for the poor people who are suffering serious health problems.
That is what I force myself to think whenever I feel a bit down, but one thing that annoys me is the fact that I never do feel down about it unless some low-life chooses to remind me in the cruellest possible way about it.
And also please don't let my birth stories without epidural put you off trying without one, or if there's a problem with it. I'm sure you will find that when the time comes, you will be so excited and desperate to hold that little baby you've cooked for 9 long months, you will sort of fall into a 'whatever will be will be' kind of attitude, and the only thing on your mind will be to get the little one out safe and well. Please don't worry about it, come what may, you will cope, you will get through it, my threshold of pain in close to non-existent remember!! And look how many times I've gone back for more, and hope to have more if all goes well!! DH will need some convincing though, as had to threaten him with having to replace him with another man in order to have more babies if he didn't do as he ws told!!xx
Take care xx

All the scans I have ever had have been on the normal bed/couch they do them on, so that's a bunch of balls for a start.

Also, it is unprofessional in the extreme to mention anything about your build unless you mention it first. I'm blase about my weight so usually offer to hold anything that's in the way and we work round things like that.

Not shy me

Agnes

You only have about 5 weeks til your due date then..aaaaawwwwwwwwww exciting!! Do yu know what it is? Or do you want to keep it as a surprise?
I didn't realise you were so close to popping!!! sorry!!!
Bloody hell what are they moidering about saying they thought the beds wouldn't take the weight, what the hell do they think they have as patients, bloody elephants! Don't listen to them, listen, I have already told you my weight in all pregnancies, and trust me, there's been no problem with beds crumbling underneath my bulk, they know full well that you won't damage their damn beds, its just another way of being pathetically spiteful. Tell them to grow up for goodness sake.
Well, don't you think if you were going to damage hospital beds or whatever, that you would have done so by now.
More than likely you won't have gained much in pregnancy though you know, well thats usually true in my case.
You are so close now hun, soon you will have your gorgous little baby, and it will all have been worthwhile. And you never know, you might lose a substantial amount of weight following delivery also.
Don't worry, BE HAPPY!!!

Good god woman, how many are you planning on having? lol (Are you one of those who wants her own football team?)

I grew up in Anglesey from age 3-15 (We lived in Gwalchmai, went to school in Llangefni) dp and I had a visit in march but nothing was open. I should have remembered that Anglesey is "closed" for 9 months of the year! lol

Yeah we should organise some kind of North Wales MNetters meet up, we could all meet in Bangor or something, it's not that far on the train, although it'd be good to wait til baby is here as at the moment I'm a bit crippled with spd and can't walk very far.

Oh the joys of pregnancy, eh?

oh bananabump, forgot to add, you make me feel sick...............you are only 25, my god I wish I was 25, I am 12 years ahead of you girl, that alone must give you one hell of an advantage over me.... Given that we are around the same weight. God i wish i was your age girl, you are just a kid next to a geriatric like me!!
Are you going to have somebody with you at the birth or are you going to go it alone?
Thinking of you xx

heh, sorry, x posts...yeah, 5 weeks to go. Can't wait!

Next time I will deliberately try to break their shitty (metal industrial strength) bed with the power of my fat bum, just to spite them lol

Well, dp will be with me, I think he's just as scared as I am to be honest, but I'm sure it'll be ok. I mean people go through it every day, and some come back for more, like you said!!

oh no you have spd, do you know what, i suffered with that throughout my first 4 pregnancies. I had mentioned it several times to mw as I found it difficult to walk, stand and sit, and don't even mention turning round in bed, it was excruciating! And like I said, I suffered all that time, I eventually saw another mw and she spotted it straight away, phoned the hospital immediately and got me an appointment with the physiotherapist the following morning.
The treatment consisted of something a bit like an ultrasouns scan type of thing, can't remember what it's called, but they pass this 'thing' over your pelvic region and it only takes about 10 minutes or so. It eased for me from the very first treatment, but physio recommended I went back for 2 further 10 minute treatments over the next 2 days, and this is going back to november 2003 no, and i'm glad to say I've got rid of it ever since. Please don't suffer. And don't listen to anybody telling you its weight-related because it damn well isn't. Ask to be seen by physio, maybe you can bear it now as you've only 5 weeks to go, but it might still persist following delivery,(physiotherapist told me that it would be safe to do during pregnancy as well as its only sound waves like an ultrasound scan you have in pregnancy) also when I was suffering i joined the spd support group, and they advised on ways to help ease the pain, how to get up properly, keeping your legs together and then swinging your body round to sit on the bed before getting up, slowly. Said also to make a note of it in pregnancy notes to inform doctors/midwives delivering your baby.
Please don't suffer for ages like I did, its totally unnecessary. Trust me the pain of spd is far worse than giving birth, for one thing look how long you have to suffer with spd compared to giving birth. Its really horrible to be in so much pain constantly.

Hey, that's reassuring "the pain of spd is worse than birth" I like that! lol (wishful thinking)

Yeah it's a bit of a pain in the arse, I've suffered with it since I was about three months pregnant. I did mention it to the consultant but he seemed to be of the opinion that it was "one of those things" and it would probably get worse by the end. He said if I was having serious problems walking to come back and we'd discuss physiotherapy but to be honest he had a bit of a "what do you expect" attitude about it.

Never heard of the treatment you recieved for it though, I thought they could only do physiotherapy (cracking bones and deep massage etc) or give you a support belt? If it carries on after the birth I'll nag them about it.

I will mention in in my birth plan though because I find it difficult moving about/climbing into bed etc My pelvis also makes cracking noises when baby stretches too, which is nice!!!

It's a boy by the way, according to the scans anyway. We're probably going to call him Elliot. So far he's 4 1/2lb so doesn't sound like he's going to be a big one, unlike your 12lb 9oz whopper! (enough to bring tears to your eyes! lol)

LOL my god you've made me laugh bananabump, I have visions of you deliberately going out of your way to wreck their precious beds! oh stuff em!! You are one hell of a character - no doubt about that! You have such a wicked sense of humour!
Do you think we might have been twins in a past life..........well flippin heck most things about us are identical.
So long as I don't wreck the beds its alright, omg that would be the end of me! Knowing me I'd kill myself laughing, the shock would be enough!! Can't you just see their faces though......got a better idea for you hun - rather than damage their beds maybe we ought to sit on the horrible people who spite us instead!! He he that would shut them up!!

Heh, well you've got to have a sense of humour about it all when they treat you like some whopping great hippo. Oops, we've probably scared the op away now with stories about fat phobic hospital staff! They're not all like that honestly!

Anyway, I'm off to bed now but thanks for the chat, nice to know I'm not the only lumpy lady on MN! G'night!

hahahahahah lol will you behave!! I am going to go into labour here just through laughing at your posts, flippin heck you are nuts!!!
So you reckon I want my own footie team then, just you wait girl, just you wait. I remember being exactly where you are right now, and I promised myself that I would NEVER have another! Look where I am today, and you will also catch the bug babe, you wait and see!
So its a little boy eh, Elliot is a lovely little name, so he's not a big boy then is he......next time babe, next time! My first was only 7.9. - my 2nd had jumped to 12.9.! Hey I am not kidding with that spd being worse than labour pains, flippin heck I have never experienced such excruciating pain than when I had spd. I would rather give birth to sextuplets(all together!!). I do sympathise with you, if the weight of my baby (being bigger than my xmas turkey)brings tears to your eyes, then the memories of spd, which you are suffering from , brings a hell of a lot more to my eyes. Oh god, get it seen to, its no joke at all.
Anyway I am going to bed now, gotta get up early tomorrow to sort kids and get them off to school, and even more importantly dh is getting impatient here, as he has fed the baby in anticipation of what he hopes to get up to..................well I shall have to invent a headache for tonight!! Good night, we shall hopefully catch with out chatting tomorrow, bye xx

sorry I am barely awake here, I meant to say we will catch up with our chatting tomorrow, it seems that I have typed anything but!! ohhhhhh i'm sooooo tired. xx