Failed pregnancy

[MrsC19]

On Thursday I returned from my two week honeymoon. The day before I left I started bleeding which was startling but I telephoned my midwife and was told it was very common and not to worry. That was obviously easier said than done and I spent the whole time googling my symptoms. Id decided that because the blood was brown, I wasn’t experiencing any pain and still very much felt pregnant I should try and relax, and everything should be fine (google had a lot to answer for) However because I’m such a worrier I decided to book a private scan for the day I returned.

On Thursday I had the scan and was told a whole lot of information which I don’t really remember now. I read the words ‘failed pregnancy’ on the notes and was told there is an empty sac which is why my body still thinks I’m pregnant, she was also unsure when this happened but guessed 8 weeks. I should have been going for my 12 week scan on a Tuesday next week, however I am now waiting for the EPU to contact me about what happens next.

I am feeling so many emotions, I’ve cried non stop, I’m worried about going back to work on Monday and something happening while I’m there, I’m scared of the pain physically and mentally, and worried about what the future holds. Worst of all I feel stuck in limbo, like there is absolutely nothing I can do until it’s all over and I have no idea how long that will be.

I suppose I am looking for some comfort because although miscarriage is common, no one I am close to has experienced it.

So sorry to hear that your experiencing this. It’s an awful position to be in and have been there myself four times. Trust me, as awful as this is you will get through it.

If you are looking for advice and support there is a Miscarriage section under the Body & Soul section of Talk on Mumsnet. Lots of wonderful people there if you need to share experiences and emotions.

First things first, have you been given any information on your options? Typically there are three available to you; a natural miscarriage, where you allow your body to reject the pregnancy on its own; a medically managed miscarriage, where medication is given to you to prompt the body to miscarry or a EPRC, where the pregnancy is removed under local or general anaesthetic. All options have advantages and disadvantages, it’s about selecting the best option for you.

Hopefully if you have had contact with your local EPU they will help advise on the options and timescales associated.

In terms of work on Monday, I would consider giving yourself some time and space to deal with the miscarriage and the emotions that come with it. You need to be gentle with yourself. Don’t rush back to ‘normality’ and don’t let anyone make you feel that you cannot or should not grieve this pregnancy.

{{{big hugs}]]