Help in dealing with this.

[2kidsmaybe3]

my bf was arrested cuz my neighbor called 911 cuz he hit me (bipolar disorder/depression unmedicated)(holiday drinking Jan1st).. Physical evidence. I was in a state of shock n got him out n locked the door. i was displeased 911 was called and too late for me to stop it as I was in shock. There is a restraining order, i want it dropped.. I want him to get a lesser of a charge instead of a DV assault.. Holiday drinking (jan 1st) is mostly to blame besides hiving bi-polar and not taking his meds properly. He has been doing overall really well in trying to go forward and trying to make his life better. His sister bailed him out and she stated that he is going to say he felt "trapped" cuz he was against the unlocked door and me.... (calling vulgar names in front of the kids (kids in other room when he punched me), asked to stop but wouldnt so he was asked to leave (take a walk, go chill) but wouldn't so he was corralled towards the door and as he kept trying to go thru me, he would bounce of me n keep going backwards).. 1st court date has already happened. And also 5 days later i found out im pregnant and need to speak to him F2f somehow (just him and I) to discuss our options. Time is running out if an abortion pills is the decision with us both agreeing. What do I do? I need help in this. We have a 1.5 year old which is his biological child and a 5yr old he is a gr8 step dad to. I feel its unfair to make this choice not knowing what he wants. Also on the 1st court date i tried for it to be modified for the restraing order and they know I am pregnant but the judge would not lift it in any way even the the lawyers thought there was no issue with it being modified.

For the sake of you and your kids (existing and fetus) please keep away from him.if he isn't prepared to get support for his MH issues, then you need to protect your kids.

He may be an amazing dad when properly taking his meds but until he is, your kids shouldn't be subjected to that.

As for the current pregnancy, what do YOU want to do? If his MH isn't stable he won't be able to make a properly informed decision. You need to have your mind clear.

Good luck with it all. must be very hard for you.

I think you need to focus on you and your children. It sounds like bringing another child into this very unstable home would be selfish. (I'm not saying you are). How do you think your 5year old feels having to watch all of this play out, the aftermath of what happened will be effecting your children. Keep strong and take a break from your partner, help yourself and your children.

I agree with the other posters. You need to put your 2 children and yourself first. Do you really want him around your kids if he (1) can’t manage his medication properly, (2) drinks heavily in front of the children, (3) calls you names in front of your children, (4) hits you, (5) won’t even accept that he is at fault when he’s arrested and brought before a judge.

Honestly I don’t think you should continue with your current pregnancy as you have enough to deal with, but only you can make that decision.

well It was decided that by the time I give birth, my almost 6yr old will be in school, my 2yrplus will be in a day care program. i have many supports in place and just cannot go thru an abortion in any way.. Without him is fine.. Might even be better that way :)

HIM: u cant give birth to this child.. cuz u have a more likely hood to die giving birth this time. So no i dont want this child. When it comes to you or the child.. i dont want this child. MY REPLY: u know that is BS and just in case it was true, I would live on thru them.. HIM: no, not happening.. Im not chancing you die giving birth. He said this like 3 times. i even replied once, "like u could care, u dont want me or this child so wtf does it matter?".. he said "cuz it does."

Whatever that means.. Yeah yeah he cares Im the mother of his children I guess... SMH.. When we talked he kept flip flopping on getting an abortion or give him a week to think about it cuz he doesnt know... In the middle of that He would say, I dont believe in abortion but I also dont think I can care for another kid..

So with all this coming from his mouth.. I would just rather not bother with him, Set things up for my kids and I and simply focus on US!!

This relationship sounds toxic. Get out of it. I wouldn't want that sort of example to show my children of what is acceptable, because it's not.