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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant with second baby.. angry and overwhelmed

3 replies

spacefacexxx · 10/01/2019 09:41

I'm just really struggling to come to terms with this pregnancy. It was (obviously) unplanned and at first I felt totally numb. Now I'm getting my head round it a bit I just feel angry and scared. I had a bleed a few weeks ago (I'm 8 weeks now) and was referred for an early scan. Seeing a little heartbeat on the screen didn't fill me with joy like it did with my son (whose only 7 months btw and is the worst sleeper in the world). I didn't even get upset when I started bleeding, I was just numb. I also bled with my first at around the same time and I was absolutely heartbroken thinking I'd lost him. So I feel so guilty for feeling like I do. I'll of course love this baby although it has to be said I'm scared I won't love this baby like I love my son. I get so angry especially at night when I'm up for the millionth time with my son and I think how the HELL am I going to cope with another baby on even less sleep? It completely overwhelms me and I just want to run away and it makes me not want to be a parent. How fucking horrible is that. I know I should probably go and speak to my GP but the last time I went when I thought I was struggling with PND she dismissed it for sleep deprivation so I'm reluctant to get help again. I can't even bring myself to look at that early scan picture anymore. Before anyone suggests abortion/adoption please just don't. I'm not suggesting that's what I want, I don't at all. Guess I'm just looking to see if anyone can relate/has been in a similar situation? I know these things have a way of working themselves out. Oh and another factor is that about a month before I found out about this baby I was offered my dream job that I'll be starting in March. So that's another huge factor in why I'm feeling so crap, I'll only be in this job about 3 months before I go on maternity leave again. So financially I don't know what we're gonna do. I'm going to have to sell my car which is gonna suck because I'll literally be stuck. I Iive in a different city to all my family and friends so I heavily rely on my car. I don't have much help from family as it is, I don't have much family. All I have really who can help me is my mum and bless her she helps me as much as she can but she looks after my Nan as well as working a full time job. My partner works awful shifts and does a stupid amount of hours so he helps me where he can and gets up with him when he can but most of the time it's all on me. Maybe I am just sleep deprived? I honestly don't know. I am inclined to think it runs a bit deeper than that though. I just don't enjoy anything I used to. Another thing is the sickness. I had hyperemesis with my son so it's constantly on my mind that it's gonna flare up this time around and then I've completely fucked it because how am I going to look after my son?! So far it's manageable, I'm taking ondansetron I have left over from last time which is helping. I sometimes have to just leave him crying for 5 minutes though while I'm stuck throwing up with is awful. Just hoping it doesn't get any worse.

OP posts:
Endofrelationship · 10/01/2019 10:05

Hello. I'm 36 weeks with DC2. Unplanned, unwanted. Though DC1 is 3. I just wanted to say aren't alone.

I went to my 12 week scan and felt nothing. I've been massively up and down all pregnancy and whilst I'm now fairly happy to be having another child, I have a feeling of dread regarding birth and those early months (things got better between 8 and 12 months with DS).

I also had undiagnosed PND. Like you, it was considered sleep deprivation (which was horrific, but not the only thing going on). The midwives this time have been very understanding and have taken me at my word that it was PND, and I now have AND, though untreated currently I am on 'mood watch'.

Please seek help for the PND, I didn't and it robbed me of so much joy and has made me fearful in this pregnancy.

All the best.

Yakadee · 10/01/2019 10:07

Sorry you're feeling this way, sounds like you have a lot on your plate and little support (not your partners fault) which must be so tough. I really agree that you should talk to your midwife / someone as they may be able to offer you some help / support. Xxx

Honeybee79 · 10/01/2019 10:42

Hi. Currently 39 weeks with unplanned DC3. I'm having an elective section tmrw! I was utterly horrified when I found out and we agonised over a termination. I have felt better and a bit more excited as the pregnancy has progressed. I really want to meet her now but I am remain terrified of the early weeks and months. I feel sick when I think about it. I so suppose I am prepared for it and as my expectations are so bloody low then it might be OK.

Share your concerns with your midwife. I wish I had done more of this as I suffered awful anxiety at the start of the pregnancy.

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