helovesmehelovesmenothelovesme ·
09/01/2019 20:20
Hi all,
Please be gentle. I've just got a positive test this evening which makes me about 4 weeks. I had fertility treatment to have DD following a long period of infertility. She is now 18 months & has had significant health issues which were picked up on antenatal scans although is doing very well now after a very rocky road (relevant to my uncertainty currently)
DH & I had planned to attempt fertility treatment towards the end of 2019 as I have a lot of work trips etc planned and training away from home between now and June & had been told there was no way of naturally having babies (we had years of trying prior to DD but treatment worked very quickly). I am shocked that this has happened naturally (we use protection despite the risk being minimal but had a tear on Boxing Day which we thought nothing of due to my history) & have 2 concerns. One is that I have been taking (prescribed) medication which causes severe birth defects (not the cause for DD's issues- cause is unknown for that) but I don't think I could deal with a repeat or the uncertainty of waiting for scans to know. I struggled to cope last time round & it had a severe impact on my mental health & I'm only now coming out of the other side. I also had hyperemesis last time & was bed bound for many months. I work and have lots of work trips/training events coming up which I have to attend & have no family help.
I've called Marie Stopes and have a counselling appointment next week. I don't know what to do. On one hand, I know i can't deal with another pregnancy like last time having been taken the medication & all the uncertainty like last time (we found out at 20 weeks) but on the other, I needed fertility treatment before, I am in a secure job, secure relationship etc. DH knows and says he completely understands either way but is torn. I'd so much appreciate any past experiences/thoughts/perspectives. I don't feel I can tell any friends as they know about the previous fertility struggles. Thanks for reading if you've got this far & I'm so sorry if this isn't the right place for this thread 