I've had 4 losses and a healthy son who is nearly 4. 3 of the miscarriages were after he was born, which somehow made it worse as i was hoping he'd have a sibling and i felt like id let him down.
OH and i had a load of nhs and private investigations which brought up issues for both of us. We knew the chances of having another healthy pregnancy was low and told (by a private fertility clinic) that ivf was our only real hope. We decided against it. I couldnt put us through the emotional turmoil and having to fund it ourselves was a factor.
We were a bit gutted but ready to move on.
We were about to get a puppy but then ...im pregnant.
My new consultant (nhs) is amazing. Really positive. Im on new meds with weekly scans starting next week. I know we could have what we really want but im too scared to get my hopes up.
I am hating every second of this. Im only 5 weeks and hating the fragmin injections i have to give myself. I just feel this pregnancy is doomed and feel sick when i think of next weeks scan, thinking of all the babies which i only ever saw on scans.
OH is being a nightmare. Also really negative and constantly asking for text updates on how im feeling. I feel like hes also written off this pregnancy, though he wont say it.
I dont know how to cope with this. Anyone been through similar?