Arrangements with existing children when in labour?

[Leafy2018]

Hi,

I'm nearly 36 weeks pregnant with our third baby and reality is starting to hit with regards to arrangements for our elder two dc (11 and 8) when labour begins. My parents live half an hour away and I will obviously phone them at the first twinge to give them maximum time to get here. Our hospital is 30-60 minutes away depending on the time of day and traffic so we will need to get going fairly quickly ideally. I've asked a friend if she can be on standby if we need to leave before my parents can get here but she works so I'm not sure how practical that will be at all times to be honest. I'm worried it might happen during the night and then I'm not sure what I'd do with dc if things were progressing quickly (first labour 10 hours, seeing about 4 hours.)

What did others do if their parents or whoever was helping wasn't just around the corner? This is the first baby we've had in this area - previously my parents lived two roads away so this was a non issue!

Also - what happens in regards to existing children coming to see the baby if it's during school hours? Or if it comes overnight? Would schools generally allow them time to come to see the baby in hospital?

Thanks for any insight!

You have similar travel distances to me for both the hospital and parents. They are also in the opposite directions which I’m not sure if your situation is the same.

I plan to call my parents as soon as I think I am in labour (I’m expecting it to be quick) and if they cannot get to my house before we have left for the hospital then we will take the children to the hospital and meet them there (DH will wait with them whilst I go in if necessary), so they can take them back to their house. If you are going anywhere near your parents’ house though, can you drop them off on your way?

Hospital visiting hours are usually in the evening, so that should avoid clashing with school times.

If feasible I would have your mum come and stay. I was very glad I did when I delivered after a 2 hr labour (2nd baby)... only just made it to hospital with similar journey time!

@ZogTheOrangeDragon my hospital and parents are also in completely opposite directions! Only just realising this could be rather problematic. I may suggest the same with taking children to hospital if really no time or it's in the middle of the night (I really don't have a close enough friend here that I could ask to come out at that time) but that really wouldn't be ideal as I think my eldest would be quite frightened no matter how calm I was!

@moreismore that has crossed my mind about asking my mum to stay but if it could be anytime from 37 weeks isn't that a rather big ask? When did your mum come to stay from?

Could you head into hospital in a taxi as soon as you think you've gone into labour, with dh waiting at home for your mum? He can then follow on in the car the minute she pulls up

My waters broke at 4am and because I had a meconium showing they wanted me to come in. I got my husband to drive out two year old to my parents house (30 mins away). By the time he got back I was worried I wasn’t going to make it to hospital (first birth child midwives had kept saying labour would take ages etc) when we got there I was 8cm dilated. Luckily our hospital is only 10 mins away.

Otherwise is there a hospital close to your parents’ house that you could transfer to and drop your children off on the way?

Or could you have a chat with a neighbour and ask them if they would mind staying in your house whilst your parents came to collect the children if it was overnight? Theoretically it should only be for half an hour or so and your children would hopefully remain asleep and unaware, so when they woke up your parents would be there.

Yeah she came at 39 and I delivered at 41.... it’s a gamble! Our backup was to meet in-laws at hospital with the kids

I would ask a neighbour. Most people would be more than willing to help out for an hour until your parents come to take over. Your children are school age, do they have friends near by whose parents might help?

@TulipsInbloom1 I really don't think I could do that - the hospital is 30 mins away minimum and I'm be really vulnerable and self conscious going in a taxi without my husband. I'm already imagining a taxi driver having to deliver my baby at the side of the road! 

@hiptobeasquare that's exactly the situation I don't want to be in! I went straight to delivery when we had our second baby. You had obviously been doing a good job at home though!

@ZogTheOrangeDragon There is a hospital near my parents but it really doesn't have a good reputation - hence choosing the other one. The only other one sort of nearby (but still not on the way and quite a drive) to them is one I went to when I had a mc so we really don't want to go back there - and that was also very dated and a bit . Neighbour wise we only moved into this house five weeks ago. Typically the only person I c

I think you’ll have to ring your parents as the first thing you do and intend to meet them at the hospital but if they can get to your house in time that would be ideal.

Dammit!!

The only person I could ask in our road is moving in January! Sod's law. I have asked a school friend's mother but haven't heard back yet. The only other person I could ask (and our children would feel comfortable with) has three children under 5 and I just don't feel I can. It's the nighttime that's the issue - daytime I think will be manageable. But you've got to know someone really well to ask them to jump in their car and come over at 2am - even if it's just until my mum gets there!

Think you might be right @ZogTheOrangeDragon