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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Feeling anxious and scared about 12 week scan tomorrow :-(

27 replies

Pitterpatter01 · 06/01/2019 21:48

I had an early miscarriage back in August (5 weeks pregnant). I’m now almost 12 weeks pregnant, I had a scan at 8 weeks where we saw the heartbeat. I have my 12 week scan tomorrow morning, and I’m absolutely petrified that there will be no heartbeat or something else will be wrong. I feel so anxious, almost to the point where I don’t want to go because I can’t handle them telling me I’ve lost my baby. I know I’m being irrational, and I haven’t had any bleeding or pains. But I just can’t stop feeling like this :-(

OP posts:
hodgeheg92 · 06/01/2019 21:51

Once a heartbeat is heard then the chance of miscarriage greatly reduces. The chances are that everything will be okay tomorrow I knew that won't stop the worry tonight though. Are you going with someone?

Original poster
Pitterpatter01 · 06/01/2019 22:01

@hodgeheg92 yes my husband is coming. I’ve told him I’m really worried about it but he just doesn’t know what to say to me. I am also worried that even if everything is ok tomorrow I’m still going to be so anxious until the next scan aargh!!!!

OP posts:
Gunpowder · 06/01/2019 22:10

I always get really anxious too. It’s a sort of Shrodingers cat thing isn’t it? Until you have the scan you are simultaneously pregnant and not pregnant which is unsettling but better than being not pregnant.

One thing that helps me is knowing that the anxiety is in itself a symptom of pregnancy. There’re also websites where you can calculate the odds of a miscarriage according to gestation. Maybe a bit morbid but I found it comforting to see the percentage chance go down each day.

Good luck for tomorrow OP. Remember today you are pregnant and at this stage the odds are in your favour.

hodgeheg92 · 07/01/2019 05:05

Good luck today! Gunpowder is right, take each day as you are pregnant. It's hard but worrying is natural.

Expatworkingmum · 07/01/2019 05:19

I’ve been in the exact same position and completely understand how you feel. I remember telling my husband in the waiting room that I couldn’t breathe and wasn’t going to go for the scan.

One thing I would recommend is letting the sonographer know that you’d like them to tell you as soon as they see the heartbeat. Mine chatted on for an eternity about the olympics until I finally asked if the baby was ok and she seemed to be surprised I asked and had assujed i’d already realised that the baby was ok (but I hadn’t!)

Expatworkingmum · 07/01/2019 05:20

*assumed.

WhirlieGigg · 07/01/2019 05:36

I was petrified as well. But you have to realise that whatever they will find tomorrow has already happened. Not going to the appointment won’t make it go away. Be brave Flowers

cr1479 · 07/01/2019 06:14

You have my complete sympathies! after having a miscarriage with my first pregnancy I was always so anxious in between scans but particularly in the run up to them.
As others have said, seeing the heartbeat at 8 weeks dramatically reduces any risk. I had an early scan with my daughter just to try and ease my mind and although I was still worried, it did help!
I'm sure that everything will be fine but I know it's near on impossible to stop feeling worried.
Once I had my 12 week sans with both my DC I did relax quite a bit!
So after today you will be able to take a deep breath and start to enjoy your pregnancy a bit more!
Congratulations and all the best Thanks

Ragaroo · 07/01/2019 06:21

Good luck, remember all us ladies go through this, I had a mmc with no. 1 so I understand the fear. But as said above, you can't change what is happening inside you right now, just take a deep breath and remember that you need to get this part out the way and put your mind at ease x

TheSubtleKnifeAndFork · 07/01/2019 08:05

Good luck today OP! I've been in an almost identical position (as have many women) of being pregnant after a loss - my anxiety was through the roof at my 12 week scan, despite having had a positive scan at 9 weeks. It wasn't that much better at 20 weeks either, due to being worried about anomalies.

If it helps at all, if you saw a healthy baby with heartbeat at 8 weeks then the odds of pregnancy continuing are very, very favourable! There is a website somewhere (can't find it right now) that shows the data really well. I referred to that a lot during my first pregnancy! Obviously statistics don't tell you if your pregnancy is going to be successful, but I found the odds being heavily on my side a degree of comfort.

If it helps, it does get easier - when you feel baby moving that is a constant reminder that they're doing OK in there.

I sincerely hope all goes well with your scan today.

Original poster
Pitterpatter01 · 07/01/2019 09:05

Thank you so much for all of your replies, I really appreciate the reassurance. I’m currently filling my bladder in preparation, will let you all know how it goes xxx

OP posts:
OctoberGirl91 · 07/01/2019 09:21

Good luck for today, I had a loss at 7+4 in October and I've just got over 7 week mark again and I'm so anxious for any scans so completely get how you feel.

I'm sure everything will be fine especially after your early scan, good luck 💕

CottonSock · 07/01/2019 09:23

I was the same, despite weekly scans. Good luck and treat yourself afterwards

SSRainbow · 07/01/2019 09:26

What hodge said... once a heartbeat has been seen chances are good! Keep that in mind and good luck - let us know how you get on x

Buddytheelf85 · 07/01/2019 09:29

I know this doesn’t really help but I just wanted to say that I’ve got my first scan on Thursday and I feel exactly the same - paralysed with anxiety. Terrified of MMC. Terrified of problems. At the same time I absolutely can’t wait because once it’s over it’s over and we can tell people and it will all feel a bit more real.

I know that doesn’t help but I’m just trying to say I think it’s perfectly normal to feel like this!

Buddytheelf85 · 07/01/2019 09:29

Best of luck by the way Smile

yodelsay · 07/01/2019 09:39

Parenting is anxiety causing from conception til you die!! Every single step is scary.
Will be keeping everything crossed for you.

Springmummy19 · 07/01/2019 10:55

I'm a FTM and I am so so scared of something going wrong, just because of the length of time it took to conceive. I've had to really stop myself from googling every little thing I feel and hubby has told me off a number of times for being so panicky about everything and not enjoying the pregnancy. You just have to keep telling yourself that it will all be fine just be as positive as you can. Will keep everything crossed for you. x

Original poster
Pitterpatter01 · 07/01/2019 11:03

It was AMAZING! Everything all ok, took a while because baby was bouncing around all the time! Feel so relieved, thank you everyone. Sure I will be posting again with the same worries before my next scan Grin

OP posts:
Gunpowder · 07/01/2019 15:19

Yay! Congratulations OP.

yodelsay · 07/01/2019 15:22

Congratulations!!

Springmummy19 · 07/01/2019 15:29

Aww congrats. Just relax now

PivotPivotPivottt · 07/01/2019 15:31

Congratulations glad all was well. I had bad anxiety during my pregnancy after having a MMC. I was given 2 reassurance scans (at the hospital's insistance) before my 12 week scan. I had 3 private scans and my 20 weeks scan. I don't know how many times I went in to have the heartbeat listened to due to worrying about reduced movements. I was told that anytime I was worried to phone my midwife and she would be happy to listen in then when I started feeling movement I was told to go in if I was worried about movement. Never once was I made to feel a nuisance I was so embarrassed about going in but they told me everytime they'd be more annoyed if I stayed at home worrying. I was referred to a psychiatrist who dealt with antenatal mental health but it tooks months for the referral to go through and by the time I spoke to him I was almost at term. I also had to meet with him after my birth before I was discharged. Speak to your midwife about your worries there's a lot of support there for you Flowers

Original poster
Pitterpatter01 · 07/01/2019 15:33

Thank you everyone. We are going to tell our 6 year old tonight, can’t wait to see his little face xx

OP posts:
Giraffe888 · 07/01/2019 18:03

I’m like you. I had an early scan at 6 and 8 weeks and everything was fine both times and we heard a good strong heartbeat. I’ve got my 12 week scan next week and I’m soooo nervous about it. So pleased everything went well today for you x