Terrified c section

[Mum7b]

I am due to have my 7th baby and 3rd c section in approx 3-4 weeks and I am terrified. Just as I think I am ok anxiety kicks in and I feel I can't breathe, it's awful and I feel so stupid about it, I honestly feel like I am counting down the days until die 😞 not the days until I meet my little boy. I just don't know how to shake it. I have had 4 vaginal deliveries 1-4 and my last two were c sections 5 was breech and 6 was complications during VBAC which nearly resulted in us both dying. I am have a planned c section this time I honestly don't know how to remain calm has anyone else been like this ?

Is it the complications from the vbac you still feel traumatised by? I had forceps delivery with DS just shy of an emcs as had the spinal block given.

I'm terrified when I go into labour that I will take a panic attack worrying about the same thing happening. I'm actually considering asking for an ELCS and consultant midwife is very supportive. I'm only 27+6 so still some time to request it if I want to.

Did you ever get a debrief from the last birth to help you come to terms with It? A lot of women say this has helped. I didn't know you could get this!

Fwiw all my googling etc from other mother's experience of ELCS sound so positive calm and happy. I am sure it will be much better in comparison to the last time. Hope some mums with similar experience can reassure you x

An elective c section is not something you’ve had before by the sounds of it - you should be less likely to potentially die from this than any of your other births. It will all be fine.

I was a nervous wreck leading up to my ELCS with #2. Literally shaking like a leaf all the way down to theatre and throughout but the experience itself was fine.

In the lead up I would get teary playing with #1 because I got worked up about the what ifs about anything happening to me and not being there to see him grow up etc. I just couldn't shake it!

I had an EMCS with #1 due to a dropping heart rate and failure to dilate so I think I associated with the feelings of panic I had then but it was honestly nothing like it. Everything was at my pace and everyone was great taking the time to reassure she takes me through what was going on which helped a lot.

I'm also terrified of the idea of a general anaesthetic too which didn't help matters, thankfully managed without that!