Pregant with second and dreading it

[chicken2015]

I really hope im not alone in thinking this, the whole pregancy ive been dreading when she is born, i feel awful thinking it but we r going through a lot with seeing early signs of autism in our daughter who is 2. They are very clear and she is very different to peers. Im scared im going to have possiblely 2 SN children. I feel guilty for potentially bringing baby into world who might struggle and also worried about coping with both who struggle or one (our eldest.) I didnt enjoy my pregancy last time but was excited about meeting our baby daughter, i also did really not like first 6 months being at home on own with new baby, looking after my 2 year old is quite lonely as she doesnt commucate at all , its always lead by me and then not 100% its being understood or wanted. So people keep saying ur 2year old will keep u busy, well she doesnt initiate anything even needing anything (like drink or food, would just not drink or eat, i will initiate feeding giving her drink etc) so she is happy to sit on own and play. So quite undemanding, anyways im waffling im not sure what advice im after

Ive got 7 weeks left, i hoped these feelings would pass they haven't they have just got stronger.

I think what you’re feeling is quite normal @chicken2015 .
My ds is 5 and was diagnosed with autism at 3 and I’m currently pregnant with no. 2, I know 100% what you mean about feeling lonely. ds was about 3 and a half before he started talking and I remember feeling very lost and worried about the future and how he would struggle with school, friends etc. But from my experience it does get easier, once you get a confirmed diagnosis you get lots of support like speech therapy (which made a huge difference in him learning to communicate his needs) etc.id also say perhaps try and find an autism support group local to you? I found a few on Facebook and it’s really lovely to have people to talk to who are in the same boat as you.
The early bit of waiting for a diagnosis/support was definitely the hardest part for us.As far as worrying about struggling with 2 potentially sen children you’re not alone at all! It’s crossed my mind a few times, but I always think I wouldn’t swap ds for a neurotypical child so why would this baby be any different. And there’s nothing to say that this one will have sen.
I hope this is as reassuring as it can be! Try not to worry too much at this point as it’s out of your control x

Thank u both for replying and it it is reassuring to listen to someone gone through similar legomummy , i have joined a fb group for a group that does support grouo meet ups and will be going on 21st jan, im feeling it more lately as i am off work( teacher )and little girl is off pre school