34 weeks pregnant and lost my mum

[Iloveyoubabyredfern]

I’m not sure what I am excepting when putting this up , maybe just a hand to hold or maybe someone eles has sadly been threw this when I was 32 weeks pregnant my mother who I have cared for from the age of 7 got ill , we got her Into the hospital and things were looking up , the wedsday she told me to cancel all visitors as she wasn’t feeling great and just wanted me to be with her (I think she knew she was dying) I decied to spend the night with her never thinking for a minute on the events that were about to unfold I woke up to her gasping and everything happened so fast I shouted on the nurses and all of a sudden she was in ICU I was told that morning that I would lose her , she was my soul mate I have never been apart from her only her stays in hospital she lived with me and my husband , the next 3 days were watching her slowly die infront of me the though of witch has haunted me since I’m totally broken I suffered mental health issues before this all happened and had went to the doctors 2 weeks before she past because I felt like I didn’t want to be here anymore this has send my life into a tail spin I have had a high risk pregancy all the way threw and had a grown scan on the 24th of dec all is great with the baby I couldn’t open my eyes once in the hospital the smell made me want to be sick they doctors are highly concerned about how they are going to get me into give birth I am due a c sec as the baby is breach and I have strep b it has to be done in the hospital the though is haunting my every moment , I am kept a close eye on and the team are trying everything to make this happen but I don’t see me doing this I don’t know how I can I want to run away and give birth in a Felid somewhere I don’t want to do it please help

I don’t have any words of wisdom but I juts most wanted to say I’m so sorry about your mum.
You will have this lovely baby, and you will get through it. It will be tough, but you can do it.

I'm so so sorry you're going through this...Just reading it made me cry so I have no idea how you must be feeling.

In terms of getting your beautiful baby here safely, please don't pressure yourself, you have some time and just take each day as it comes. Spend the days now just getting through and when your C Section day comes know that is is going to bring you so much joy come the end of the day, nothing like the pain you experienced with your mum. Choose the music you'd like to be played, create a playlist special to you, take in pictures of your mum, comforting objects, whatever you may need. On the day break it into tiny chunks, you're going to get dressed, you're going to get in the car, you will arrive at the car park and take a deep breath and walk through the doors etc etc.

You absolutely CAN do this, because you're going to meet your beautiful Beautiful baby who will give you all the strength you need...until then, take baby steps just one day at a time.

You absolutely will do this and Every one will be so proud xx

I'm am so sorry
I was 33 weeks pregnant when my mum died 13 years ago now. I was also with her when she died and it was so traumatic, I went over and over her last moments in my head for a long time and it was so hard.
Having my baby helped me through it, I had something else to focus on.
I remember worrying that I would harm the baby or go into early labour because I cried so much but he was perfect when he was born.
You can get through this, 13 years on I still cry sometimes (I am now) but I can think of her without just sadness.

I think you need to focus on your midwife, tell them what has happened and make sure your dh let's staff at the hospital know as you arrive, they will understand and support you.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you lost your mum under awful circumstances. If it's any comfort at all, I sadly lost my mum on Christmas eve this year, I'm almost 27 weeks pregnant. Her death was not entirely unexpected as sadly she had lewy body dementia, but I truly believed she would meet her granddaughter. As you say you cared for your mum since you were a child, you must be a strong person, I hope that your husband and friends are supporting you through this difficult time. I intend to raise my daughter with some of the wonderful qualities I loved about my mum, to keep her alive and honor her memory. Xxx

One suggestion I have is for you to write down a message for your medical team so you don't have to keep telling people, especially when you are giving birth - that way if you are struggling your dh can explain by passing it over to them. Meanwhile concentrate on getting what you need done and try to focus on positive things - your mum will want you to be positive. You aren't alone, this unfortunately does happen, take care