Help a first time Mum! What do I need?

[xJune88]

Currently 21 weeks with a very much wanted baby girl after 2 losses :). Have no idea at all what I need to buy and what is just a waste of money and when do I need to start buying things?
Clothing? Nappies what size?! Wipes? Bedroom essentials? Literally clueless please help :) I plan to breast feed but am aware this isn't always possible. Do i still need bottles and an expresser and which one is best? Thankyou x

It's best not to go in to breastfeeding with that attitude op.

Of all of the many many Mothers I know (best friends are midwives so I know a LOT of Mums and new babies, NONE have not been able to breastfeed. Not one in 100s.

I'm in an area of the US where formula is really frowned on.

Buy muslins, and when you think you have enough buy more! I bought a really expensive breast pump, and then couldn't breastfeed for very long so wish I held off with that. I had bottles at home incase and tommee tippee perfect prep machine that was gifted to us (this was a godsend). X

Lots of wipes and lots of cheap tops for yourself as they will.get dribbled etc on. I used tommee tippee. I honestly would say if you can get your child to accept formula as well as breast milk. Mine did and it gave me the odd rest from the 2am feed

No advice as in the same boat 😂 just to say you’re not alone! We did a big boots shop at around 28 weeks with nappies, maternity pads, breast pads, cotton wool, nipple cream and other bits and bobs.

I haven’t bothered with newborn clothing (for a couple as gifts) but bab is huge so doubt they will fit, I have about 10/12 sleep suits and simple baby grows for day to day, plenty blankets and lots of muslins....

I’m also going to breastfeed but not planning on getting a pump for a while as I doubt I’ll express super early on.

There are so many choices with everything ... I figure if we have forgotten something it’s easy to get a next day delivery or send my partner out to the shop!

Thankyou for advice so far. I don't want opinions on breastfeeding and formula thanks. I'm just aware some women can't do it I have seen this first hand it's not choice just not an option so formula has to be used.

Cot, changing mat, drawers with changing table on top, wardrobe, baby bath, pram (travel system/carseat), moses basket, nappies, wipes, cotton wool, maybe a few bottles incase of formula or expressing, few baby grows, scratch mittens, socks, bibs, muslins, changing bag... am I missing anything major? xx

Oo thankyou @le42 didn't think about breast pads and cream will add to the list. And I'll hold off on the expressing machine think it's adviced to do 6 weeks just breast feeding anyway. Thankyou xx

Baby monitor, temperature thing for bedroom... when should I start buying?? X

@xjune88 - oh I also bought loads of big black knickers for me as my usual underwear is highly impractical 🙈

Don't get too much stuff before baby is here. The minimum is somewhere for them to sleep and a car seat if you use a car. Consider if you want a bedside cot, a Moses basket for downstairs etc.

Water wipes are good to begin with but quite expensive. Nappies - decide on a brand but don't buy lots. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere you can always get more when you know what you need. Buy the Newborn or Size 1 nappies.

Clothing wise, unless you know you're expecting a smaller or larger baby, go for newborn size but again don't buy lots. Supermarkets are good for multipacks of basic items. You'll need vests - short sleeve or long sleeve, plus sleepsuits/babygrows, a couple of hats, a couple of cardigans maybe and some blankets, cellular ones are good. Babies can stay in vests and sleepsuits for as long as you want before changing to outfits like trousers/tops/leggings/dresses.

Get some Lansinoh ointment for your nipples, it's a life safer. It seems expensive but you only need a tiny bit so one tube is likely to last you for a long time. You will probably also need breast pads to wear inbetween feeds in case you leak milk, this usually calms down after a few weeks. I disliked the throwaway ones and preferred washable fabric ones.

I wouldn't get any formula feeding stuff until you know you need it. Bottles and formula can be bought at any supermarket.

I wouldn't bother with drawers with a changing top, a baby bath, scratch mittens, wardrobe.. we had a Moses basket and did most changes on a changing mat on the floor or on a bed (depending on how rolly they were). Do think about the size of your car's boot when looking at prams - eBay is great for prams where people didn't think this through, and Moses baskets as they grow out of them quickly.

Grobags and a bath support are the only two things you're missing that I really liked

Hi @xJune88 FTM here as well, baby due any day now!

Essentials you need -

Somewhere for baby to sleep (I got the snuzpod bedside crib) & sheets/blankets/sleeping bag - I got cellular blankets and a grosnug which you can also swaddle in

Travel bits to get baby around (car seat, pram, wrap - depending on how you travel and what you want.) I got the Uppababy Vista system. Baby can nap in the carrycot during the day. Converts to a double if we have a second quickly. Nice big basket and loved the look of it! Got the Bsafe car seat to go with. Mirror to see baby when you're driving and she's in car seat. Haven't got a wrap yet will wait until herself arrives.

Clothes - I bought newborn and 0-3, you'll get lots of clothes as presents/hand me downs too so try to resist buying a lot. The essentials from the first month with baby is all you need ahead of time. Vests, Sleepsuits, hats, cardigans.

I'm planning to breast feed so haven't bought any bottles/formula. If the boob doesn't work out we can get the essentials in from any supermarket at short notice. For breastfeeding all I've got is nipple cream, breast pads and nursing bras.

Nappies - the size/weight on front will be your guide. Wait until nearer your due date and you'll have a better idea of estimated weight. Nappy cream, cotton pads, water wipes, changing mat, nappy bag

A few other non-essentials -

changing table (got mine free online to save my back with constant bending also came with baby bath)

nightlight, comfy chair for breastfeeding, first aid kit (thermometer etc), white noise app or teddy, toys for pram/car seat, etc

I'm sure more experienced mums will have better tips but that's what I've gleaned so far on here! Hope it helps!

By the way hope you have a relatively easy delivery

Congratulations OP :)

I found it helpful to;-
A) Back away from any list of "essentials" as it's very subjective to you/your baby what you actually need
B) Break it down into categories to make it less overwhelming.
C) Remember that shops will still be open afterwards and you or someone else can nip out for anything unexpected.

In the beginning all you need is:
Travel equipment - Group 0+/I-size car seat, lie flat pushchair and/or a sling

Somewhere to sleep - Moses basket/crib/cot/cotbed + mattress + 3 sheets and 2 blankets/swaddlers or sleeping bags

Food - breastpads, 2 bottles, sterilising equipment (lidded tub and Milton tablets will do), 2 cartons of ready made formula on standby

Clothing - 3 babygros preferably with inbuilt mitts, 3 bodysuits, 2 cardigans, 1 hat

Size 0 nappies, sensitive wipes/cotton wool.

Other things I found useful were a bath support so i could bath hands free and a vcushion (bought for comfort during pregnancy, then used for feeding, sleeping and propping baby up when she was learning to sit!).

You’ll need newborn (I’d say 5 in that size) and 0-3 month vests and baby grows, entirely your choice, depending on how much you wash clothes and your budget. Cardigans and a few hats (I’d go for 2 or 3 and from different shops to find the best fit), I wouldn’t bother with mittens and just get the babygrows with built in mits.

Nappies, babies need changing upto 10 times per day, I’d get enough nappies in to last you 2 weeks in the first size and a pack in the next size up incase of a chunky baby. Wipes I wouldn’t get too many as your baby may be sensitive to particular brands. I like water wipes and lots of brands are beginning to make their own more affordable version. Cotton wool pads for the first couple of days is usually recommended.

These might not be viewed as essential but I like to have them: a baby bath, top and tail bowl, soft hooded baby towel and a nicely padded changing mat.

For the bedroom: somewhere for the baby to sleep, be this a cot, crib or Moses basket. I’ve gone for a snuzpod so that I can have baby close to me but they are very pricey and non essential, my DD would wake in the night for comfort so thought that with a co-sleeper I could just place a hand on baby to soothe. You’ll need bedding for whatever you chose for baby to sleep in, my DD was very sickly and we went through a lot of sheets. Cellular blankets for swaddling and a grow bag (x2) once they’re big enough for the grow bag. A baby monitor.

A car seat if you drive or plan on getting a taxi home as they won’t let you leave without one if going by car.

Something to transport your baby in, be it a travel system, pushchair or baby carrier. I like big fancy pushchairs however these are non essential and down to personal taste and budget.

Maternity pads and pants, breast pads and laninosh cream (I also like nipple shields but midwives are against using these) and some decent feeding bras. Anything that you need for bottlefeeding is available in supermarkets or on amazon if you live rurally so unless you’re planning on FF then I wouldn’t get any of it, nothing wrong with formula feeding though.

I had my first baby in autumn. Even though I was 5 days late and he was what I thought was a reasonable 7lb he was still small and actually fitted in tiny baby size for two weeks - my SIL had bought us a multipack of tiny baby vests and sleep suits from Asda 'just in case' and i hadn't expected to need them.

They were a lifesaver as the last thing you want to do is go to the shops with a brand new baby. I'd actually recommend buying a pack of each from the supermarket and if your baby is straight into newborn then take them back and swap them for another size. Along the same lines we used size 0 nappies for two weeks as well - and again supermarkets will let you swap a pack for another size so maybe just get one pack in - for the sake of less than £1!

My mum got me a angelcare nappy bin which was reduced in mothercare to £5 and you can put dirty nappies in and it doesn't smell etc so saved me going out to the bin 10 times a day in those early days.

We've also got a kids mirror so I can see DS's face in the car when I'm driving. It reassured me as I was terrified whether he was breathing ok in the car seat every time I went out in those early days.

I'm breastfeeding and it's going really well but for my own peace of mind and a bit of reassurance I bought a couple of timer tipper bottles and a box of cow and gate - so I could have used it if I was struggling in the middle of the night. I mainly breastfeed but we do an expressed bottle each evening which DH gives. I bought an electric pump on amazon after I'd established breastfeeding as didn't want to buy it pre baby's arrival then end up formula feeding.

If you are breastfeeding you need to give baby vitamin D drops every day. I also had a supply of dentinox colic drops in the house before he arrived.

The grow bag sleeping suits are fab but even though they say 0-6m your baby has to be a certain weight to use them and ours was too small for the first few months. Gro do a newborn sleeping bag/swaddle which is great as it was easier to put him down once I'd got him to sleep and not wake him up tucking a blanket around him!

Maternity pads - I got 6 packs from boots as yet were always in 3 for 2 and that was enough.

Congratulations!

Get a nappy bin.

We would be lost without ours. It’s so handy to have somewhere to shove the used nappies when you’re changing baby and it keeps the smell at bay :)

We have 2.

Sling, baby grows and nappies that’s about it

Flip flops for your hospital bag. Seriously. You’ll be on a postnatal ward with loads of other women, all bleeding heavily. The cleaners do their best but you’ll want them for the showers. Also a drinking cup with lid for you for labour, as you end up in weird positions - one with a sports cap is good.

More big fat maternity pads than you think you need - at first you will be v grateful for them. Like a cushion in your pants. Switch to thin ones after a couple of weeks.

Get some tea tree oil and after the birth, twice a day sit in a shallow bath with a couple of drops in. Then dry your fanjo with the hairdryer on low. My midwife told me this trick and it really helps with healing.

Babies only need vests, sleepsuits, a cardi and a hat at first. Do not bother with cute outfits and def don’t take one to hospital. The thought of trying to wrestle your baby into anything other than a vest and sleep suit to come home in will make you want to cry.

Definitely Lansinoh. And start putting it on before and after each feed - don’t wait to see if your nipples get sore first. They WILL get sore and feeding will hurt at first,, but you soon get used to it. Bear with it as once you get it established it is much easier than formula.

Nappies - Aldi and Lidl are brilliant and so cheap. Their wipes are too. Don’t bother with pampers, ridiculously expensive.

A starter pack of bottles should be enough if combo feeing. I have four and use one a day with the rest of the time breast feeding.

One pack size one nappies.
Muslins.
Breast pads.
Vests and baby gros.
Baby monitor.
Swaddling wrap.
Cot
Moses basket
Wipes
Bouncy chair
Travel system and car seat
Thermometer
Nail clippers
Baby bath

I never expressed so I didn't not think pumps are essential!

I know people have said they never used theirs but I could live without my rocking chair! DD is 17 months now and I still use it loads

Oh I had a Chicco Mia bouncer for mine (now called the balloon or hoopla I think) and although non essential DD took all of her day time naps in there and it was so easy to rock/bounce without getting a sore arm.

I’ve had three babies and never used a changing table, just put the mat on the floor or the bed. Also only used a baby bath with my first, I found it easier to use a plastic bath support which you just put in the bath and sit the baby in, especially handy when you’re trying to wash two or three at a time 🙄

Nipple shields are a godsend for the first few weeks of breastfeeding. You might want to get a few pairs to see which fits your body shape best, I found Avent are very good.

You might find a flannel with warm water is better than cotton wool for cleaning up after the first few poos as these tend to be quite sticky and I found cotton wool just dragged on the skin and shed fibres everywhere. The flannel has a gentle exfoliating sort of action and is great for gently scrubbing off the poo.

I went in with the attitude that I would 100% breastfeed and actually couldn't in the end (discharged without much support) and so needed to send DH out for formula, bottles and steriliser while 3 day old baby wailed. Not fun so best be prepared in case.

We used lots of muslins (mopping up sick from reflux baby), and innumerable plain bodysuits and sleepsuits. If you can get the sleepsuits with zippers then that's great.

Some sort of sleeping aid e.g. Ewan the dream sheep or white noise app on phone.

Stock up your freezer.

Baby bouncer to put baby in while you have a shower.

Essentials for baby-

• car seat if you have a car
• something to carry baby in on the move
• sleepsuits, vests, one hat, blankets
• nappies, changing mat, something to clean babies bum with
• something for baby to sleep in with appropriate sheet and blankets plus spares
• Access to 24 hour supermarket with baby section and baby clothes with someone to send there, plus Amazon Prime membership.

If you want to use a sling/baby carrier/wrap don't just go and buy one. Either try one out or borrow one off a family member/friend or go to a sling library. I have more than one sling/baby carrier but mine are either what my OH has used before and second hand, or given to me and second hand. If you use a wrap it can count as one to three layers particularly if baby is under your coat as well.

You don't need cardigans for a baby unless you don't live in a centrally heated home. Changing small babies is difficult enough without having an extra layer to fight with. Use cellular blankets if you need extra layers in a pram/car seat or you can get special shaped car seat blankets.

Borrow/get clothes of family members and friends. As if an item doesn't suit your child or lifestyle you haven't wasted money on it. Luckily reasonably warm winter as I end up fighting to get DD into a pram/snow suit and I have different ones that were given to me including one with a velcro fastening.

I also change my baby's nappies on the floor. Once they can wiggle at a few weeks they can wiggle off surfaces.

Some babies hate moses baskets, gro bags, swaddles etc. So buy the minimum this always includes new mattresses and get things given to you/buy second hand.

Breast feeding may not hurt you and give you sore nipples it completely depends on you, which is down to your genes. I have had no issues but know other women who have had one or more difficulties. If you can set up a new email address it is worth getting samples of things like Lansinoh and nappy cream to see if you use it then you can get more if you do.

While you may buy size 1 nappies you can find either your baby needs size 0 for the first few weeks or needs size 2 after a week. They can also react to them. So don't over buy nappies unless you are happy to give them to a food bank. Also don't over buy wipes in case your baby reacts to a particular brand.

I am another mix feeder. I know I was doing it from the start so had bottles however my baby doesn't like the expensive bottles I have. Luckily they were given to me even though they were new and unused. It isn't uncommon to find you stock up on one type but your baby prefers a completely different type.