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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Miscarriage SSP form

21 replies

Holly2202 · 28/12/2018 09:47

I am currently going through a miscarriage. I've been to see my GP who has booked me off for a week.

There is a box on the form where I need to give a reason for 'sickness', however I don't want to explain to work what has happened. I don't want to lie either, but it's just a personal experience that I don't want to talk about with work.

They are aware that I have been in and out of hospital so reasons like stress or bereavement would not be acceptable.

Does anyone have experience with alternative reasons?

Thanks

OP posts:
tittietinsel · 28/12/2018 09:56

Is this a self certification? In which case the GP hasn't 'booked' you off for a week, or a for note, In which case the GP states the reason?

The former, I would just put anything tbh, the latter, I'm sure your GP knows how to be sensitive, it will have come up before.

tittietinsel · 28/12/2018 09:56

*fit note Blush

physicskate · 28/12/2018 09:59

I put miscarriage on the hr form at work. I was absolutely crapping myself about it. No one spoke to me about it and I didn't offer more information. It was a good thing I put it down in the end when I needed time off for fertility treatment.

Very sorry for your loss.

Original poster
Holly2202 · 28/12/2018 10:15

Thanks, I suppose it's best to be honest.

Did you end up getting pregnant?

OP posts:
physicskate · 28/12/2018 10:22

It was through ivf and over a year later. I'm currently 30 weeks.

First chemical in July 2016. Second in March 2017 (the one where I took a day off of work and had to give a reason to hr). Conceived June 2018 through ivf.

Original poster
Holly2202 · 28/12/2018 10:23

That's great news! Congratulations on you pregnancy! And thanks for your feedback.

OP posts:
Santaisonthesherry · 28/12/2018 10:24

Just write women's troubles. If you boss is a man he won't ask!!

physicskate · 28/12/2018 10:27

Thank you. I feel very lucky (despite this pregnancy turning out to be a bit difficult).

Above all, do things that are kind to yourself.

BibiThree · 28/12/2018 10:27

I have had time off work in the past for miscarriage, always beat to be honest. No one was insensitive or raised it with me.

Littlehotdog · 28/12/2018 10:31

With my first mc my doctor wrote gynaecological problems. I was mortified someone might think I had an std or something (I know that's ridiculous) anyway I told them it was mc. With my second he just wrote mc. It's such a hard one isn't it :-( on the one hand I received a lot of support from work in terms of time off and coming back to my (very manual) job with limited duties. But on the other I didn't really want the whole world to know.

I think what I decided in the end was that mc happens to so many women and I should try not to be so focussed on what people thought. I worried id be pitied and they might treat me differently. However everyone was lovely and acted normally around me when I went back to work.

Sorry you're going through this OP.

Original poster
Holly2202 · 28/12/2018 10:48

Thanks everyone.

My main concern now is falling pregnant again / pregnancy complications / mc.

The doctor says I need to wait about 6 months before trying again, and advised that cycles will be disrupted for quite some time. I've also read a lot about being more likely to have a future mc's now that I've had one, so it's quite upsetting not knowing if this could be the start of a long and difficult journey :(

OP posts:
xJune88 · 28/12/2018 10:55

I wrote miscarriage on my forms both times and told my boss about it both times as I had alot of time of work at hospital and with pain and stress. Currently 21 weeks pregnant 3rd time lucky! This pregnancy was awful at the beginning and including lots of bleeding and worry so I'm always just honest then time off work is allowed as pregnancy related. Also I don't know if you do need to wait 6 months? I was told both times it's better to have one period just to clear body out but could try when ready. I fell pregnant one cycle after loss both times. Fingers crossed for you, don't give up xxx

Littlehotdog · 28/12/2018 11:11

@Holly2202 did he say why you had to wait? I tried again both times straight away and after my second mc I fell pregnant with no period. I'm currently 14 weeks :-) yes it has been very nerve wracking and I won't lie the excitement has kind of been spoiled but we are getting there :-) also my doctor told me after my first mc (and my second!) that my chances of another mc were incredibly slim! I did a lot of research after my first and the percentages are still massively in your favour to have a healthy pregnancy :-)

physicskate · 28/12/2018 11:27

Your chance of miscarriage is actually decreased. 30% will have one miscarriage but only about 10% will have two. And then about 3-4% will have three in a row. So the numbers are on your side here.

Was it a molar pregnancy? I know you're often advised to wait 6 months after a molar pregnancy. If you're not sure if it was molar or not, it's highly unlikely it was!

Original poster
Holly2202 · 28/12/2018 11:45

He said it would take that amount of time for my cycle to regulate again?

OP posts:
Original poster
Holly2202 · 28/12/2018 11:46

I don’t even know what a molar pregnancy is haha, so don’t think it was one!? Just a failed pregnancy.

OP posts:
xJune88 · 28/12/2018 11:52

I wouldn't worry about 6 months then. Can take ages to get a period but no reason not to try. My period took 8 weeks to come after loss xx

Littlehotdog · 28/12/2018 12:03

How odd, ours said try again when we wanted :-) even if your periods aren't back to normal straight away you could still fall pregnant :-) maybe ask for a second opinion. Anyway best of luck to you and all the best xxx

seven201 · 28/12/2018 12:06

It might take a few months for your cycle to get back to normal but I don't think there's any need to put off ttc again - specific medical issues excluded. I started trying again straight away. In theory you're more fertile after a mc - didn't work for me though!

I didn't have any time off but if I had I'd have put miscarriage. It's nothing to be ashamed of and time off for pregnancy is excluded from recording of sick days. I've not worded that well!

QforCucumber · 28/12/2018 12:07

I asked for Miscarriage to be put onto mine, it meant that they were much more sensitive about asking about it. I don't know if the team were advised (I was off for 4 weeks due to hemorrhaging during the MC and the afterwards anemia etc) but i think they may have been purely because when I returned noone really questioned where I'd been too much, and I appreciated that a lot - getting straight back into work helped my head rather than having people ask and have to repeat over and over

Superpooper · 28/12/2018 12:09

You’d know if it was molar - it can involve chemo and all sorts.

Flowers sorry things have been shit, I hope your work is supportive when you go back.

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