Scared

[Eclipse12310]

My husband and I are happily married for many years and although never 100% on kids we were 70/30 about it and had long talks about the topic. I’m 34 yrs old so we decided to try. After 2nd cycle, Im pregnant. All at once my anxiety skyrocketed and I felt we made a bad decision. Every negative thought came in. Will this put stress on our marriage? Do i actually want a kid or was it a fear of missing out? Do I have the emotional intelligence to raise a child well? I went into panic mode, and couldn't be excited or happy about it. I wished my period came and I was dreaming. I dont think my first reaction should be so negative in starting a family and was very telling. I was honest with my husband. Im scared mostly for the stress it will bring to a marriage as I have diagnosed depression and anxiety. I am currently off my medication. I know this sounds awful but I looked up abortion information just in case I wanted out. Please don’t pass judgement as Im frightened, feel alone and scared of the unknown. I wont regret it if the baby is healthy, I will enjoy being a mom, and I can manage the stress but there is a huge leap of faith im taking and im in flight or fight. How will i know Ill enjoy being a mom? Its been 3 days and Im still in shock and hoping that a few days will pass and Ill feel better. Has anyone else felt so negative that although planned they wanted out? Felt trapped? In need of guidance. I wish I felt remotely excited or happy but I’m not there.

Firstly I'm no expert on this but whenever I read posts like this I think that it is perfectly normal for women to have a wee freak out when they first find out. I also think that all these thought will contribute to being a great parent. You care. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have 9 months to get used to the idea. Have a think about some of those moments which will make you smile and warm to the like Christmas morning with an excited son or daughter, the cuddles, the fun and games. It's not gonna be rosy, it's gonna be hard but don't feel bad that you are having these feelings now. Allow yourself some time x

Oh and there is masses and masses of help available to you. If you are suffering with anxiety and depression, there are services out there, speak to your GP. There is no judgement.

I was exactly the same. Try and take one day at a time and give yourself time to adapt to the idea. There is never a right time to become a parent. Everyone will tell you the bad side of being a parent, but rarely tells you the good. Don't feel like other women don't feel the same as you, they do! I certainly did! Even now I'm pregnant with my second, I'm thinking oh blimey! New born stage again and my anxiety is bad, but, it will pass and I know deep down it's what I want.

Congratulations by the way!

Have been freaking out myself after falling so quickly. I honestly thought it would take forever.
I came on here and posted just yesterday about the fear of it all at 5 weeks.
Everyone made me feel so much better.
I am 30, married for 4 years and been with my husband over 10 years. We have a good life and although we want to start a family, i honestly felt like i had ruined our lives.
I didnt want anything to change and lose myself but from what people have said i think this is a mixture of hormones and rational thinking.
We are going to change alot but thats not all bad. We will grow as people and most likely for the first time since we were teenagers in making such a big step.

So as someone else said to me. Be kind to yourself.
This will pass and we might change but you will have something to show for all these changes. You will be an evolved version of you - but still you.