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Original poster

Should I announce to my friends via WhatsApp or tell them face to face?

31 replies

Crossfitgirl · 27/12/2018 20:26

Im currently pregnant and have told all my family and now want to tell my few close friends. I planned to tell them face to face, but when the opportunity has arisen there have been other people there so I've not wanted to spill the beans.
I now feel exhausted and nauseous all the time and feel I want my 2 close friends support but not sure I want to wait nor might I be able to face an actual meet up with how I feel at the moment!

I thought about messaging my 2 best friends on WhatsApp to tell them but I'm torn as I thought it would have been nice to do it face to face, see their reactions etc and have a good girlie chat about conception etc (they know we've been trying). I'm getting to the point I'm having to start fibbing about things like turning down an afternoon drinking session etc...

Would you tell them on WhatsApp or just wait it out till i see them?

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Bigonesmallone3 · 27/12/2018 20:30

How far along r u?
If u want them to know and can never find an opportunity, tell them through text then make time to have a good chat about it..
Or wait til the right moment arises to tell them to there face..

Mikewazowskismrs · 27/12/2018 20:30

I just told my friends on a group chat as I would have probably not seen them till I was about 5 month pregnant 😂

mortifiedmama · 27/12/2018 20:39

I did it over WhatsApp with one friend. I knew she'd be happy (she'd been reading supportive with my miscarriage and we'd talked a lot). She was really happy for me but what I hadn't factored for was that her grandmother had unexpectedly died that morning. I felt awful! Told everyone face to face after that!

Original poster
Crossfitgirl · 27/12/2018 20:41

I'm 7+4. It's weird it normally takes us months to get together when we're all free but they've arranged to go drinking on Sunday at short notice. I could go with and just tell them then, but I don't know if I could face going out as the nausea doesn't seem to pass until late in the evening.
We have a group chat too, maybe I will wait and see how i feel and if I feel OK on Sunday I will go meet them and if not, I could video call them on whatsapp whilst they are out together... Hmmm

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ShotsFired · 27/12/2018 20:46

Why don't you phone them and have an actual conversation?

Even a video call!

All this perpetual texting is so weird for people we call friends.

CocoLoco87 · 27/12/2018 20:46

I told some gf's face to face when i was around 5 weeks. It was lovely seeing their reaction. I know some people wouldn't say anything till after 12 week scan etc, but these friends would have been a huge support if I'd had a miscarriage so I wanted them to know early.

mortifiedmama · 27/12/2018 20:53

All this perpetual texting is so weird for people we call friends. Depends how you normally communicate. I've got friends I've never had a phone call with. I don't like phone calls.

bourbonbiccy · 27/12/2018 20:54

Definitely face to face. I told my close friends face to face with showing them the scan. It was priceless to see their faces and one of them just burst out crying for us. It was a real magic moment.

So impersonal doing it over Whatsapp or at least give them a call if you can't pop around to see them.

mrsed1987 · 27/12/2018 20:54

I told all close friends on whatsapp as i dont see them regularly

greendale17 · 27/12/2018 21:01

My friends told me face to face. Lovely that way

MrsJane · 27/12/2018 21:07

Try to go out on Sunday, even for a little while, as it's so lovely seeing their reaction face to face!

Otherwise, I think a message is absolutely fine.

SD1978 · 27/12/2018 21:12

Personally would prefer a phone call than a message. I don't understand why it has to be face to face or by text. Surely a phone call is the better way so you can actually share at the time, not whenever they see the message?

BrusselPout · 27/12/2018 22:02

Phone them - don't WhatsApp it's waaaay too impersonal, so a call is the next best thing (unless they are struggling with infertility or mc's in which case go with the text and give them time to process before having to face you!)

Oh and congratulations! Thanks

LittleDoveLove · 27/12/2018 22:26

I sent a 'guess what' and a scan pic to my closest friends individually. And I did a what's app group to the others :) I did that about 14 weeks when we had told family etc and got first scan out and tests all done :)

SuperVeggie · 28/12/2018 06:27

It is lovely to tell people face to face if you can. However I would say it’s worth thinking first about whether any of your other friends have been TTC and if it might upset them to find out. I know this sounds weird but I have a couple of friends who TTC either for a very long time without success or had multiple losses and they said they found it very difficult to be told that others were PG even though they were of course really happy for their friends. If you tell people F2F it puts them on the spot and there can be a lot of pressure on their reaction. For this reason I told a lot of people over text as it gives people time to process stuff and then respond.

Congratulations on your pregnancy x

toastfiend · 28/12/2018 10:15

I tried to tell my closest friends around the same time so they wouldn't find out from each other etc. (they're generally discreet but I figured these things can easily slip if you think everyone in a close friendshio circle knows!) One friend who lives more locally and I see more frequently and I knew would be delighted with the news I told face to face when I saw her. She was chuffed for us and it was fabulous to see her reaction. A couple of others who are wonderful friends but live further away I told via WhatsApp with a picture. Neither are super baby orientated so I knew they'd be pleased for me but might want a bit of time to process the news/might find it easier to respond via text. Others who don't know each other and therefore wouldn't have accidentally let the news slip I told through phone calls etc. or just when we happened to be seeing each other anyway. As others have said, I sometimes think WhatsApp or text is a good way to do it as it allows people to absorb the news in their own time on the off chance that they are also TTC and might be struggling.

whiteonesugar · 28/12/2018 10:52

I WhatsAppd my friends but only cos we didn’t have plans to all get together for a while and I didn’t want to rock up 20 weeks pregnant and not having told anyone! We are on WhatsApp a lot so it isn’t weird, plus it’s my second so they are probably less bothered haha

whiteonesugar · 28/12/2018 10:53

I also messaged one friend separately as she’s going through fertility issues and I know from experience it’s easier to get news on your own so you can feel a bit sad before slapping on a brave face x

WeeBean · 28/12/2018 11:55

I messaged most of my close friends for the same reason OP, my nausea and morning sickness was so bad I couldn't leave the house. While it would've been lovely to do it face to face I'm 15w and still struggling so it would've been ages before I could tell them face to face.

TulipsInbloom1 · 28/12/2018 11:57

I hate talking on the phone.

We all just sent whatsapp pics of scan to one another.

Brickswithstones · 28/12/2018 12:04

Why don't you do a whatsapp video call, OP? It's almost face to face.

Original poster
Crossfitgirl · 28/12/2018 14:35

We do usually just WhatsApp, I don't think it's impersonal, just we don't really do phone calls just to chat - we just catch up in person. They'd probably think it was weird if I called!
I'd much rather tell them in person but I want to tell them soon and at the moment I'm having to sit down even just to clean my teeth I'm so lethargic.
I think I'm going to wait until after this weekend then if I'm still no better, then WhatsApp it is.

I hope it does lift soon and I feel like a human being again! I've heard MS can go on right until the birth... Hope not!!

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PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 28/12/2018 14:52

The two friends that I have to tell (as I am now showing and don’t want to mug them off by going “oh it’s just pies) both have fertility issues and this will be #3 for me. I have to do this f2f as I don’t want to come across as insensitive my saying over what’s app - for one it may be the best way but the other would take angrily to not being told f2f.

Only you know your chums. If you’re sure nobody is having some fertility issues and won’t mind this news on text then just tell them.

LittleDoveLove · 29/12/2018 09:41

My worst weeks where weeks 7-11 @Crossfitgirl then it faded quite quickly. Hang on in there 😊

Original poster
Crossfitgirl · 29/12/2018 10:20

Thanks littledovelove. I have now told one friend over WhatsApp last night. Feel loads better for it!

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