Worried about losing myself

[Hailw]

Hi all

First time post and first time expecting.
Just found out im 5 weeks pregnant and although we were trying its happened very quickly.

I suddenly feel overwhelmed, like i will completely lose who i am.
I knew it would change my life but i have a good life and now feel a terriable guilt and upset and not sure if this is normal.
I think its shock - i am happy, and i do want my baby. I just seem to be upset in waves and worrying about losing everything I have.

Hey OP. I think that's totally normal. I'm also expecting my first, and I was super excited at first. But I have also felt extreme worry and also a little sadness at the end of my life as I know it. It's still really fucking scary even when it's planned, but I've found its helped to chat to DH about it. Make plans already for holidays we will go on and stuff we will do and just take the baby with us. Because actually, life will go on and you'll just adapt it to have the baby with you.
Take some time to adjust, it's a big change!
But it doesn't mean life is over, just a bit different.
:-)

Congratulations xxx

I was exactly the same before having my first (now almost 1) at points I even regretted keeping him during my later months. However, once he was here all was fine. The worries that ate away at me just didn’t matter. That’s not to say it wasn’t awful and seemed a huge deal at the time, but it really was okay.
You don’t have to loose yourself when baby is here either. We still have hobbies and our own interests-i was back at the gym when he was about 2 1/2 weeks old (& breastfed still) and we regularly camped and went out etc. He just fitted in to our lives.
Hormones play havoc and make you think all sorts during pregnancy, but In reality your life won’t be over. Just more full of love and joy than you thought possible (odd bad day too of course but they’re soon forgotten)

Ah love, I was massively the same too. I think a small quantity of those thoughts are normal. We tried for 2 years and she was really wanted but the fear of the loss of me was always there. For me, it became all consuming and my need to continue to be the old me while being the new me did effect my mental health. I can remember day 5 after she was born hosting a ‘sip and see’ at our house and was breast feeding her in one arm, chopping fruit and cucumber for the pimms wity the other while greeting guests. Utter madness but that’s what I would have done before so that’s what I did. I also went back to work way to early as I wanted to be my old self.... Just look after yourself, keep and eye on how you feel and whether it gets consuming and seek help ASAP if it does. I’m now pregnant with number 2 so it did get much better!

Thank you so much.
Guessing its all hormones to a degree but as its so early i dont have anyone to talk to.
Its good to know im not alone.

I could have written this myself at 5 weeks. I fell pregnant within 3 weeks of trying and felt exactly the same. Went on holiday to France with family and felt so unlike myself and felt like I was never going to feel like myself ever again. I kind of just allowed myself to feel how I was feeling but hoped it would lift after the first trimester. I'm now 25 weeks and felt so much better by the start of the second trimester. In fact I knew exactly when I was starting to feel better because I put music on while I was pottering in the house for the first time in weeks. I rememeber singing to one of my favourite songs and thinking 'oh, I'm still me, I'm just going to be a mum!' I still have times where I panic which I'm sure is normal but that bleak feeling of having lost myself forever has lifted. Be kind to yourself and try not to feel guilty, it will pass.