Huge problem!!!!! two pregnancies, one family

[cryingoutloud]

I am currently 10 - 11 weeks pregnant (scan dates and period dates are currently conflicting). Anyway, this is my third child (hopefully) and I have just found out that my sister in law is also pregnant with her first 3 weeks or so before mine. Now I don't have a problem with it but I know for definite that she will. I have two ds and when ds2 was born she said to another family member that the fact that I have had another son gives her a chance to have a girl.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I am woried about how my children will be treated on the basis of I am not my husband's family's first choice in partner for him. I don't now for things to change with my children.

i don't see the problem myself!! concentrate on your own pg and baby - don't worry about what she's doing, your not competing!

your right but I feel like we will be. We are always being compared (similar age). Who's more successful career wise, who's prettier, thinner the lot. When we lived close to her it was awful! We moved 3 yrs ago and things have been much better but I still get the bitchy comments said about reported back to me through mutual friends.

I jus don't want to be compared again and I fear this will send us back to that situation.

You are the most important person in your children's life. You and their dad. Everyone else is gravy really. I have a whole pile of disinterested in-laws who really couldn't care less that ds is here. No matter. Their loss. You love them and that's the end of it.

Odd comment from your SIL though. She does realise that your boys really don't mean that she will have a girl?!!! She is a bit insecure but that doesn't have to be your problem.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

I will have to remember that I am not in a comptetion even though I am sure family members will compare us.

What's the competition? You could compete on who can eat their own body weight in Belgian Chocolate Haagen Dazs but basically these are two separate pregnancies, you have nothing to be ashamed of, you go for it and congratulations to you!

cryingoutloud. Persoanlly I would see this as a lovely thing, both children similar age so hopefully enjoy eachothers company. You can support eachother etc. I was pregnant with my first when my sister was pregnant with her 3rd. There are 4 weeks exactly between them. In a way it is nice they are boy & girl but I dont think it really makes a huge difference.

Congratulations btw

Sometimes daughters(your SIL) get a bit more of the glory than sons (your DH) iyswim, so try not to let that get to you.

thanks for all the advice. I guess right now I'm worried but in a few weeks I'm sure I will be ok. Like beansprout said my children are mine and my husband and we love them ever so muchso there is nothing to worry about.

Agree with awen... this could be a great opportunity for you to become closer to your SIL.

I am also PG with number 3 and my SIL is expecting her first baby about 5 wks after me...

Think about the positive... cousins near in age who will have great fun together!

Congrats and all the best